Looking for the silver lining

Sun_Addict

Hi Lucky - I would go off sick but don't want to be on my own thinking. At least while I'm at work I have some normality. And people around me.

brizzledfw

Sending hugs xxxxxx ((((((()))))))))))

Dumyat

I'm not surprised you have had such a horrid day after yesterdays news.
SA I wish I could say something to make it all better, but I can't.
If going to work helps you cope, then do it.

satchmo1

Oh SA, hugs for you. Don't worry about crying, it's the bodies way of leaking out the pain, and often helps you sleep afterwards as you are then exhausted.

Did you manage to talk with Mr SA's brother? Do Mr SA's brother and sister visit often, and are they bringing useful things to hospital like pyjamas and toiletries?

I bet Taxi will know, but I seem to have a vague idea that lots of body lotion is a good idea as chemo dries the skin?

Friends and family should be encouraged to bring in luxurious items that will make them feel better about themselves, and will contribute to Mr SAs wellbeing. e.g. ready prepared fruit if Mr SAs mouth is dry. Hand-cream, cooling foot lotion, magazines if Mr SA wants them, a funky cushion for the wheelchair, a favourite teams sport shirt for when he gets fed up with pyjamas. Flowers that Mr SA can give to you, so he feels it's not always him on the receiving end.

Satchmo x

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh SA of course you would cry, you have had such bloody shocking news.

Listen to Satchmo - excellent advice.

You will get through. It doesn't feel like it. but you will.

so sleepy but wanted to check in.

take care and think about getting a sick note please - I worry you will wear yourself out

xxxxxxxx

Sun_Addict

Thank you all

Made it into work - was a bit tearful when I got there and people were asking how he is but glad I came in as being here is giving me a diversion and I'm not on my own.

Thanks for the suggestions Satchmo - his brother and wife visited him last night but he was too sleepy to notice. I got a lift home out of them though! Everyone keeps taking him treats in but at the moment he doesn't realise.

Phone the MacMillan helpline today. They are sending me leaflets and say once he's out of hospital he is eligible for PIP but he can't get it whilst an in-patient. At the moment can't envisage him back home but you all know how he goes down one day and back up the next.

Desperately need the garden doing - stuff I can't do like trimming bushes and trees. DS mows the lawn for me but the trees could do with someone "proper" sorting them out. Luckily I've been given a number by someone at work who knows a cheap, reliable and hard working gardener who lives locally. Will give him a ring and get the ball rolling.

Sold a couple of the things I relisted on eBay so have to post them on the way to my second home the hospital. Will never make a fortune on eBay but looking at it as paid decluttering.

brizzledfw

You are doing so well SA...we are all here rooting for you xx

taxi73

Being tearful is part and parcel of this as you are going through so much.Councillors are not just for the patient but the carers too.My poor husband broke down in tears many times when I was ill.When I was first diagnosed the BCN asked if he'd like councilling to help with his feelings..so it's definitely there for relatives.

tunathe_cat

life's a !!!!!! your family have been dealt some unhealthy cards I know have been dealt brain tumour hands with hubby.!
try to be positive and join the train of beating medical odds! its bumpy and bl00dy expensive we had to wait 6 months before hubby qualified for any benefits so went from robin peter to pay paul self employed. to day by day hand by mouth .
professional staff seam to watch and wait and you both have to crumble before they step it. its very in dignifying to ask for help but you will reach a time when begging for help and then they step in but it still takes weeks still waiting for social work in put 4 weeks later!- was originally told don't qualify as we have a 14 year old son who can run household and care for both of us!! I ASKED IF SHE MENT T TAKE HIM OUT OF SCHOOL WAS MET BY SILENCE YOU DO NOT QUALIFY FOR HELP -!! our local carers stepped in and we are in the beginning of s/w system. How people can fudge and make money is beyond me. we have worked until day before brain tumour for my hubby and to October last year and I was made redundant.

hugs SA
Andrea xx

Sun_Addict

Thanks everyone

Andrea - can't believe they would expect a 14 year old to be a carer! Shocking! Sounds like you are finally out of hospital though!

Not a lot of change in Mr SA last night. He was very sleepy and hadn't had anything to eat or drink. He stirred a little while we were there and I got him to eat half a biscuit and drink some coffee and juice. One thing I have noticed is that the nurses are quick to say he hasn't eaten/had a drink and then you see a cup of water on the table where he can't reach it. I know they are busy but surely someone has time to sit with him and coax him - I managed it. He had had a full on day of treatment yesterday so the tiredness wasn't a surprise. Didn't get much sleep last night kept waking up in a panic - like I was on a plane that was about to crash. Panicking about the thought of a life without my man. Can't bear to think about it.