Looking for the silver lining

Bubblesmum

beanielou wrote: »

Agree 100% with what everyone else has posted.
Take care of you xx

Me too...

I am concerned that your OH doesn't see how much support he actually gets from the carer until it disappears and which gives him the independence.

it has also very ensured that you have protected the role of being his wife, that will be eroded if you absorb the carers roles.

I am glad he has been referred to the OT and falls team.

As A disabled person I am an independent so and so, therefore I understand your OH wish to go it alone, but equally as a health professional I see the strain on family members when a person needs certain support to function properly.

Take care, record on here what etc support you end up giving, so we can be a good friend and tell you when we are concerned about you

Hugs

Bubblesmum

satchmo1 wrote: »

That's exactly why it's so worrying that Mr SA will no longer have a carer. Your needs haven't been taken into account at all. Was that decision really driven by budget cuts and dressed up with "Mr SA says he no longer needs a carer", because it's not as if Mr SA is "better". Will he have a medic-alert alarm to wear in case he falls whilst you're at work? Will there be a case review in 12 weeks to assess how Mr SA is faring without a carer?

Wise words xxx

Sun_Addict

Thank you all so much, your support and kind words mean such a lot to me. I know some of you are going through similar and understand.

Re the carer, it was the NHS that withdrew their funding but social services were prepared to pay for him. It was Mr SA who insisted he no longer needed a carer. He told it was getting him down, I could see the social worker wasn't keen on going along with him but he was adamant in what he wanted.

I woke up this morning with a sore throat, aching, streaming nose and eyes, possibly this was partly why I felt so down last night. Although I still don't feel myself. I left work early and had a potter round the shops before going home. I think work doesn't help as all the people I work with now didn't know me before Mr SA got ill and none of them know what I went through. Don't get me wrong they are lovely and they do sympathise with me. I just try to be as normal as I can at work, I would hate to be treated differently.

I'm going to try to focus on what I can change, make a list of what's getting me down, see if there's anything I can change. First thing on the list when I get paid I'm going to book a holiday to Lanzarote for January for a week. I've seen some good deals and will be able to stretch to it. It will be something to look forward to.

This Friday I'm meeting some people I used to work with, now retired, for lunch. So that will be a nice distraction for me. Will make me feel young if nothing else!

The OT is coming to see us next week, she wasn't happy Mr SA had already given the carer his notice. Apparently this shouldn't have happened until everything was in place. He has given him 3 days off this week to "get used to being on his own".

And Satchmo you are right - no one has asked if I'm ok with Mr SA being carer free.

Mr SA has tried to "help" today, I had the big shop delivered at lunchtime, told him to just put the frozen stuff away and I would sort later. I found frozen food in the fridge and am still looking for some of the shopping!

please-let-me-be-lucky

Sorry to hear you are poorly but glad you got some time to yourself when you left work.

You really should have been consulted about the withdrawl of the carer .

I sympathise with the freezer/fridge problem. Mr Lucky does similar things. Today we discovered that after I put the recycling bin out to be collected, Mr Lucky brought it back in again thinking it had been emptied - before the bin men had been. We now have to wait 2 weeks for the next collection with an already-full bin! Xx

Buffythedebtslayer

A January holiday is an excellent idea

really admire the can do-ness of you SA really do.

XXXX

amber03

Agree with everything everybody has said, look after yourself. I suppose if Mr SA was adamant he didn't need a carer , they had to go with his wishes, lets hope that if needed the carer can be reinstated without to many problems. Good luck on booking a holiday and enjoy your lunch on Friday.xx

Sun_Addict

Thanks all, feeling better today, health wise and mentally. Some good news in that DS rang to say grandchild number 2 is due in June Had to laugh at his logic in that if you've got one you might as well have two!

The OT contacted me today and I've got to have another carer's assessment next week. I'm going to see if I can get some sort of support, like a support group maybe.

Am stalking a holiday with Jet2, back to the hotel we went to in April. Will go for the cheapest week, all inclusive. More or less got the spending money as we came back with quite a bit from Ibiza. Before Mr SA got ill we went to Lanzarote every January. The last time being just weeks before he fell ill.

Feel in a much better place today. As the song goes "I get knocked down but I get up again ...".

Sun_Addict

Forgot to add I doubled up my Nectar points today got £40 to spend on home wares so stocked up on towels, baking tins, etc. Would have liked to have got a digital radio with docking station but they didn't have one. Added that to my wish list.

brizzledfw

So sorry it's so hard at the moment. But you are truly, as everyone says on here, an amazing person for all you're doing and a miracle of resilience during some pretty &hitty stuff. Think a holiday is a good idea, you love them and it's a hark back isn't it, to your old life? Its something good that's continuing for you both.

Hope you feel really properly recovered soon....and yes those lyrics are spot on!

brizzledfw

We crossed..well done on the points.

We love our radio like that..recommend it