Looking for the silver lining

beanielou

Glad you had a great time :j :j

The SW team just sound dire.
So how long has the care package been granted for this time?

Sun_Addict

They usually assess it every 6 months Beanie. It's to be funded part health and part social care. I can't see it ending at all to be honest because he was told he will be the best he's going to be by the end of the year and we're nearly there now. He seems to have come to a total standstill. It's his mobility and cognitive skills that are rubbish. Guessing that's the part of his brain that got damaged. He's really fed up at the moment. All he can see is that he's lost his old life but I'm just grateful he's still here. I can't make him see he's still got quality of life, it's just different now, and he's lucky to be here.

Sun_Addict

So have done my finances. Have transferred some money from ISA to top up cash flow. Once the debt is paid off I'll put it back. I used £60 of it to pay some off Halifax card. This is how things stand:

Tesco card £0 (today's Mr M order to go on yet but have the money for this)
Halifax card £1560

Total debt £1560

VSP = £294.90

Still determined to be debt free by the end of next month. It's not impossible.

Forgot to say I've had an appointment come through for allergy testing - next month. I've also been "picked at random" to fill in a carer questionnaire. Apparently it's to improve their service and they only contact you if they think you are in danger.

beanielou

I can see to a degree where Mr SA is coming from.
I can do less & less.
Things i used to do with relative ease I can no longer.
It is hard sometimes to deal with, both from a physical & an emotional point of view.
No easy answers.
I feel more & more a burden
I can also see it from your point of view that you are just pleased that he is here

PS in awe of you of even thinking you can pay off that amount of debt in 6 weeks :eek:

Sun_Addict

I know Beanie - think I'm being a bit over optimistic. Still a girl can dream . I do have 2 more paydays to go so almost do-able if I really go for it.

Mr SA has got me down a bit today he has been so depressed. Might be post holiday blues but today's visit hasn't helped, it's reminded him. Plus he's been watching Stand up to Cancer on C4 which has been depressing at times with the stories.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Glad you had a good holiday but boo to Social Worker not turning up again :mad:.

Do YOU think you are in danger? Can you see why they'd think you are?

I can see both sides of how you and Mr SA feel post accident. Mr Lucky and I feel similar.

Big hugs to you and Beanie Xx

Sun_Addict

Lucky there's no way I'm in danger but I can see that some carers may be if the person they care for is violent so I guess they're covering all bases. I filled in the questionnaire and it was mainly asking about the support I'd been offered from social services. I did point out that I know nothing about my rights as a carer from an employment point of view, no one has given me advice as regards this.

Sorry to hear you also feel low Beanie. Like Mr SA you are aware of what you used to be capable of and no longer are. It's hard to know what to say to him to make him feel better. I can offer him support but feel useless at times. And there is nothing I can say to alleviate his fear of the tumour returning, which I know is his main concern. I hope there is someone supporting you in RL.

grannyx2

Glad you had a good time SA.

Sorry to hear Mr SA is struggling. Living with the fear of cancer returning is horrid but as more time passes it eases. I can totally relate to how he feels about what he's lost though. I find myself less able these days and it drives me mad and I get cross with myself. Especially when it started with a flu virus. It's so hard when you used to be fit and active and must be hard for him to cope with losing his ability to support you.

Sorry you are struggling too Beanie x

Hugs for all who need them x



Granny x

*Robin*

Hi Sun.A, :hello:

So glad to read that you and MrSA had a wonderful holiday!**
(We had a couple of bad storms - was hoping they'd missed you ).
(** Bar MrSA's fall).

Do feel for MrSA - and everyone else facing the worry of "Will it come back?"
Maybe it would be worth considering a change of carer to someone capable of accompanying MrSA to regular swimming sessions?

When you spoke about MrSA's enthusiasm for his pond and the fish, I was hoping this might become an engrossing hobby - something to read up on and work at - both mental and physical stimulation.

Can understand the lure of programmes about cancer - would probably tune in to the C4 series m'self if I could - but watching that is hardly likely to make MrSA feel better..

As usual, a loud :T :T for your continuing fantastic debt-busting efforts, Sun.A.

Sun_Addict

Thanks all

Well Mr SA has been a pain today. He wanted to go for his coffee fix, I didn't really feel like it but I gave in. Then we very slowly shuffled round town for a bit and he bought his latest bee in his bonnet which is a rucksack (don't ask!) before I insisted we go home as I'd had enough. I like looking round the shops but it is so painfully slow going with him there is no pleasure in it. On getting off the bus we had to pass our local Wetherspoons which of course we ended up in as he wanted to go to the toilet but to be honest for lunch and a drink each for £10 you can't moan and he was happy. But since he had his afternoon nap he has been a pain, stumbling about everywhere and has been hard to get through to. I'm surprised he hasn't had another fall the way he's been. Thankfully he's now gone to bed, he tried to switch the TV off but I said hang on a minute it's Saturday night and I'm still watching it thank you very much!!!!

I feel awful feeling cross with him but he can be very trying at times.

Robin re the swimming - the assessor lady thought there might be supervised swimming for disabled people whereby the carer could take him and sit in the spectator bit. I will look into this locally. He really needs to build his strength up. The pond and fish are still amusing him thankfully as are his plans for the garden. The C4 programme was quite harrowing in parts, especially the young ones. He had to switch over in the end.

Anyway plans for tomorrow - meal plan, exercise plan, lose weight plan, prepare for going back to work and will get to see GD at some stage:)

Totally lost my way with the 10 days sections of 100 day challenge but still have time to get back on the wagon.