Looking for the silver lining

please-let-me-be-lucky

I hope all has gone ok today Xx

Sun_Addict

Thanks all - you are all such a support


The tracheostomy went fine. He is off sedation and very slowly coming round. He isn't opening his eyes yet but is yawning (!!after all the sleep he's had) and they say he is responding as he should be. Don't know if he knew I was there or not. They cleared out tracheostomy twice while I was there - which wasn't pleasant and he pulled a face so he knows what's going on. Told him I'd been gardening again today and he raised his eyebrows - me gardening is enough to raise anyone's eyebrows!! BUT (and why is there always a but?) I didn't like the way the nurse asked for a second opinion on the colour of what is coming out of the drain in his head which is draining the fluid off his brain. The other nurse said she had "never seen it so red before" but said to keep an eye on it and if his nurse was unhappy with it to ask the doctor. Serves me right for earwigging but do I need to be concerned about this?

I never got around to making my soup I just didn't feel like it. I'll buy something for lunch on the way to work, which totally goes against the grain but I'm just not me at the moment. Took the dog for two walks and tidied up the garden before I set off for hospital. Feel really down tonight - I feel like I'm grieving for the life I had just four weeks ago before everything went pear shaped. I have no idea how much money I've been spending just lately. Been buying groceries day to day and spending £3.40 a day on an all day bus ticket which isn't bad as it's two buses there and two back. However prior to this I hadn't caught a bus in ages because I normally walk the three miles to work and OH picks me up. You have no idea how it feels at the moment when I walk out of work and he's not there.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Oh Petal poor you. It must be so tough .

Is there a specialist you can talk to at the hospital? I also was guilty of earwigging when DH was in hospital but there was a wonderful head injury nurse who was always happy to sit and explain things to me. Perhaps there is someone similar at your hospital, even if they have to be sourced from elsewhere rather than the ITU?

As for food etc, you know you have to eat and you know that eating the right foods will ultimately make you feel better, but I also know that sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and if that means spending money or eating junk then so be it. You need to look after yourself now though, because when DH is at home you will automatically put yourself last.

I have everything crossed you get a restful evening and a good night's sleep Xx

Sun_Addict

Just had the first cry since all this started. - I feel like it's just hit me!

please-let-me-be-lucky

That's because the adrenalin just ran out.

Let it all out, you will feel better for it I promise.

Big hugs Xx

taxi73

Looks like the shock is wearing off now and the anger/grieving is creeping in..these are all normal emotions in the circumstances..cry as much as you need to as it'll do you no good holding on to it.
There are councillors at the hospital to help you through anything if it becomes too much for you.I always think it's so hard on the families who have to go through this.
Glad his trachyotemy went well.That's one thing out of the way,everything is baby steps at this stage.Hopefully they can get him well enough for the next step.He's in the best place to be looked after and the staff will be very experienced in these things and am sure will involve a DR if they are worried about the drainage xx
hugs and prayers to you and your family xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh Sun Addict. Cry, it has to be done.

Perhaps that particular nurse many not have been very experienced so perhaps don't put too much on to her words you don't know how many of these ops she has seen. Focus on the positives - the trach...nope no good can't spell it! went well and he is aware of what is going on.

Sundays in hospitals are always a bit !!!! or at least it feels like it. Looooong day.

Taxi is right he is in the best place and it is tough being sort of on the out side - if that makes sense. When Dad was in hospital I was always at work and missed the doctors.

ridiculous but try not to worry about money - am sure you have have things set up to tick over so perhaps do that for now.

hopefully you are asleep now and the dog is keeping you company.

Love Buffy xxx

Sun_Addict

Evening all and thanks

OH is now breathing on his own and responding. He still hasn't opened his eyes but they say he is still groggy. Saw his consultant and she is pleased with his progress. They are planning on starting his chemo next week. She said tumour is very deep so that was why it bled. The drainage bag thing must have been something and nothing as it wasn't mentioned. They are talking about him moving to high dependency unit tomorrow as he is no longer ill enough for intensive care. Phew!!


Told insurance company about holiday cancellation and we will just lose £65 per person excess.


Tesco credit card statement was ready today so paid off balance.


Feel a lot more positive tonight. However at the end of the end of the day he still has brain tumour but hopefully chemo will sort it out.

Buffythedebtslayer

That sounds good Sun Addict, positive news always welcome. It is really good they can treat it.

It must feel better to have the holiday and CC sorted.

I really hope you are eating and making sure you are taking care of yourself.

Take care Lovely xxx

Sun_Addict

Thanks Buffy

I am eating - not much but something at least and I'm making sure I eat plenty of fruit and veg. Bought dog a ball on a rope thing and she is currently trying to destroy it. She has been such a comfort.


Rang his accountant today and explained situation - he said I can still send off his stuff and hopefully by the time tax return is ready for signing he will be able to do it. At least I can get the ball rolling. Managed to retrieve his belongings from hospital. I am currently washing his clothes and have put his phone away ready to charge up as once he is up and running he'll be asking for it.


At least by "doing" I feel I can keep going. I'm a doing type of gal!


Night all xxx