How does church work?

Newly_retired

I'd suggest you find a church with a notice board, or one open during the week that you can go into and look at their notices to see what's on. Maybe they get a mention in your local paper too. That way, you can see if they offer something appropriate for you and your toddler.

Whilst in theory nobody will mind your toddler making a noise, if you just landed on a solemn and serious type of service ( especially now its Lent) other people might feel disturbed when they are trying to listen to a sermon or pray about adult concerns. I used to go to a church which was very welcoming but did not normally get children on SUnday so did not have a creche and it could be awkward during the 15+ minute sermon as there was no specific provision for children at that time.

Having said that, my daughter recently took her two children, 8 and 5, to a formal service and were made most welcome. The kids know how to behave and were happy with colouring books.

Most but not all churches will have at least one service a month designed for young families and/or newcomers, and this would be the best place to start. Even better if there is a midweek slot eg Toddler Praise or Messy Church. Both will include activities eg crafts, games, and Messy Church usually includes a meal. You will be made most welcome.
You can join in as much or as little as you like. Oh and wear what you are confortable with. If you sit not too near the front you can watch when other people stand and sit, but it really doesn't matter.

Mr_Falling_Star

Shop around a bit, check a few out until you find one that suits you. In my experience C of E Churches and the Salvation Army are usually the best to start off with.

apesxx

Our church has "pram service" on the first wednesday of the month for pre school kids where they usually listen to a story, do some craft or act out the story etc. They have church parade on the 2nd sunday of the month when its family service and no communion. All the groups are there (beavers, rainbows, brownies etc). They have family praise on a friday evening twice a month and they also run a sunday school 2-3 times a month too which my children love, so they very much welcome children into church.

You would probably be best contacting the churches you wish to attend as i dont think all are as relaxed as my church. They hold a service at 8am for people who wish to attend without children.

janninew

Hi Op,

I was brought up with no religion what so ever, didn't attend a Church school or ever step foot in a Church. As an adult I never thought much about religion or my faith. Last year I had a very prem baby who was hanging on and very poorly and I found myself in the Church at the end of my road. I got chatting to the Vicar/Priest (its a Catholic Church) and what fantastic support he offered me and different opinions and ideas to help me cope. Completely changed my perception of Churches and the help they can offer. I'm still not sure that I believe in God and I don't attend Church regularly, but when I go to have a sit and think (never been to a Service) the Vicar/Priest always remembers me and comes over to chat, he has never put any pressure on me to convert etc!

Hope you can find what you are looking for.

Torry_Quine

fluffnutter wrote: »

OP, try your local CofE church. I'll probably upset a few people, but stay away from anything non-conformist for the moment, e.g. things that style themselves as family churches and meet at the local school hall on sunday mornings. Stay away from spiritualist churches and the Baptists. This is where you find the more fundamental, bigoted bollox like all gay people should be hanged and the earth's only 4000 years old and Darwin was a heathen and all that.

A nice mainstream church like the CofE is less likely to support all that silliness and instead you'll enjoy a nice singsong once a week, a chat from a bloke in a frock and some tea and cake afterwards.

You, as a single parent, will be more than welcome, as will your toddler and his pushchair (space depending you might have to fold it and leave it at the back or whatever). Many churches have creches for the little ones for part of the service so once you've found your feet you could ask about this. You can wear what you like, and it doesn't matter if you don't know the songs. Vicars are really approachable and tend to hang around at the end of the service shaking hands with people. This is a great opportunity to just blurt out 'I'm new. I'd like to find out about the church and join your congregation'. He or she should be more than willing to help and advise.

Enjoy!

I can't let that go without saying that that is very, very wrong.

You cannot put spiritualists and baptists together for a start. No-one is saying homosexuals should be hanged, the earth is only 4000 years old or any other nonsense.

sulkisu

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

Are you wanting to push religion onto you own toddler? Or are you looking for social interaction?

If you need to "find god", then so be it, but don't use your toddler as an excuse to!

To be fair, we all 'push' our beliefs and ideals onto our children at that age. My son is two - he has been christened, goes to church, celebrated two Christmases, has more books than toys, doesn't eat pork and doesn't own (nor will ever own) certain toys. Not because he wants to do these things, but because I choose them. I am happy for him to do what he wants when he is old enough to make and express a choice, but until then I will decide for him.

OP all churches are different, you may need to go to a few before you find one where you feel comfortable. Don't discount certain churches because of what you might have heard about them - there can be silliness in all churches. Just go with an open mind and see how you feel. Ultimately, if church is not for you, that's okay too.

Frith

If you want to go to a religion that is all about equality, I would consider the Quakers. They are happy to conduct gay weddings (not sure if any other religion is, perhaps someone can let me know if I'm wrong?)

heartbreak_star

sulkisu wrote: »

To be fair, we all 'push' our beliefs and ideals onto our children at that age. My son is two - he has been christened, goes to church, celebrated two Christmases, has more books than toys, doesn't eat pork and doesn't own (nor will ever own) certain toys.

What toys? I'm curious!!

I guess a lot of my atheism comes from the fact that most of the time faith denies science. Evolution vs creationism is the perfect example.

HBS x

fluffnutter

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I can't let that go without saying that that is very, very wrong.

You cannot put spiritualists and baptists together for a start. No-one is saying homosexuals should be hanged, the earth is only 4000 years old or any other nonsense.

So there aren't factions of the church who are anti homosexuality? And there aren't certain people who claim that the Bible says that the earth is only 4000 (or whatever) years old?

There are. Just because you're religious and you don't feel this way doesn't mean that there aren't others who use their religion to espouse their bigoted views. That's not the fault of religion - that's the fault of those individuals.

I'm just warning the OP that, IME, certain churches are more likely to have members of the congregation with less mainstream views. For example, spiritualists and Baptists.

AFAIK, you're neither so no need to get your knicks in a twist.

Gloomendoom

heartbreak_star wrote: »

What toys? I'm curious!!

I guess a lot of my atheism comes from the fact that most of the time faith denies science. Evolution vs creationism is the perfect example.

HBS x

I don't really think that is true. Certainly not 'most' of the time. I don't think the Creationism vs Evolution argument is a particularly good example either. You won't find many die-hard creationists in a mainstream UK church.