How does church work?

meritaten

I am not in the least religious - but, I respect the beliefs of those who are.
Start with the local church - go along to a service and see how you like it. honestly - one visit does not sign you up for life! if you like it go again or if not, go to another church!

foreign_correspondent

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

I appreciate that he has a choice too and I'm perfectly fine with that. I just want to see if I was missing anything, as I feel I did when I was a kid, it'd be nice to have something to say, yeah, tried that, but not my thing, at least? Rather then, hmm, maybe, but I'm afraid mummy will laugh at me/I'd be the odd one out?
I'm not strictly religious tbh- I'm a strong feminist and that jars with me, but again, I'd like to try it rather than wonder all my life. Now I'm finally independent of family, isn't it time to explore?

I'm a total atheist, and a feminist - but one of our local vicars is one of the most radical supporters of women's rights, equal marriage and human rights that I've ever met.

He happens to be C of E, and I think his views challenge some of his colleagues, but he actually seems to be a very liberal, decent human being.

It has made me re-think some of my ideas about religion, and although I'll never be a believer, it has made me realise that all have our prejudices, me included, and that sometimes we learn to amend them!

I'd say look for a church that supports your beliefs, not one that would make you feel you needed to supress them! Good luck!

DannyBo

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

I've never been to church before except on school trips and religion was laughed at in my household. I've moved out of that environment now and I have a toddler. I'm actually quite curious about going; I like the community, the structure and I'd really like my son to grow up with some sort of 'backing', if you know what I mean?

My mother raised my without any religion to give me complete freedom to choose if I wished; but to be honest, I think it was because she didn't believe in any of it and no choice was ever encouraged. I'd like to explore, see if there's a place for us and maybe be a part of a church.

How do you manage single parenthood in church? What about my son making noise? Am I even allowed, as a single mum? What about a pushchair? I'm really on my own but I'm really quite scared. I was laughed at for wanting to pray when I was younger, for my pets dying and my grandad dying. I don't want my son feeling that.

I'm not sure what faith. I don't know the dress code- dark jeans ok? I don't even know the hymns! Please can anyone help? And please don't mock my novice approach!

Save yourself and your son the bother. You can offer your son backing by letting him express himself and by letting him be himself - without having an outdated organisation laying guilt trips and repression left, right and centre.

Seriously, if there is a God you believe in, he won't mind you 'praying' or speaking to him within your own 4 walls.

If you do decide to 'subscribe' to a church, don't encourage him to become a choir boy.

sillygoose

You would be very welcome at our church, its Church of England but we meet in a local school hall. We are very family friendly and kids roam around, they cry, mums feed babies, kids get involved or they go off into a group for fun during the 'boring' bit. Not very formal at all. Church people love kids around, shhh! but sometimes they are more entertaining than the 'talk'
(if people look at a kid making noise its only concern they are OK or the speaker has gone on a bit long!)
Services vary, usually there is a morning and/or evening family service. Sometimes even more.

Some of the people that come are not Christians but partners or friends of those that are. No one expects them to stand up/sit down, sing, pray or take part in anyway they don't want.

Go to church with an open mind and any decent church will more than anywhere else, accept you with an open mind. A church is a 'service' anyone has the right to go for whatever reason they wish, that's up to you.

Most churches have an office open during some periods of the day/week, give them a call to see when and pop along for a chat, get to know a couple of people first, most the time during the day there will be people doing things at the church to meet. Its always easier to turn up on Sunday if there are a couple of familiar people there.

If you turned up at my church any Sunday you would be welcomed and at the end I guarantee people would be keen to come to you to chat and get to know you. I won't defend every church, some are really stuck in the mud. If you go somewhere and are not made especially welcome don't be put off, try somewhere else.

There is NO need/requirement to be a Christian to go to church!

Ignore silly comments about shoving down throats or brainwashing. The purpose of church is to teach and spread knowledge of God. How can anyone make up their mind without listening to the Christian side of things? many assume they know what its all about and dismiss it outright. Usually they actually are misinformed and clueless about it when put to the test, prejudice is not fact!

I do hope you make it.

UsernameAlreadyExists

coolcait wrote: »

Why the BiB?

Cynicism abounds on these boards. So does disagreement.

That doesn't mean that either is 'unwelcome'.

You can apply the above to any other community - religion, work, groups of friends and many more.

You're right, but I don't want to be single handedly be starting what might turn out to be a religious argument thread. I accept wholly that people are, and that I am not. I can make external observations & comments, but feel mildly uncomfortable doing it as it's such a sensitive subject for many.
I also respect that the OP may be in an uncomfortable place and crying out for help so I really don't want to jeopardise what might be a massively important support thread for her.

sillygoose

I don't get people that say don't expose your child to religion or faith, let them make their own mind up.. how do they do that if they don't know both sides?

Surely screening religion from your child is just as much making their minds up for them as bringing them up a Christians is? smells of hypocrisy to me.

stiltwalker

Our local church (C of E and village) is very welcoming and accepting. DH has faith, I do not. t was however important to him that the kids were Christened and I agreed as long sa it was not just for show, or the party so we now go to Church as a family at least once a month (DH can't take them both on own as due to disabilities they need one to one in such situations) - the vicar and most of the other parishoners are aware that I am not a believer but that I supporting DH to keep the promises he has made and my beliefs or lack thereof are treated with great respect - we go up DH takes communion, both children get a blessing, the vicar says Thankyou Stiltwalker.

Last week I wore dark jeans (in fact the vicar has been known to wear dark jeans for family service - shhhhh) and the children (ours and others) are often noisy and 'join in'. Also last week when the topic was Jesus in the desert one small person piped up at a quiet moment "I want my drink" to great mirth!

We are having a fundraiser on Saturday to raise money for some vital equipment for the kids and we have had great support from the lovely church community which we are a part of. The whole religion thing is not me but many other aspects of the whole experience are.

UsernameAlreadyExists

sillygoose wrote: »

I don't get people that say don't expose your child to religion or faith, let them make their own mind up.. how do they do that if they don't know both sides?

Schooling/education. It's part of the curriculum, even at primary level.

sillygoose wrote: »

Surely screening religion from your child is just as much making their minds up for them as bringing them up a Christians is? smells of hypocrisy to me.

Are you saying that "no religion" is Christian then? Or are you saying that they can't make their own decisions based on input from others? (where did you get your own "decision" from yourself?)

jjblondie

I've moved around a fair bit and have had to find new churches each time. I always recommend going on church websites to decide which ones are worth trying out - you'll be able to see what sort of things they offer other than Sunday services. If they talk about children's groups and have photos of church parties, you're possibly onto a winner. If it doesn't have a website, it is more likely to only be populated by the elderly - not in itself a problem, but it might not have the atmosphere that would be most helpful for you . Good luck!

(Oh, and no-one should mind about a restless toddler, though if it's the middle of the sermon and he's very loud you might want to take him out for a bit. And I wear whatever I like - hotpants, ripped jeans, it doesn't matter)

And re your views: I'm a bisexual liberal feminist and have found acceptance in the church. I wouldn't worry about being shunned - people will be interested in you and if controversial conversations were to arise, though they would probably only do so in a more intellectual setting, people will be interested in your views.

Hermia

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

I'm not strictly religious tbh- I'm a strong feminist and that jars with me, but again, I'd like to try it rather than wonder all my life. Now I'm finally independent of family, isn't it time to explore?

If you don't have a strong religious faith make sure you do your research. Ther churches where I live do seem to expect a strong religious faith. You are expected to join prayer groups and bible study groups and talk about your faith. Church-going friends of mine feel that the churches are moving away from the 'go on Sunday, but never really think about religion the rest of the week' thing I remember from when I was a child (I didn't know any Christians who went to study and prayer groups then).