How does church work?

Torry_Quine

Hermia wrote: »

If you don't have a strong religious faith make sure you do your research. Ther churches where I live do seem to expect a strong religious faith. You are expected to join prayer groups and bible study groups and talk about your faith. Church-going friends of mine feel that the churches are moving away from the 'go on Sunday, but never really think about religion the rest of the week' thing I remember from when I was a child (I didn't know any Christians who went to study and prayer groups then).

No-one is expected to have a strong faith when first going to church and indeed may never become a Christian.

Certainly in my church there are bible study groups but by no means does everyone attend these. For someone who is learing about Christianity and if it's for them a small group can be the perfect place for them as unlike a church service they can ask questions.

Certainly it's not essential to go to any groups or prayer sessions but faith shouldn't ever just be for an hour on Sunday.

coolcait

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

Are you saying that "no religion" is Christian then? Or are you saying that they can't make their own decisions based on input from others? (where did you get your own "decision" from yourself?)

I don't see how you got any of that from the part of sillygoose's post that you quoted:

"Surely screening religion from your child is just as much making their minds up for them as bringing them up a Christians is? smells of hypocrisy to me."

sillygoose

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

Schooling/education. It's part of the curriculum, even at primary level.

It is, but only an awareness, no substitute for experiencing it and meeting people with faith.

Are you saying that "no religion" is Christian then? Or are you saying that they can't make their own decisions based on input from others? (where did you get your own "decision" from yourself?)

You lost me a bit there, I got my own decision by happening to spend time with Christians, they didn't brain wash me but were different, they lived what they believed and I wanted to know more. Then I made my mind up (and more). That can't happen from a national curriculum text book!

You wouldn't buy a car just from the brochure, you would take a test drive, you may still not be convinced its for you but at least your properly informed in your purchase decision.

UsernameAlreadyExists

I thought I might have misread your post (which, clearly I had), hence the question I asked. As it turns out the latter was the correct. i.e. "Or are you saying that they can't make their own decisions based on input from others?"

As in ... if you personally teach them (your kids) nothing ... and instead rely on the state education to being to their awareness the plethora of religions that are available to them, they can't make their own choices in time?

I honestly can't imagine kids going down one route, changing their mind, and then trying something else ... but perhaps that's just me. Muslim for one week, Catholic the week after, and then Sikh the next? Seriously?

Squirrel2000

Churches can seem cliquey and forbidding if you are not used to them but to be honest it is bestto judge on the warmth of the people not the austere nature of the buildings. They all have their own personality based on the outlook of the priest and makeup of the congregation. There is usually a special family service with children in mind, usually Sunday at 10 or 11. If you go to a church and don't feel welcome or don't like the service, try a different church. If children do not join a group during the service, no-one minds if they look at a book or do a drawing during the proceedings. If you feel really brave, go and shake hands with the vicar and ask him to point you towards the play groups, toddler mornings. It is no-one's place to judge you and you are a rational human being so no-one is going to brainwash you. Good luck.

Mrs_Imp

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

How do you manage single parenthood in church? What about my son making noise? Am I even allowed, as a single mum? What about a pushchair? I'm really on my own but I'm really quite scared. I was laughed at for wanting to pray when I was younger, for my pets dying and my grandad dying. I don't want my son feeling that.

I'm not sure what faith. I don't know the dress code- dark jeans ok? I don't even know the hymns! Please can anyone help? And please don't mock my novice approach!

As a single parent you will be welcomed just the same as any other person. You may even find lots of help offered.

My 2 year old often wanders to the front during the service and my 1 month old wails due to colic. No one minds. There is usually a creche anyway if you feel your toddler would be better there. One lady at my church even breast fed during the sermon. I can't quite bring myself to do that though!

Dress code - not naked (unless it's a naturists church!) but otherwise what you like.

Hymns - you'll learn them. When I moved to a new town and a new church I knew none of the hymns, but soon picked them up.

You may need to try several places before you find one that suits you, so don't be put off if you try somewhere that doesn't work for you.

I think that what you're doing is lovely. Lots of people have no knowledge of religion and no idea what to say to people who are religious. There are also lots of people who are anti-religion because they haven't experienced it, so they believe the anti-religious propaganda that's often spouted. You'll be giving your son a better opportunity to decide for himself if he wants to go to church.

fluffnutter

OP, try your local CofE church. I'll probably upset a few people, but stay away from anything non-conformist for the moment, e.g. things that style themselves as family churches and meet at the local school hall on sunday mornings. Stay away from spiritualist churches and the Baptists. This is where you find the more fundamental, bigoted bollox like all gay people should be hanged and the earth's only 4000 years old and Darwin was a heathen and all that.

A nice mainstream church like the CofE is less likely to support all that silliness and instead you'll enjoy a nice singsong once a week, a chat from a bloke in a frock and some tea and cake afterwards.

You, as a single parent, will be more than welcome, as will your toddler and his pushchair (space depending you might have to fold it and leave it at the back or whatever). Many churches have creches for the little ones for part of the service so once you've found your feet you could ask about this. You can wear what you like, and it doesn't matter if you don't know the songs. Vicars are really approachable and tend to hang around at the end of the service shaking hands with people. This is a great opportunity to just blurt out 'I'm new. I'd like to find out about the church and join your congregation'. He or she should be more than willing to help and advise.

Enjoy!

fluffnutter

You might find this useful.

http://www.alpha.org/

gingin_2

My parents are the main event organisers of their church and they are forever trying to appeal to young families. My mother seems to always be buying sausages to make hotdogs for events, or making fairy cakes, or planning treasure hunts. They still can't attract as many as they wish, I'm sure you would be welcomed with open arms and if you aren't then try another.

My children's school church also has a table at the back of the church where children can colour and play at in view of their parents. Children are always wandering around.

I am also considering starting up going to church again with just my daughter. I don't have a strong faith but I know some of my neighbours go and I see it as also a community as well as a religious thing.

Gloomendoom

fluffnutter wrote: »

A nice mainstream church like the CofE is less likely to support all that silliness and instead you'll enjoy a nice singsong once a week, a chat from a bloke in a frock and some tea and cake afterwards.

Or a woman in a frock. Our vicar is a lady, as was her predecessor.