How does church work?

Savvy_Sue

As you have a toddler, I'd suggest seeing what local toddler groups there are which are run in church halls. Not all will be firmly connected to the church, but many will. Ask around and see who attends the church, say you've been wondering about coming along too, and then you've got someone to go with - AND ask all the questions beforehand.

cannyscot_2

I know exactly what you mean -having been brought up in one way I started to attend a more modern church which has a todller group attached and a great creche right next door-for some parts the kids just play on the mat at your feet with toys-so pretty relaxed. However-they just assumed you knew when to stand up/when to sit down etc - I found it quite perplexing! but tbh they were all very welcoming and I have got a lot out of it and there is no obligation -you can just come and go as you please. So find somewhere relaxed with a toddler group and creche and try it out. No one tried to brain wash me !

Gloomendoom

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

But from her own admission, she wasn't brought up that way herself so what of her own toddlers choices?

Presumably, her toddler will grow up and have a brain of her own with which to make choices.

wiggywoo9

I appreciate that he has a choice too and I'm perfectly fine with that. I just want to see if I was missing anything, as I feel I did when I was a kid, it'd be nice to have something to say, yeah, tried that, but not my thing, at least? Rather then, hmm, maybe, but I'm afraid mummy will laugh at me/I'd be the odd one out?
I'm not strictly religious tbh- I'm a strong feminist and that jars with me, but again, I'd like to try it rather than wonder all my life. Now I'm finally independent of family, isn't it time to explore?

suki1964

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

Probably not, but then I am not religious. I am very mindful of people impressing it upon others though.
What I read from the post was a single Mum missing something in her life. Perhaps church maybe the answer - for her, and I accept that. But from her own admission, she wasn't brought up that way herself so what of her own toddlers choices?

I'm sure once the toddler can understand better then toddler will be grown enough to make its own choices

From a mixed marriage , we kids were taken to CofE services as part of brownie and guides services. Yet as adults we have found our own way, I'm still a free spirit and attend and appreciate most faiths, elder sister is Muslim and younger is catholic

UsernameAlreadyExists

suki1964 wrote: »

Btw. Here as in so many parts of rural Britain everything revolves about the church. You don't have to be religious to be welcomed, nor is religion forced down your throat

In my own limited experience, there can be just as much in- fighting and acceptance issues in church as in any other walk of life. If your face doesn't fit, you'll not be made to feel welcome. If you don't like the way things are run, you'll be an outcast. At the end of the day, if you take "god" out of it, you're a bunch of people all trying to get along, and do "right" for the community ... so long as it is in the way that the dominant/controlling people desire
I'll take my cynicism elsewhere, sorry for sticking my unwelcomed nose in

coolcait

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

Probably not, but then I am not religious. I am very mindful of people impressing it upon others though.
What I read from the post was a single Mum missing something in her life. Perhaps church maybe the answer - for her, and I accept that. But from her own admission, she wasn't brought up that way herself so what of her own toddlers choices?

If the OP finds that she is drawn to a particular church to the extent that she believes in their message, she can tell her child "this is what mummy believes, but other people believe different things. You should follow your own beliefs - it doesn't matter if they are different from mine".

If the OP finds that she settles in a church community, without sharing everything they believe, she can tell her child "I don't share all these beliefs, but I am happy in this community. You should follow your own beliefs, etc, etc."

IMO, that's what any parent should tell their child. "You should follow your own beliefs".

This includes those who have no religious beliefs.

To echo your phrasing, those parents should not impress their own views on their children, and should be aware of their children's own choices.

Mankysteve

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

Are you wanting to push religion onto you own toddler? Or are you looking for social interaction?

If you need to "find god", then so be it, but don't use your toddler as an excuse to!

I think its a valid point. There other options than exposing your child to group well known for not looking after children properly, there lots of non religious organizations out there everything from book clubs to parent and toddler groups.

Mrs_Bones

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

Probably not, but then I am not religious. I am very mindful of people impressing it upon others though.
What I read from the post was a single Mum missing something in her life. Perhaps church maybe the answer - for her, and I accept that. But from her own admission, she wasn't brought up that way herself so what of her own toddlers choices?

I was christened, went to Sunday school, attended schools where religion still played a part in daily routine etc but I didn't end up brainwashed. Children are a lot sturdier in thought then many people give them credit for. Many enjoy the fun actives when they are growing up and as so much of this nations history is based on a Christian heritage it does no harm in them learning about it. Like me though many as they get older decided the faith isn't for them and either find another or lose interest in faith all together.

The OP will be doing no harm in taking her toddler along, even if she finds the church is not for her either it does no harm in learning what other people believe and think. There are many people in this world, the more tolerance and understanding there is, the better we mostly get along. It's much better to keep a mind open then slam it shut.

coolcait

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

In my own limited experience, there can be just as much in- fighting and acceptance issues in church as in any other walk of life. If your face doesn't fit, you'll not be made to feel welcome. If you don't like the way things are run, you'll be an outcast. At the end of the day, if you take "god" out of it, you're a bunch of people all trying to get along, and do "right" for the community ... so long as it is in the way that the dominant/controlling people desire
I'll take my cynicism elsewhere, sorry for sticking my unwelcomed nose in

Why the BiB?

Cynicism abounds on these boards. So does disagreement.

That doesn't mean that either is 'unwelcome'.

You can apply the above to any other community - religion, work, groups of friends and many more.