Giving and not receiving - bit of a rant

Stephb1986_2

I'd just send a card wouldn't bother with presents or money anymore, why should you think of his kid when he doesn't think of yours.

TBH me and h2b face this every birthday and Christmas. We always bother to buy for OH's dad (he lives with OH at the moment) he will ask us for what ever and we will buy it. For the last 3 years he hasn't bothered with any of our birthdays or Christmas. But this year he decided to bother with OH's sister and her kids for Christmas but not us when OH supports him all year round and puts a roof over his head. Annoyed isn't the word.

bagpussbear

They obviously don't want to do the present thing with the kids, though it is cheeky to say about the itunes voucher for their son, they could have said not to worry about getting anything. (edited to say sorry, didn't realise your very first post was from earlier in the year!)

If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't buy any more, just do cards. You can't be disappointed or upset if you have no expectations about it. Otherwise this will be an issues year after year.

Anacrusis

My brother never gets my kids anything for their birthdays and they only just started to notice in the last couple of years (early teens) They don't seem to mind! I still like to get something for my niece & nephew but we spend up to £10ish on family presents usually so maybe I would feel differently about £25 not being reciprocated...

fawd1

If it makes you feel better, my DH was given by his parents this year, a PS3 game, a jumper, and a beer drinking hat. No shame in that, I hear you say, and I would agree. But, his sister, at the same family gathering, was given 2 jumpers, a pair of trousers, a spa day voucher and then £1K. Now this is the sister that the parents complain about because she constantly takes advantage. So far, they have babysat for her children twice a week for the last 4 years, and mine 3 times in the last 5 years. Her kids have been taken to peppa pig world twice and eurodisney for a long weekend, not counting the weekends they have them at home (which as it turns out has been about 15 in the last year).
One of my children went to peppa pig world once. You may ask if my kids are really badly behaved, but apparently not. My MIL keeps telling me how much easier they are than my nephews, but they wont do anything to upset my SIL. So much so, they gave my kids their christmas presents a day early so that SILs kids didn't get jealous and act up. My kids just had to suck it up when they watched their cousins getting ten times more gifts than them.

Takeaway_Addict

fawd1 wrote: »

If it makes you feel better, my DH was given by his parents this year, a PS3 game, a jumper, and a beer drinking hat. No shame in that, I hear you say, and I would agree. But, his sister, at the same family gathering, was given 2 jumpers, a pair of trousers, a spa day voucher and then £1K. Now this is the sister that the parents complain about because she constantly takes advantage. So far, they have babysat for her children twice a week for the last 4 years, and mine 3 times in the last 5 years. Her kids have been taken to peppa pig world twice and eurodisney for a long weekend, not counting the weekends they have them at home (which as it turns out has been about 15 in the last year).
One of my children went to peppa pig world once. You may ask if my kids are really badly behaved, but apparently not. My MIL keeps telling me how much easier they are than my nephews, but they wont do anything to upset my SIL. So much so, they gave my kids their christmas presents a day early so that SILs kids didn't get jealous and act up. My kids just had to suck it up when they watched their cousins getting ten times more gifts than them.

have you got him to ask why?

fawd1

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

have you got him to ask why?

God knows I've tried but my DH is very non confrontational and adores his parents, so much so he spends an hour a day there before work and we have them for dinner at least once a week. Now, if it were my parents, the conversation would have begun the minute the card with 1k in it got given out, but that's my family, we scream and shout and get all arguments sorted out in half an hour. Plus, under no circumstances would my parents have ever done anything like that

becominganobsessivesaver

fawd1 wrote: »

If it makes you feel better, my DH was given by his parents this year, a PS3 game, a jumper, and a beer drinking hat. No shame in that, I hear you say, and I would agree. But, his sister, at the same family gathering, was given 2 jumpers, a pair of trousers, a spa day voucher and then £1K. Now this is the sister that the parents complain about because she constantly takes advantage. So far, they have babysat for her children twice a week for the last 4 years, and mine 3 times in the last 5 years. Her kids have been taken to peppa pig world twice and eurodisney for a long weekend, not counting the weekends they have them at home (which as it turns out has been about 15 in the last year).
One of my children went to peppa pig world once. You may ask if my kids are really badly behaved, but apparently not. My MIL keeps telling me how much easier they are than my nephews, but they wont do anything to upset my SIL. So much so, they gave my kids their christmas presents a day early so that SILs kids didn't get jealous and act up. My kids just had to suck it up when they watched their cousins getting ten times more gifts than them.

Awful! How much easier was life pre-in-laws?!!

Stephb1986_2

fawd1 wrote: »

God knows I've tried but my DH is very non confrontational and adores his parents, so much so he spends an hour a day there before work and we have them for dinner at least once a week. Now, if it were my parents, the conversation would have begun the minute the card with 1k in it got given out, but that's my family, we scream and shout and get all arguments sorted out in half an hour. Plus, under no circumstances would my parents have ever done anything like that

We could be the same person and have the same OH lol

Twisted_Cherry

If it bothers you so much don't buy for them, they will get the message eventually! Best friend has a friend (who I know also but am no longer in touch with) every birthday, wife's birthday and there twins he phones up... almost as if to say 'Didn't get a card off you...' Never bothers any other time... I'd be inclined to put the phone down on someone like that!

Lequirk_2

I would choose a really nice card for your nephew, but the present buying would stop ASAP. His parents are not stupid, they know and don't care that they are not buying for your children. That speaks volumes to me. I think there are various ways to show your nephew that you care for him that don't involve you spending money on him.