Teenage son question....

seven-day-weekend

Is his dad around? Or some other trusted male?

If so, let them have a word.

I wouldn't have wanted my dad or brother-in-law to talk to me about periods. You need someone who's the same as you!

Queenie

southernscouser wrote: »

What I find quite interesting so far is that it seems women tend to adopt the book buying approach, whereas men say let them get on with it! :think:

Now I'm not saying the men are right and the women aren't. At the end of the day you know your kids and it comes down to the individual. But, men know what it's like to be a teenage boy. The thought of my mum giving me a book on mass debating or whatever makes me shudder now! :rotfl:

You know teenage boys do it. Teenage boys know their parents know you do it. But it's an unwritten law that parents pretend they know nowt.

Ah, now I can give you a couple of examples as to why having books around are great!!!

1) As you quite rightly say: men *know* what it's like to be a teenage boy - *I* don't We're in a world where many women are bringing up lads on their own.

2) When my (now 23yo) came to me at the age of 11 and asked what a 69 was, I asked him what he *thought* it was - trust me, that kind of playground misconception is what you wouldn't want your child believing! Actually, as delicately and age appropriately as I could, I did explain ... he told me my version was disgusting and I was wrong :laugh: By the time he was 16yo, he came to me and said: "Thanks for being you and always being honest. My mates wish they had that openess with their parents".

3) The books my lads have explain what it's like to be a teenage girl (something they will never experience) so there's a great balance there which I hope will give them due respect for themselves *and* any girlfriends they have.

4) I trusted their Dad to teach them how to do "male" things - keeping clean etc. One of my sons experienced a very nasty problem because he *hadn't* been taught how to clean himself properly and then he had to come to me! Fortunately, because we can talk openly, he wasn't too embarassed to come to me about it and it's all be sorted. (No, I'm not talking STD either!)

5) Knowledge is empowering and confidence building. I would rather my lads grew up to have confidence in their bodies and not to be embarassed. Some things they will *never* come to me and discuss, that's right and proper, but I'd hate to think of them worrying about something which is normal, doesn't make you blind, won't drop off through too much use, isn't "disgusting" and someone needs to let them know that - if not me, or their Dad, then why not a book, written by men for developing young men?

6) Finally, so they don't end up their Dad!!!! :silenced:

mclaren_2

top shelf mag....... lol (actually - sometimes, this might not be so bad an idea...... okay, not that kinda mag but you know what i mean, if he ... ya know, plays)

best way to approach this situation is not to be embaraced yourself. You can either just come out with it, be frank and just blurt it out. He will be embaraced and prob run away BUT he will then know you know, and then might start to come around (no pun)

OR, you could just ignore it and pretend you dont see it. Later on, when he has sex ed, he will get to know about it - you can if you want tell him, or show him some websites on sex ed (google it) but either blurt it out or forget about it.

It depends on how sensitive he is i suppose.

Being honest though i think is prob more important.

You could also just sit him down, tell him what you think, tell him not to be embaraced and explain things..... but not blurting it out, but being sensitivbe

OR you could write a letter to him, and get him to read it in private - that way he wont be so embaraced?

Sorry i cant be more helpful - good luck

victory

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Is his dad around? Or some other trusted male?

If so, let them have a word.

I wouldn't have wanted my dad or brother-in-law to talk to me about periods. You need someone who's the same as you!

Yes his dad is here but he has decided the best thing to do is to not mention it, to make out it never happened and to let 'the lad get on with it' so that leaves me to talk to him;) I know what you mean about not wanting the different sex person talk about it but sometimes it has to be that way, I don't blame my H as he is over his head (dealing with problems is not his forte and this one is beyond him!!)

It has been sorted now, he has the tissues, he will get the books like queenie recommended, thanks queenie and I have told him that whatever he needs to know then he can talk to me or write it down and I will get back to him.

There has been some fabulous ideas on this thread, what I did not want to do was embarass him, frighten him off to never want to speak about it, for him to feel weird, alone or not know what is going on and with all the bits and pieces I have gathered from this thread I reckon it has been well covered and he is o.k about it and feels normal.

Lesley998

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it wrote: »

Some of these comments have convinced me not to have a BOY, not that we get a choice...LOL

Hmmmm. I once heard a saying...'when you have a boy, you've only got one willy to worry about. When you got a girl....you've got LOADS of willies to worry about!!!'

Give me a boy anyday

Rhyburgh

Hmmmm. I once heard a saying...'when you have a boy, you've only got one willy to worry about. When you got a girl....you've got LOADS of willies to worry about!!!'

Give me a boy anyday


Read that and and was thankful that I have a son! Then remembered that I have 2 daughters! On no.

Jo6673

victory wrote: »

Boys are lovely, son just gone to bed and he stood up, went to leave the room, turned round and said I love you mum, you know that don't you? Ahhhhhhh!! I love him too loads so at least now I know no damage has been made by our little chat!!

That is what I was trying to avoid, son feeling alone because when I was 12 , came on, mum told me nothing so thought I was actually dying!!:eek:

Oh bless- see.. all water under the bridge now!

blue_haddock

victory wrote: »

My son has started getting up in the mornings with the morning glory, he is embarrassed, so am I, is there any books that anyone can recommend,

Well i'd recommend penthouse or playboy!

before_hollywood

blue_haddock wrote: »

Well i'd recommend penthouse or playboy!

but getting them from your parents? :eek:

back on topic and a bit more serious, your son is going to get embarassed, he's a teenager he's got a lot more embarrasment to deal with too. personally i would leave him a bit to his own devices (i know that sounds bad) but what i mean is give him the chance to get himself up for school at an appropriate time (taking into consideration catching a school bus or however he gets there) and not walking into his room unannounced usually does the trick too. if his dad is around, a blokey chat (nothing too serious) about one of the men's curses should do the trick, if not does he have an older male rolemodel (older brother, uncle, something like that?), chances are they are going to be talking about it at school

pulliptears

I guess Im quite lucky in the fact DS and I can talk about pretty much anything. he is 14 now and tends to forget he has a rather nosey 9 year old sister. I think our conversation went along the lines of:

Me: "Thomas, you are pointing at me, and if your sister see's you she will make your life hell"

Tom: "gahhh!" door closed.

And that was that really. We had a funny moment last night watching that "too much too young" prog on ITV. I decided that would be a good time to ask him if everything was ok and to tell him that while I dont agree with sex at his age he must come to me and ask if he needs a "Little rubber friend". Cue teenager falling off the sofa in hysterics and replying that should he require a "condom", which by the way he says he wont for the forseeable, he will ask!!!!!