Elderly disabled Dad - laundry services?

Mowie

Did you say your Dad was in Pontypridd? If so what about this place http://www.yell.com/b/Cans+Launderette-Launderettes-pontypridd-CF381LB-7347922/

Cans Launderette
Unit 7 Cardigan Close, Pontypridd, Mid Glamorgan, CF38 1LB
Tel: 01443 218226

The company that always says "Can do!" to all your laundry needs!

We are a family run business with a combined 20 years experience in the launderette industry. Our company ethos is based on a fun, friendly approach with a highly expertised service for our clients.

We can provide you with our highly regarded ironing, washing & drying , dry cleaning & alteration, sports kit cleaning and curtain cleaning services to our local area.

There is a FREE collection & delivery service available too.

We know that you may have some doubts about letting someone else do your ironing or laundry and we can completely sympathise with you.

To ease your mind we are the only company, that we are aware of, that offer you a complete 100% refund on your service if you are not completely satisfied with the high quality finish and speed of our services. All you have to do is tell us when you next pop in or when we next collect from you.

So what have you got to lose? Why not ring us today to book in your ironing or arrange a FREE collection & delivery service?

Services and products

Ironing servicesService Wash & DryDuvet cleaningDry cleaningClothing alterations & repairsBed linen cleaned & IronedCurtains (machine washable) cleaned & pressedSleeping bags cleanedSuits PressedSelf Service customers welcomeSports Kits cleanedWedding Dresses & Ball Gowns Dry Cleaned

Pitlanepiglet

Mum in law has a local lady who comes in and does a bit of cleaning and washes her clothes for her. As well as dealing with he laundry this lady has become a nice friend for her (she moved areas so doesn't know many people) and gives her some company that isn't family - it's been very good for her.

OH picks up her bedding on a weekly basis (her evening carers change her bed once a week) and washes it here before returning it to her a few days later - she doesn't have space to easily dry bedding so it's easier for us to do it. She is more comfortable with her new friend doing her clothes though.

MiL gets attendance allowance so uses some of that payment to pay the lady who comes in.

Brallaqueen

I'm goping to go against the grain and say - let him do what he wants. Make it clear that you will not do x,y and z, and leave the rest up to him. He's obviously old enough to know his own mind and if he wants to wear grubby handwashed stuff, let him away with it. The healtrh issue is not helping but that's his choice.

You may find that he will come round to it once it is his idea IYSWIM, not your idea that he has to go along with.

Gingernutty

Would he tolerate a washing machine in the [STRIKE]house/garden shed[/STRIKE] if someone else used it for him while they were visiting?

Sorry, just re-read your first post - he lives in a flat.

[Deleted User]

j.e.j. wrote: »

There's no easy answer, I'm afraid. You cannot be expected to travel 40+ miles to pick up his washing. And why should the girlfriend of his other son be lumbered with his washing? Seems a bit cheeky!

It is difficult, I remember my ex F-i-L being like this. It was embarrassing, his clothes were dirty and on one occasion people even commented when we went out that he'd got a big stain on his jacket! But it was impossible to reason with him. He wouldn't buy a washing-machine. Like your dad he wanted other people to drop everything and do it all for him. It never occurred to him that 1) we lived miles away, 2) we didn't even drive(!) and 3) we had our own lives to live and while we didn't mind helping out, we didn't want to be trekking back and forth all the time with his washing!

I would ask social services, I think. Your dad might be able to wash small items by hand, but there's no way an elderly person should be washing towels and bedding, etc. I've washed stuff by hand before, when I didn't have a machine, and it's so hard to wring the water out of heavier items. I have a feeling, though, even if social services do get involved your dad may well tell them he doesn't need any help and is managing fine, in which case they'll not do anything anyway

I think you and your brother are going to have to get assertive with him..

Sounds very similar to be honest. I despair sometimes that he won't even allow me to sort something out to make his life easier - thats the worse thing. Theres just no need to be like this.

Hand washing isn't great. And he struggles to do it. Towels and bedding he just doesn't wash unless someone does for him.

And don't get me started about the stairs in his flat - hes got a front door at ground level but living room 1st floor, bedroom 2nd floor. Trying to get him to realise in time hes going to need a chairlift.

Brother more of a hindrance than a help. Can't even look after himself so hes no good with Dad. All he does is get himself in debt and sponge money....

[Deleted User]

Time to look at this again. Brother has (Again) split up with girlfriend and decided to move back in with Dad. So thats two of them who've got no-one to do their washing now!

Had a word with him - hes adamant that no way is he spending his money on a washing machine. Even though I pointed out that he had enough money sitting in his account to buy 100 washing machines.

Hes really hinting now that he needs to get someone to do his washing. Wife is now even more ill - shes got a baby to look after also. At the moment, we have to pay for someone to clean and her mother comes over to help 2-3 days a week. Otherwise, I'd have to give up working to look after her.

So, there is no way in a million years we can do his washing for him at the moment.

Part of the problem initally was his sister said she'd do his washing. Of course, when I was trying to get him to do something for himself she didnt help by saying no its ok I'll do it - I dont mind. That was 20 years ago! Shes too old now and makes excuses not to. Thanks for that one.

I'm thinking portable washing machine to be honest. Better than hand washing at least. He has got a small kitchen so theres no room for a full size.

I did think about laundry services but I know he wont pay it. Even if I paid he'd go mad. He has no grip on reality where money is concerned.

I go away with him once a year for the weekend. Its a constant battle to get him to accept how much things cost. He constantly won't spend or wants the cheapest.

A few years ago he nagged me not to go overboard on hotel costs. So I gave in and found one for £28 a night. He moaned that was too much and expected it be under a tenner a night!

Mojisola

[quote=[Deleted User];65513004]
So thats two of them who've got no-one to do their washing now!

Had a word with him - hes adamant that no way is he spending his money on a washing machine. Even though I pointed out that he had enough money sitting in his account to buy 100 washing machines.

Hes really hinting now that he needs to get someone to do his washing.

I did think about laundry services but I know he wont pay it. Even if I paid he'd go mad. He has no grip on reality where money is concerned.[/QUOTE]

Is this a case where tough love is needed? Leave the two of them to themselves until they don't have anything clean to wear and give them the options - a washing machine or a laundry service.

It's very unfair of them to give you this extra stress when you've got such a lot going on with your own family.

elsien

Completely agree with Mojisola.
My grandmother hand washed her clothes (every morning), sheets and towels till she was in her late eighties, was always adamant she didn't want a washing machine, couldn't see the point, they didn't get the clothes clean etc etc.
Until she had no choice due to age and frailty. My dad got one installed (under protest), helped her use it once or twice, then she was on a roll and secretly appreciative although she'd never admit it. And this from a woman who was such a technophobe she never graduated from a record player to a cassette player or anything more technologically advanced.
Help them sort out a counter top one, dump it there, show them how to use it and let them get on with it. Either way he's going to have to pay out, whether he buys a machine, pays someone himself to do it, or pays social services for the pleasure of arranging it. Get him some figures to show how much it will cost to have it done vs the cost of a small machine, continue to make it clear that you doing it for him is not a option, then let him make his own decision.
I think part of the problem might be that once things get to a certain stage of smelliness and grubbiness people don't realise how bad it's got because they get used to it. Unless someone, (or several someones) tells them.

Mojisola

[quote=[Deleted User];65513004]
Had a word with him - hes adamant that no way is he spending his money on a washing machine.

Hes really hinting now that he needs to get someone to do his washing.[/QUOTE]

On a couple of occasions I had to have a word with my parents along the lines of "By refusing to do X or Y, you're not being fair to me. You can't manage these things yourselves any more but you won't do the simple thing that will make your life easier".

He's hinting he needs "someone" to do his washing - well, what is that someone going to do - put it in a washing machine they have spent money on!

margaretclare

I haven't read the whole thread, sorry. But really, my blood boils at the thought of this man being willing to allow anyone to do his washing - his sister, the OP's wife, someone's girl-friend - and to run around fetching and carrying it for him. In other words, any woman will do! He has money but won't spend it on taxis - well, of course he won't so long as someone is willing to spend time and money from a distance jumping when he says 'jump'!

As we get older we do find we pay people to do things for us which we used to do for ourselves, with ease. Cleaning windows, gardening...and if this man hadn't been mollycoddled by his sister all those years - all right, she was well-meaning, heart in the right place and he took advantage - maybe he would have thought of this before and done something about it.