Elderly disabled Dad - laundry services?

Maz

Does your Dad have any care on a regular basis from care agencies or similar?

lolly_896

Totally assuming your Welsh!? If your Dad is in Cardiff i can recommend some services? Although they are not free, they are extremely reasonable and offer a delivery and collection service?

[Deleted User]

lolly_896 wrote: »

Totally assuming your Welsh!? If your Dad is in Cardiff i can recommend some services? Although they are not free, they are extremely reasonable and offer a delivery and collection service?

Not far from Cardiff - Pontypridd.

pigpen

[quote=[Deleted User];59669165]

I'll gladly pay for washing machine, someone to do his washing etc. but its not practical for me to trek over 45 mins each way to collect/drop off then expect my wife to do it when I'm away with work.[/QUOTE]

Have you asked your wife?

I wouldn't think twice about doing my outlaws washing.. I'd probably have suggested it myself before now. It is starting to sound like you are looking for any excuse to palm the task off on anyone to avoid doing it yourself, which I am sure you don't mean.

If you pick up a basket and put it in the car it doesn't matter if you live 4 or 45 miles away.. especially if it is a visit you make anyway.

Why not get him a machine installed and when you or your brother visit you can pop a load in and your dad can hang it up to dry.. handwashing he is doing this already, a quick wash is about half an hour so you could maybe get 2 or 3 loads done in one visit.

[Deleted User]

pigpen wrote: »

Have you asked your wife?

I wouldn't think twice about doing my outlaws washing.. I'd probably have suggested it myself before now. It is starting to sound like you are looking for any excuse to palm the task off on anyone to avoid doing it yourself, which I am sure you don't mean.

If you pick up a basket and put it in the car it doesn't matter if you live 4 or 45 miles away.. especially if it is a visit you make anyway.

Why not get him a machine installed and when you or your brother visit you can pop a load in and your dad can hang it up to dry.. handwashing he is doing this already, a quick wash is about half an hour so you could maybe get 2 or 3 loads done in one visit.

Not fair to ask my wife. Shes got 2 jobs, pregnant, another child to look after and very ill at the moment.

Thats just it - I can't always visit on a regular basis...

I've got no problem paying for washing machine - that might be a plan. Trouble is hes going to moan about it.

pigpen

Is he one of those who likes to have something to moan about though?

I would check my mother was alive if the moaning stopped lol.

He will see it as sneaking it into his home but sometimes you just have to ignore the moaning and do stuff anyway. you could always make out it was your old one

[Deleted User]

pigpen wrote: »

Is he one of those who likes to have something to moan about though?

I would check my mother was alive if the moaning stopped lol.

He will see it as sneaking it into his home but sometimes you just have to ignore the moaning and do stuff anyway. you could always make out it was your old one

Likes to moan a lot. Worse bit is that he won't do things or let others do things to make life easier for himself.

And like I said, I've got no idea what exactly hes keeping hold of his money for....

pigpen

[quote=[Deleted User];59687215]Likes to moan a lot. Worse bit is that he won't do things or let others do things to make life easier for himself.

And like I said, I've got no idea what exactly hes keeping hold of his money for....[/QUOTE]

Yep, sounds like my mother! lol.. we have delegated our youngest sister to stay at home, be a spinster and look after her when she old and a total PITA and even more cantankerous than she is at the moment.. we will miss them when they are gone!.

I'd get one installed, say you can all do his washing then and he can glare it when you aren't looking (and will no doubt do his washing when you aren't there) Tell him it is to make it easier for you and your brother and your respective ladies.

j.e.j.

There's no easy answer, I'm afraid. You cannot be expected to travel 40+ miles to pick up his washing. And why should the girlfriend of his other son be lumbered with his washing? Seems a bit cheeky!

It is difficult, I remember my ex F-i-L being like this. It was embarrassing, his clothes were dirty and on one occasion people even commented when we went out that he'd got a big stain on his jacket! But it was impossible to reason with him. He wouldn't buy a washing-machine. Like your dad he wanted other people to drop everything and do it all for him. It never occurred to him that 1) we lived miles away, 2) we didn't even drive(!) and 3) we had our own lives to live and while we didn't mind helping out, we didn't want to be trekking back and forth all the time with his washing!

I would ask social services, I think. Your dad might be able to wash small items by hand, but there's no way an elderly person should be washing towels and bedding, etc. I've washed stuff by hand before, when I didn't have a machine, and it's so hard to wring the water out of heavier items. I have a feeling, though, even if social services do get involved your dad may well tell them he doesn't need any help and is managing fine, in which case they'll not do anything anyway

I think you and your brother are going to have to get assertive with him..

carefullycautious

I may have answered on your last post as my dad was just the same. I ended up doing it till his death as I could not bear the thought of him being in dirty clothes.

He would ring me if I was late picking the laundry up. It nearly drove me mad.

He would not have a cooker either and that's another story. A nightmare to deal with so I can only sympathise