Elderly disabled Dad - laundry services?

[Deleted User]

suki1001 wrote: »

If he's happy to hand wash everything, then do you really need to change things?

Has he actually complained to you about having to handwash, or is it just your opinion?

I would say unless it's causing him a problem, let him carry on.

Thats just it - I've seen some of his clothes and they're not clean. In fact, hes starting to look a bit grubby.

Not convinced that handwashing is that great.

The other thing is hes not really physically able to do so. It makes him tired. Hes disabled and cant walk far so standing over a sink washing clothes is not ideal.

But he can't see that and would rather save the money I guess... :-(

[Deleted User]

victory wrote: »

Yes I remember this being posted before....

Yeh. Its an issue again. Brothers girlfriend did it for last few years but they split up now.

Brother is with new partner now (for last two weeks) and has sort of moved in with her. (Dont even get involved with his life!).
Dad has asked brother to ask this new woman to wash his clothes - hes never even met her!!!!

Got to sort something out....

CH27

I would just do it myself.
It's not that difficult to do one or two washes a week or stick it in with your washing.

Does he have enough clothes & underwear to last two weeks?

I did this with my grandad for several years & it worked well.

suki1001

[quote=[Deleted User];59661923]Thats just it - I've seen some of his clothes and they're not clean. In fact, hes starting to look a bit grubby.

Not convinced that handwashing is that great.

The other thing is hes not really physically able to do so. It makes him tired. Hes disabled and cant walk far so standing over a sink washing clothes is not ideal.

But he can't see that and would rather save the money I guess... :-([/QUOTE]

What about a compromise - once a fortnight say? So he can still do some handwashing it he wants to?

[Deleted User]

CH27 wrote: »

I would just do it myself.
It's not that difficult to do one or two washes a week or stick it in with your washing.

Does he have enough clothes & underwear to last two weeks?

I did this with my grandad for several years & it worked well.

Not really practical. I would do if I lived closer but I live 45 mins away so its not every weekend I can get there.

I work long hours, away from home a lot so I dont have much time. And I'm not asking wife who's ill at the moment, and pregnant to do it. Its just not fair to do that when there are potentially easier options for everyone involved.

Tryingagainandagain

Is there some reason why your brother cannot do it himself?

Why did he not just take over when he and his girlfriend split up?

CH27

[quote=[Deleted User];59667283]Not really practical. I would do if I lived closer but I live 45 mins away so its not every weekend I can get there.

I work long hours, away from home a lot so I dont have much time. And I'm not asking wife who's ill at the moment, and pregnant to do it. Its just not fair to do that when there are potentially easier options for everyone involved.[/QUOTE]

Well you've been looking for a while so maybe there is no easier option.

mazza111

Think it might be time to sit him down and have a serious chat with him to the options that are available to him. Maybe his eyesight is a bit dodgy and he doesn't see the clothes as being grubby (I'm terrible for missing stains and don't see them until I'm wearing them). Explain to him that SS could maybe take his washing away for him and bring it back all folded for a small cost. It's hard for the older generation of men to accept help, my dad was the same. He finally accepted help in the final month of his life and it made a huge difference to him. But us girls had softened him up before the OT came to visit

[Deleted User]

Tryingagainandagain wrote: »

Is there some reason why your brother cannot do it himself?

Why did he not just take over when he and his girlfriend split up?

Because he moved out of girlfriends house. Now living with this other woman - he doesnt have his own place.

[Deleted User]

mazza111 wrote: »

Think it might be time to sit him down and have a serious chat with him to the options that are available to him. Maybe his eyesight is a bit dodgy and he doesn't see the clothes as being grubby (I'm terrible for missing stains and don't see them until I'm wearing them). Explain to him that SS could maybe take his washing away for him and bring it back all folded for a small cost. It's hard for the older generation of men to accept help, my dad was the same. He finally accepted help in the final month of his life and it made a huge difference to him. But us girls had softened him up before the OT came to visit

Is definitely hard. He cooks for himself, does everything else but has got a bit of a mental block when it comes to clothes washing.

In the past, in emergency, I've done it for him and hes looked a bit startled when I said actually dad I was the one who bunged it in the machine rather than wife! dunno why he thinks its rocket science only to be done by the female of the species....

Like I said, I'll do anything for my Dad but hes got to realise that some things need to be sorted out to make life easier for himself. No good having money in the bank and struggling but he just doesnt see this.

Hes difficult to talk to. If I try to talk to him about it I get the 'oh well if you won't just do one thing for me speech' I'll manage on my own.

I'll gladly pay for washing machine, someone to do his washing etc. but its not practical for me to trek over 45 mins each way to collect/drop off then expect my wife to do it when I'm away with work.