MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

Gillyx

Just a quick one from me, again I am reading but just not getting a chance to comment. Been Ebay-ing every evening since Saturday. Almost 50 items listed along with my sanity I think.

Anyway just to say to those struggling at the moment, it is not easy, I to had a high needs baby, brought on by an undiagnosed milk intolerance, but he also had reflux and awful bottom wind. We co-slept and he'd only nap in my arms, because of the co-sleeping I couldn't sleep soundly and he fed every 2 hours in the day and every 3 hours at night, so I was literally attached to him, ALL the time. He wouldn't go into a bouncer/swing/pram/cot, anything without screaming the place down, I used to eat my breakfast with him strapped to me in the carrier, dropping weetabix onto his head. I hated that I'd had him, I honestly felt like I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. At night when he cried, I used to hold the pillow over my head and cry while my OH would shush and rock him. I have never felt as down and as sad in all of my life.

I hated that the doctors told me it would get easier, in a few months he'd be better, and it used to fill me with rage as I'd say BUT WHAT ABOUT NOW?!? In fact everyone I met would say cheerily 'oh it'l get better' and I seriously wanted to punch them in the face, as they didn't know how I felt.

But believe me it DOES get better, one day you wake up and you find yourself not dreading the day, you don't notice it happening but it just happens and you start to feel more organised, you get to know your baby more, they get older and more comfortable with there surroundings so mellow out slightly. Don't try to be a perfect parent, there really isn't such a thing, we all make mistakes and do silly things from time to time. Make sure babe is fed, you are eating when you can. If baby cries, put him/her down to make food, you cannot starve and 5 mins while toast cooks or you wolf down a bowl of cereal will not damage them in anyway, not eating will damage you. If the weather allows do get out, even a 30 minute walk a day makes you feel so much better, even now at 15 months it really helps me.

At the moment I am being tested in ways I never even knew a 15 month old could inflict. I wake up in the morning and I am not happy about the day ahead, everything is a battle and screaming takes up about 75% of my day if not more, but I know this too shall pass, the way that we have got through it in the past.

Hang in there ladies, the joy they bring does help outweigh the terror they create.

Apologies for those who have read this from me before.

Also you are NEVER a failure, you are learning, and getting to know your new baby as they are with you. Becoming a parent is a steep learning curve, for everyone, even those with 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies as they're all so different.

Massive hugs to anyone who needs them at the moment. xx

sunshine_1988

Hello ladies

I would second Gillys comments. I had a demanding baby too. He had reflux and colic. Whilst the reflux was controlled with meds, I didnt find a magic cure for colic - dentinox drops were the best thing here (we ff) but I know it doesnt work for all, I think with colic you just have to ride it out. My boy had what we called 'colic o'clock' around 11am-1pm and then 6pm onwards, we couldnt set a bedtime routine for ages as he would continually scream until 11pmish and sometimes later. I remember we had a midwife visit at 2wks old and until she saw him screaming when that time came, she didnt believe he could have colic so young.

You do need to make sure you have some food in you though. I know its hard, I used to spend days sat on the sofa with baby asleep and get to 3pm and think 'oh balls I have had nothing to eat all day' it doesnt help with tiredness or your general mood though, so pop them in the basket or wherever and grab a snack.

Oh yes, one thing which really helped my colicy one was white noise. Hoover, hairdryer or washing machine would literally send him to sleep - my hoover was on a lot when he was tiny!! Might be something to try perhaps.

Just hang on in there, and talk about it to anyone that will listen. Also, fresh air really helps with tiredness for me. Pop baby in the pram or carrier, maybe some headphones and just walk, hopefully it settles baby too.

Gilly, sorry you are having a rough time with tantrums atm we have had a few here too. Coincidence, I am selling some stuff on ebay too!! Only listed on the free weekend though so only got about 15 items on - what you selling? Mines a load of old junk, but people are bidding!!

Hugs all xxz

Gillyx

All sorts, old baby clothes, old Ipods, Dvds, Books, Projector thing that A never took to. If it's not nailed down I'm selling it. Baby clothes never cost to list btw, if you ever need to sell any. Next stuff sells brilliantly.

He's just so angry all the time, screaming rather than crying if you get what I mean. I know it'l pass it's just hard going listening to it all day, and when I know he's due a nappy change or something I have to change what he's doing I dread it because meltdown happens. Doesn't matter where we are either, even when we're out he just screams. People look and I seriously feel like telling them to eff off. He's always been such a content baby too (well after the initial few months) so I'm finding it particularly hard, as I'm so not used to it

Mrshaworth2b

Gillyx wrote: »

Just a quick one from me, again I am reading but just not getting a chance to comment. Been Ebay-ing every evening since Saturday. Almost 50 items listed along with my sanity I think.

Anyway just to say to those struggling at the moment, it is not easy, I to had a high needs baby, brought on by an undiagnosed milk intolerance, but he also had reflux and awful bottom wind. We co-slept and he'd only nap in my arms, because of the co-sleeping I couldn't sleep soundly and he fed every 2 hours in the day and every 3 hours at night, so I was literally attached to him, ALL the time. He wouldn't go into a bouncer/swing/pram/cot, anything without screaming the place down, I used to eat my breakfast with him strapped to me in the carrier, dropping weetabix onto his head. I hated that I'd had him, I honestly felt like I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. At night when he cried, I used to hold the pillow over my head and cry while my OH would shush and rock him. I have never felt as down and as sad in all of my life.

I hated that the doctors told me it would get easier, in a few months he'd be better, and it used to fill me with rage as I'd say BUT WHAT ABOUT NOW?!? In fact everyone I met would say cheerily 'oh it'l get better' and I seriously wanted to punch them in the face, as they didn't know how I felt.

But believe me it DOES get better, one day you wake up and you find yourself not dreading the day, you don't notice it happening but it just happens and you start to feel more organised, you get to know your baby more, they get older and more comfortable with there surroundings so mellow out slightly. Don't try to be a perfect parent, there really isn't such a thing, we all make mistakes and do silly things from time to time. Make sure babe is fed, you are eating when you can. If baby cries, put him/her down to make food, you cannot starve and 5 mins while toast cooks or you wolf down a bowl of cereal will not damage them in anyway, not eating will damage you. If the weather allows do get out, even a 30 minute walk a day makes you feel so much better, even now at 15 months it really helps me.

At the moment I am being tested in ways I never even knew a 15 month old could inflict. I wake up in the morning and I am not happy about the day ahead, everything is a battle and screaming takes up about 75% of my day if not more, but I know this too shall pass, the way that we have got through it in the past.

Hang in there ladies, the joy they bring does help outweigh the terror they create.

Apologies for those who have read this from me before.

Also you are NEVER a failure, you are learning, and getting to know your new baby as they are with you. Becoming a parent is a steep learning curve, for everyone, even those with 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies as they're all so different.

Massive hugs to anyone who needs them at the moment. xx

Thanks to this and all other replies, I've never heard such honesty. No body tells you about this when your pregnant!

The dr was really nice when I started crying she said she thinks babie are here to test our patience for the first few months lol and she's pregnant with her second!

I know we'll get through it and hell grow out of it, I just honestly felt yesterday that he hated me and that I was doing everything wrong, but will try and look at it more positive from today. But thank you all for cheering me up, I thought I was he only one who wasn't enjoying everyday with my baby!

fluffnutter

bellola wrote: »

Oh my gosh, i am sorry for just jumping in after not posting for ages but i am going insane and need reassurance that this is just a phase...S can now crawl, pull herself up and walk along furniture and her favourite time to do this nap/bed time. For the past 2 weeks it has taken well over an hour to get her to sleep as she goes down sleepy but then wakes, stands and screams. She gets put back down, told its sleepy time, calmed down and door shut but just does it over and over until eventually she goes to sleep after patting and ssshhing. This is a phase right? Does anyone have any tips or coping mechanisms?!

Everything's a phase! No tips other than what you're doing really. Although I'd try not to give her too much attention. Just say 'it's sleepy time now' and then leave the room. She'll eventually start to settle herself but it might take a few weeks....

Coping mechanism? Have you considered wine? (You, not her).

janninew

Sorry to hear some are having problems with their babies. We've been through lots here and come through the other side. I can echo the others ladies thoughts that it does get easier as you get to know your baby better. We are also going through the tantrum stage at the moment, I'm finding this stage really tiring, she can pull herself up against the sofa, tv unit etc but can't get down so I have to help her. This is repeated about 20 times an hour!

Each stage you go through brings different challenges and worries. I use to worry about her not gaining weight quick enough, then about her not reaching milestones, my current worry is she won't socialise with other babies at baby group, she only wants to cling to me.

I understand totally when Gilly thought in the early days she had made a mistake. I remember thinking when I was first pregnant and I was so sick and had to be admitted to hospital, why have I done this!! And my baby was planned and so wanted! When she was in the NICU and fighting I remember thinking how much easier it wouldn't have been if I never got pregnant in the first place. Now though I couldn't love her more and I do think going through everything we have done has made me a better person and more relaxed!

Being a Mum is tough, but I wouldn't change anything for all the tea in China.

mozzyc

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

Hi Marta

My lo is 8 weeks - I didn't know colic stops at 3 months - that makes me happy

We've been told he has reflux so we've changed the milk and seeing how he goes with that but struggles with wind too so used gripe water but he was still screaming so trying the infacol.

Lol, Charlie was definitely longer than that with his colic. I would say more closer to 5mnths. Actually, when we started weaning it eased........

Bamama

DDB I'm good thanks! Not perfect but... life never is.

Re. Naps.
Dewi rarely naps. He'll usually do a good 8 hours in the night with a doze for 2 hours. Then maybe 3 half hour naps through the day.

mrs_B_5

Ergh. Sorry to come on here & lower the mood but I just need to rant. The HV rang last Friday to rearrange our appt that was supposed to be on Tuesday because she had a study day. So we rearranged for 1pm today. Well 1pm came & went. It got to 2.10 so I rang the SPA number to see what was happening & they said she was off sick but that they'd pass my number to the HV team to get in touch. I've just had a phonecall from the most irritating woman to apologise. She didn't even bother to find out my name before ringing or whilst we were on the phone. She didn't listen to a word I said either which just got my back up even more. I'm so tempted to tell them I don't want to see them anymore but due to my previous history of depression they'd probably decide to report me as a concern. I wouldn't mind but the GP surgery rang me this morning to check if I was going for George's jabs tomorrow & we've missed a trip out with some local mums to sit in & wait for today's appt

*Nutella*

Just wanted to share my newfound knowledge about cough mixture I'd been told by numerous people, including pharmacists, that children under the age of 6 can't have cough mixture. That's true for all the main brands, but I've just discovered a brand called Tixylix that's suitable for children aged 1 year and over. There are four or so different types - a couple for coughs and one for coughs and sore throats. They even sell them in Boots (despite the fact it was a Boots pharmacist who first told me they didn't have anything for very young children) It's mainly honey and sugar, so not the ideal thing to be feeding your child at 2am, but if the alternative is having them cough until they cry, then I know which option I'd go for... It's no magic wand, but it helped, and it enabled her to sleep when nothing else worked.