Buffy takes babysteps.

Buffythedebtslayer

Hungry

Not going to the bank, need to get decluttering and once I am out and about I will buy things and avoid coming home! Plus my nose is a mess and I don't want to be stared at! - Of course I know rationally people WILL not be staring at me it is a tiny mark and I do need to get a grip.

However I will get a grip tomorrow, today I shall stay here and regroup!

and put things in the bin!!

xx

chevalier

Sorry maybe I missed something somewhere, but I thought you had borrowed the money so you could get the thing on your nose sorted privately so you didn't have to wait on the NHS.....
chev

Buffythedebtslayer

Had the biopsy done in the summer but the op is too expensive, also paying for MA and car.

chevalier

Not something that can be bung on a 0% credit card then?

Buffythedebtslayer

Not happy getting into more debt for something I pay my taxes for. We shall see.

Baby steps today.

well I don't want to do baby steps I feel like doing something radical. I shall go read the Messies thread for inspiration.


xx

chevalier

Just remind me, it is melanoma on your nose isn't it? But non malignant? Only if it wasn't I wouldn't be hanging about, but on the other hand, I guess then you would get it quickly done under the NHS.

chev

Buffythedebtslayer

If it was the dangerous kind of skin cancer obviously I would have had it treated. I am not going to leave something that could possibly kill me.

It does look better now so hopefully will be ok for me to go out tomorrow. Honestly I do hate myself for letting it bug me so much. I have taught kids with scars and birthmarks who were far braver ! I really do need to get a grip.

I am currently clearing out the wardrobe..............so unless I find Narnia I won't be leaving the house today!!

Buffythedebtslayer

Wardrobe clearout was a success! I have a nicely organised wardrobe and chest of drawers. I got rid of a few bits and had a good look at "outfits" lol and ordered some new underwear and work clothes to fill in gaps.

Today I am going to see my friend and help her e bay stuff - not that I am an expert but she has never done it.

my nose still looks ropey but I came on line to make a doctors appointment.

must go do that

xx

Sun_Addict

Hi Buffy

Just been reading your diary - you have been through the mill! Hope you get your nose sorted soon. Have subscribed and will keep reading. You are doing well so far and seem to have had a productive Easter. Thanks for your good wishes on my diary and you'll be pleased to hear my OH may be discharged today - looks like he has depression and stress - nothing sinister. What a coincidence to see you also have depression. You sound like you are coping at the moment. Nothing like a good clear out to lift the spirits!

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello Sun!

I think i am doing ok cos I am not at work. There is a lot riding on these two weeks tho. Loads to do! Will be getting quite panicky if the next couple of days don't go to plan.

Need to go out today. Don't want to.

might cry off with illness?

bit of a cop out but I want to be here fixing up stuff. selfish I guess. but it is such a tip and if I am honest her house is always immaculate. She is lovely but I feel I can't take that kind of energy (how entirely poncy!) I need quiet and methodical today.

Can't believe stress and depression can cause such problems, mind you I do get very very tired. Impossible some nights and then other nights I can't sleep for thinking.


Hope you OH is feeling better

xxxx