Ok, so now my dating woes!

threemuttleys

VestanPance wrote: »

The fact you seem put off by his height despite getting on so well makes it sound like he's not got a chance. Although you're hardly alone in the wanting a taller man thing. I think the majority of women prefer a man taller than them.

It's not shallow. You have little control over what attracts you to someone, or what makes someone unattractive. For a relationship you need to get on, but you also need the attraction.

tara747 wrote: »

I don't find short men attractive at all, so I wouldn't go on a second date. Full stop. No matter how nice he was, I couldn't do it. Shallow, maybe, but there you go.

I agree with Lance, by all means give him another chance, but it sounds as if height is a big thing for you (so much so that you started a thread about it), so think carefully.

Oh and I wish you lots of luck!!

I personally couldnt date a guy shorter than me (im 5'3) dont know why, but I like to walk into my mans arms and feel secure. tippy toes for kisses is cute too

I really am shallow!

Stephb1986_2

It seems like he didn't have a problem with you being taller than him which I think most men would have a problem with it.

You need to give yourself a good talking to OP, good luck in the online dating. It's where I met my fiance but wasn't on match.

Steph xx

the_pink_panther_2

It is shallow, but then if you don't feel attraction towards him, then you just can't do anything about that, you can't force attraction.

kettlefish

Glad you're having a second date, Maureen. He sounds lovely. If it really is an issue when you see him again, maybe you just don't fancy him? Kudos to him, too, for being honest on his profile That says a lot more about him than an extra few inches would.

As a 5'1" female, I do apologise for nabbing a tall man though - my DH is 6'2" and would've been much better suited to someone a little taller :rotfl:

miss_independent

Hi Maureen! The real life Bridget Jones here!

Ok, so you said he was kind and honest and you had a lot in common. You didn't mention whether you were physically attracted to him in any way or if you had a real chemistry? Do you feel, height aside, that you would want to get to know him better? Did you have an enjoyable time on your date? Did he make you laugh? I think if the answers are yes, I'd be inclined to give him a second date. It's only a second date, there's no harm in it and if you can't get past the height issue then it's early enough to not take it any further without crushing him (no pun intended).

I'd much rather be with a taller man, but I'm only 5"3 so finding a man taller than me is not challenging. I think it's an evolutionary thing that's been passed down - a bigger man would be more likely to be able to protect us and our offspring so historically it made more sense to mate with them rather than a short a*se you could knock down with a feather. However, I've learned not to be too choosy looks wise as there are more important things I'm looking for in a potential boyfriend/husband. That being said, you've got to fancy them enough to want to snog them lol! If the attraction could never be there (and by date 2 you should know) then it's never going to work.

But then...I'm not sure I'm the best person to be dishing out dating advice!

morganedge

Like someone else said, you can't really help it if you find his height a turn off.

It seems that 'looks' and physical qualities are much more important than everything else nowadays. It's all people really care about, especially for slightly younger people.

I don't claim to be different, and that's part of the reason why i'm single. I want a girl that looks a certain way, and that girl would probably never look at me twice as i'm not good looking (or tall enough) for her.

I think I'm about 5' 8'' ish? I don't tend to use dating sites much, but when I have, it seems that every girl will only consider even responding too a guy if he is 6 foot plus!

It sucks. That's life.

miss_independent

morganedge wrote: »

Like someone else said, you can't really help it if you find his height a turn off.

It seems that 'looks' and physical qualities are much more important than everything else nowadays. It's all people really care about, especially for slightly younger people.

I don't claim to be different, and that's part of the reason why i'm single. I want a girl that looks a certain way, and that girl would probably never look at me twice as i'm not good looking (or tall enough) for her.

I think I'm about 5' 8'' ish? I don't tend to use dating sites much, but when I have, it seems that every girl will only consider even responding too a guy if he is 6 foot plus!

It sucks. That's life.

Sorry . I think it could be our massive killer heels that are part of the problem. I was with a guy who was your height, I was in my usual heels which make me around 5"7 and he came up behind me and put his arm round my waist. I went to lean my head back against his chest and ended up nuzzling his chin and it suddenly struck me that I was used to guys that were at least 6ft1.

That being said, I still gave him another chance.

lostinrates

My husband is five seven ish, five eight maybe. He's much shorter than I would ever consider ideal in the past, but he still makes me feel secure and safe. He is strong and his arms are just as good. He is taller than me, but not in lots of the shoes I used to wear! Also, from a genetics perspective as raised by pigpen, he is by far the tallest in his family, a veritable giant. His parents were both five feet or under, his brother is shorter than me I am pretty certain.

Interestingly, I have to admit dh's second date was a pity date from me. he seemed very keen and although I thought he was very nice I initially felt no attraction. However, I am glad I went, obviously. He very soon won me over and I now cannot imagine how I cannot have seen how lovely he is, and his face is perfect to me, his height great too, as now I have such a bad back it would have been uncomfortable to reach up too far to kiss, and tip toes is hard if you need walking aids. . We're well match for walking along holding hands, no uncomfortable reaching up or being dragged down, and for kissing, and for wrapping arms around each other.

My feeling now is to always give someone you don't dislike a second date to see.

Brighton_belle

lostinrates wrote: »

My feeling now is to always give someone you don't dislike a second date to see.

Absolutely. I turned down a second date from the last man I dated. Fortunately he persuaded me otherwise. He's now my husband

OP, I dont think a second date, when you are unsure of how you feel, is in anyway 'leading someone on'. I think leading someone only applies after quite a few more dates than that and you clearly know there's no future in it but you'll 'make do for now'.

katie1812

He might be thinking about it too, would you ever say anything about it? If anything, he is probably embarrassed as the man is 'supposed' to be taller. But if he is what you're looking for and vice versa then what's a few inches for height?