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Ok, so now my dating woes!
Maureen43
Posts: 518 Forumite
Following on from Miss Independent's stories which I can well relate to...
Have been on Match for a little while and have met two men until last night:
1) Nice enough but with an irrational hatred of traffic wardens. I didn't want to see him again.
2) Really nice and we seemed to have a lot in common, but he didn't want to see me again
Then, last night, I had a date with another guy who seemed to tick all the boxes from his profile and from the emails we had exchanged. When we met for a drink last night it emerged that we had a scary amount in common, plus he seemed kind and honest.
But then he got up from his bar stool.....It had never occurred to me that I could meet someone shorter than me (I am 5 ft 4in). He was TINY. As soon as I got home I checked his profile and he had been honest - he is 5 ft 1in! - but I simply hadn't checked that out.
He wants to meet for a second date and I would probably have said yes if it wasn't for the height issue. Now I feel really shallow and horrible but I can't seem to get past it in my head!
Oh my word. This dating thing is a minefield.
Have been on Match for a little while and have met two men until last night:
1) Nice enough but with an irrational hatred of traffic wardens. I didn't want to see him again.
2) Really nice and we seemed to have a lot in common, but he didn't want to see me again
Then, last night, I had a date with another guy who seemed to tick all the boxes from his profile and from the emails we had exchanged. When we met for a drink last night it emerged that we had a scary amount in common, plus he seemed kind and honest.
But then he got up from his bar stool.....It had never occurred to me that I could meet someone shorter than me (I am 5 ft 4in). He was TINY. As soon as I got home I checked his profile and he had been honest - he is 5 ft 1in! - but I simply hadn't checked that out.
He wants to meet for a second date and I would probably have said yes if it wasn't for the height issue. Now I feel really shallow and horrible but I can't seem to get past it in my head!
Oh my word. This dating thing is a minefield.
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Comments
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OP go on another date he ticks all your boxes so why not, you can be the tall one in this budding relationship. It is a bit shallow wanting someone who is taller and your fault for not reading his profile correctly.0
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OP go on another date he ticks all your boxes so why not, you can be the tall one in this budding relationship. It is a bit shallow wanting someone who is taller and your fault for not reading his profile correctly.
You are right - I should have read his profile correctly!
I was just a bit shocked by quite how little he was...0 -
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Think of your date number 2. How would you feel if you found out the only reason he didn't want to see you again was for something you had no control over, like your height?
OK, if there's no connection, there's no connection - but is it worth another date or two to see if it's something you could get over after the initial surprise?0 -
If it is a REAL problem for you, don't see him again. If it's something you think you can get past, rather than a shock that you need to adjust to see him again would be my advice. Billy Joel is short and married a beautiful lady of something around the 6ft mark...............
Your date can obviously get past the fact that you are taller than him!
good luck.....I was on various dating sites and after about a year or so I met my current partner and we've been together nearly 4 years!'Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.' T S Eliot0 -
Give him a second chance... I know lots of people who went on first dates with someone they didn't find 100% right, but later realised they were a great match, and the little things (no pun intended) didn't bother them.
I would say that this guy gets full marks for being honest - many women are immediately put off by short stature, and he's put it upfront in his profile when he could have left it blank.
Since he was kind, honest, and you got on really well, why not try one more date?0 -
The fact you seem put off by his height despite getting on so well makes it sound like he's not got a chance. Although you're hardly alone in the wanting a taller man thing. I think the majority of women prefer a man taller than them.
It's not shallow. You have little control over what attracts you to someone, or what makes someone unattractive. For a relationship you need to get on, but you also need the attraction.0 -
Thank you all for your wise words. I will go on a second date and see how things go from there.
I love this site
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My mum was 5ft 6ins tall. My dad was 5ft 3ins tall.
Apparently when they met she was a bit worried about going out with someone shorter than her, but after a few weeks she realised she'd met the love of her life.
This guy might not be the love of your life, but for the sake of a few inches it seems a shame to miss out on some nice companionship.
Edited to add - glad you are giving him a second chanceEarly retired - 18th December 2014
If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough0
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