Ok, so now my dating woes!

Nottoobadyet

I'd say give it a second chance - maybe it was just the surprise of it. Three inches isnt a comical difference, and if hes handsome enough that you're interested in him sitting down then maybe it will work out.

[Deleted User]

I had this issue when I was on dating websites. Unfortunately there are an awful lot of short men on them which i guess just shows that you're not alone in being attracted to taller men. After several fruitless dates I gave myself a good talking to and told myself i was shallow for not giving someone a chance because of their height (I had made 5ft 8in my absolute minimum requirement) but I just could not get over it so in the end I just accepted it.
I looked back on all my relationships and realised I had never been with a guy who was under 6ft tall! Hence, that is one of the factors that attracts me to a man and that's that. Some of my friends found it strange because I'm only 5ft 4in myself but I think its because I'm a strong personality and can be a bit of a control freak. I work out as well so I have quite a powerful physical physique. Having a partner who's taller than me sort of balances out the strength thing in my eyes and allows me to sometimes feel that I can relinquish that feeling of always having to be in charge!
I have some lovely male friends who are much shorter and I love them to bits but i don't fancy them. I did meet someone eventually and we're married now. He's 6ft! :j

Tish_P

See him again if you enjoyed the evening you spent with him. No need to overthink it at this stage!

In the long run it depends on whether you simply don't find shorter men attractive, or whether you're more worried about what everyone else will think, whether people will look at you funny if you wear heels etc. If it's the former, you have to be true to your own desires, but if it's the latter I say get over it and have fun!

Alter_ego

So size does matter?

NAR

Alter_ego wrote: »

So size does matter?

Especially when it is less than 6 inches!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Lance

Maureen43 wrote: »

Thank you all for your wise words. I will go on a second date and see how things go from there.

I love this site

If his profile is dating with nothing serious then fine but if not then don't waste his time and make the situation worse. The longer you date the worse the dumping will be so if height is a concern, and it is, don't try and get around it concentrate on finding the right person for you and let him find the right person for him.

If you do have a second date please show a bit of tact .... don't go and see 'The Hobbit'.

tara747

I don't find short men attractive at all, so I wouldn't go on a second date. Full stop. No matter how nice he was, I couldn't do it. Shallow, maybe, but there you go.

I agree with Lance, by all means give him another chance, but it sounds as if height is a big thing for you (so much so that you started a thread about it), so think carefully.

Oh and I wish you lots of luck!!

SuzieSue

Lance wrote: »

If his profile is dating with nothing serious then fine but if not then don't waste his time and make the situation worse. The longer you date the worse the dumping will be so if height is a concern, and it is, don't try and get around it concentrate on finding the right person for you and let him find the right person for him.

I agree with this - don't waste his time out of pity. If there is no way you could have a relationship with him because he is 3inches shorter than you, then don't go on a second date. If you think you can get over it then do have a second date.

I think a lot depends on what age you are. I am in my late 40s and now don't care what other people think and so going out with someone 3 inches smaller than me wouldn't bother me at all, however, I'm not sure if I could have coped with it in my 20s although if he was the love of my life then it probably wouldn't have mattered.

Welshwoofs

I'm the same height as you Op and I have to admit that I was in the same situation year before last. I had a date with a guy I got on well with but he turned out to be a few inches shorter than me (his profile said 5'6 though!) I did give him a second chance but the reality was that, no matter how nice he was, I just didn't fancy him as I couldn't get over the height issue. I like being shorter than my mate (ideally a fair bit shorter) and when I stood next to this chap I simply felt too conspicuous, vulnerable, massive...lots of negative feelings I just couldn't get rid of.

I don't see it as shallow because you cannot help what you find attractive and what you don't and everyone has their turn-ons and turn-offs. You also can't make yourself fancy someone - you can grow to like them very much platonically, but if there's absolutely no sexual chemistry there you can't force it.

Anyway, I think you'll know more about your feelings in this case after a few dates.

VestanPance

tara747 wrote: »

I don't find short men attractive at all, so I wouldn't go on a second date. Full stop. No matter how nice he was, I couldn't do it. Shallow, maybe, but there you go.

Well by definition most attraction is shallow, but that's just life. What one person finds hugely attractive another would find a complete turn off based more often than not on something about their look, style or body shape.

Sure for a short guy it could be annoying to be ruled out due to height, but it could be for being too fat, too thin, being bald, hair too long, having acne, wearing glasses and the list is never ending. In the same way some people will find someone attractive based purely on their looks or even a talent they have such as playing a musical instrument.

Someone you get on great with but with no attraction is a friend. Someone you are attracted to but incompatible with will never make a relationship. For a partner you need the compatibility along with the attraction.