Help! Partner spends too much time online!

Goldiegirl

I was just wondering if you'd feel as worried if she was ignoring you for some other reason.

For example if she had her head stuck in a book all the time would you feel happier about that.

Londontomx

Goldiegirl wrote: »

I was just wondering if you'd feel as worried if she was ignoring you for some other reason.

For example if she had her head stuck in a book all the time would you feel happier about that.

Interesting. I honestly don't think I would be worried if they were reading a book. It would still be annoying if they were reading something all the time to the extent they are using the pc etc

getmore4less

Londontomx wrote: »

I've read people's opinions on here. Most have said that there is no relationship and to end things. Is it really that simple for them to walk away from a 7 year relationship?

What hints of a relationship have you given

The probem seems to be you are not happy so what do you want to change?

If they spend less time on the internet what do you want them to do that will make you happy.

Are there other social interations where you don't mix, cooking, mates, sex, holidays, TV etc.


It cannot just be internet time or is it?


Did you ever give up the gender position there seems to be assumtions but not sure it matters.

moneysaymoneydo

Check the history then reset it then check next night etc see if same links, may just be he/she/it/they/them/thepersoninvolved likes looking on the internet of a nighttime may be a link to elsewhere, either way next time you take ??? out then as you get your coats on say "Leave the Ipad at home", simples!

All above fails disconnect broadband connection the odd night to get her attention :rotfl:

Mrs_Ryan

I'm just the same. I spend way too much time online! Most of the time I come in from work late same time as OH, will be downstairs for a bit then hole myself up in my computer room till bedtime. Even when I'm downstairs or when me and OH do go out I'm obsessively on my BlackBerry or Kindle Fire when I'm at home. When my internet went off because Orange screwed up I actually cried with distress... Difference is, OH doesnt mind so much, it doesnt come between us - if he wants to spend some time with me, he'll ask me to put the internet down for a bit and I will, unless I'm in the middle of something then I will finish what I'm doing and go to him. If partner is being secretive sounds a bit fishy to me...

Welshwoofs

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who sat on the Internet every moment they weren't either at work or asleep (and I say that as someone who whose work is in the online gaming/community sphere!) I can't think of anything more boring or soul-destroying than to have a 'coffee table' of a partner who just sits there like a great useless lump grunting 'yes' or 'no' in response to conversation!

You know what I'd do? I'd sit her down and tell her that her passtime has become an obsession, that whether she realises it or not she's spending all her free time on the Internet to the detriment of your relationship and that she's becoming massively dull as a result. Tell her that something needs to change as you're not happy and can't continue and then follow that through - either by making her seek help or spliting up if she feels she doesn't have a problem and is perfectly happy.

Is it easy to walk away from 7 years? No, of course not. But if you're not happy then the only realistic option is to change something - whether that's her behaviour or your relationship. After all, the only other option is to continue in an unhappy relationship whilst your life drifts away between your fingers....time where you could have healed and found someone more compatible.

podperson

Londontomx wrote: »

I've read people's opinions on here. Most have said that there is no relationship and to end things. Is it really that simple for them to walk away from a 7 year relationship?

Of course it's not simple, but you've been saying that you don't want to push the issue in case it cause arguments that might lead to a breakup. What is the alternative?

I was one who said 'no relationship' and perhaps that was a poor choice of words. It's certainly can't be a very positive or fulfilling relationship, at least on your side, to be with someone who seems unwilling to make the effort to even interact with you, let alone spend any quality time together.

Can you see yourself putting up with this long term? I would assume not so you need to be bringing it up with her in a way that she knows how much it's bothering you and that you can't carry on like this. If she is unwilling to make any effort to change or would rather argue and even break up rather then discuss it like adults then I'm sorry but that suggests there are bigger issues than just her spending too much time online.

Errata

I think if I was living with someone who spent their time in the home escaping from real life into cyberspace, I'd be very worried if that was a teenager and seriously worried if that was an adult. Not because it strained relationships, but because there was something very wrong going on in their heads.

thegirlintheattic

Perhaps 'they' are fed up with you and so their next best option is to go on the computer.

pinkshoes

I think the ipad should have a nasty accident with the washing up bowl... Or mysteriously make the wifi break down?

In all seriousness, this is one of the major things that caused me and my ex to split up. I accepted that his job was no. 1, but I disliked coming 3rd to his computer!

The only 'relationship' you describe is that between your girlfriend and her ipad. There would appear to be no relationship between the two of you, in which case, why are you together?! Personally I prefer sharing my life with a human being who likes to talk to me in the evenings.

I would suggest that you and the missus put one evening aside every week where you take it in turns to choose an activity to do. i.e. go to the cinema, out for dinner, play scrabble, watch a dvd. Just 1 night a week. If she isn't willing to put her ipad away for that, then personally I'd walk away.

Don't get hung up on the 7 year thing - it doesn't mean much at the moment when you clearly don't have much of a relationship!