Help! Partner spends too much time online!

VestanPance

They have an addiction by the sounds of it. Ignoring what is right in front of them for fear of missing what's happening online.

If they don't see a problem with that or won't talk openly about it then you have a real problem.

Teeniepops

Thanks for the post and comments.

Whilst neither of us are anywhere near as bad as this lady sounds, this has made me sit back and think about how much I use my iPhone/iPad. I'm going to make a conscious effort to reduce it as I don't want to lose the now.

It reminds me of a song called 'Digital' which has lyrics 'Digital. Did you tell the world'.

podperson

Londontomx wrote: »

Of course it's a genuine question. It could be addiction, but like in most cases the addict isn't aware that its an addiction. I'm treading on egg shells to not mention it as I don't want it to cause a massive problem between us that might end our relationship.

Tbh it doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship at the moment if all she does is sit on the computer, barely acknowledging you, certainly not spending any time with you - and if you try and bring it up then she gets annoyed/defensive. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with what sounds at the moment like a glorified room mate?

Me and OH do both go on the computers quite a bit, but we also spend quality time together where we are the centre of each other's attention. If you can't do that then quite frankly what's the point in being in a relationship?

Londontomx

podperson wrote: »

Tbh it doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship at the moment if all she does is sit on the computer, barely acknowledging you, certainly not spending any time with you - and if you try and bring it up then she gets annoyed/defensive. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with what sounds at the moment like a glorified room mate?

Me and OH do both go on the computers quite a bit, but we also spend quality time together where we are the centre of each other's attention. If you can't do that then quite frankly what's the point in being in a relationship?

Thanks for that. However, both you and your partner both go online. You both know this but you then come together for quality time. I tend not to go online unless I'm looking something up or have been contacted a social media site. I'm not on the iPad/iPhone as soon as I'm awake. I'll actually ignore the net or messages. My partner will react to every little beep and bing coming from them.

Londontomx

Teeniepops wrote: »

Thanks for the post and comments.

Whilst neither of us are anywhere near as bad as this lady sounds, this has made me sit back and think about how much I use my iPhone/iPad. I'm going to make a conscious effort to reduce it as I don't want to lose the now.

It reminds me of a song called 'Digital' which has lyrics 'Digital. Did you tell the world'.

I'm glad I have helped someone. Just hope I can help myself.

podperson

Londontomx wrote: »

Thanks for that. However, both you and your partner both go online. You both know this but you then come together for quality time. I tend not to go online unless I'm looking something up or have been contacted a social media site. I'm not on the iPad/iPhone as soon as I'm awake. I'll actually ignore the net or messages. My partner will react to every little beep and bing coming from them.

I don't think it's necessarily the actually being online (unless you're worried about what sites etc she may be going on which is a totally different issue) it's more the fact that she's doing something to the complete exclusion of everything else including interaction with her partner.
If she was doing anything to the extent that she refused to speak to you in more than monosyllables and it had taken over her life to the extent that she didn't want to put it down even to spend some time with her partner, then I would be saying the exact same thing.

Robin_TBW

Sounds like she's interested in someone else. Sorry but not going to hold back, I've been there before and she's looking through other options by the sounds of it.

Londontomx

Robin_TBW wrote: »

Sounds like she's interested in someone else. Sorry but not going to hold back, I've been there before and she's looking through other options by the sounds of it.

You say that but my partner never really goes out.

getmore4less

Invite people round for dinner/movie/sport...

If they ignore guests as well, you have a serious problem on your hands.


Who is in charge of the internet connection(router) there are ways to make it not work so well or track.

If you go out have them drive.

even consider going out on your own.

Robin_TBW

Londontomx wrote: »

You say that but my partner never really goes out.

Yet.

Online dating very much exists.