Trying for a Baby Part 9

time2deal

Hi MrsT_M.

Well done for being honest about your weight. It's really tough - being overweight has been so hard all my life too. I've always felt less 'worthy' than thin people, and also scared to go to GP's etc as I think they will always say 'x thing is because you are too fat'.

Not saying that's right or not, but it's horrible and scary and makes you feel so rubbish.

Anyway, one thing I did do a few years ago was hypnotherapy - but in fact it really turned out to be counselling/CBT. I talked for ages with the therapist, and she asked me about how I feel about being overweight, what triggered the feelings of being unworthy, some key events in my childhood etc. It really helped to make me a happier person. I'll PM you the name (she is in London) if you like. It was nothing like hypnotherapy I've done since, but was the first time I was fully honest about how miserable being overweight made me feel.

I lost some weight, not enough, but some, but it changed my 'mind' a lot - which has made me a happier person. Less obsessed, less scared of telling people I'm fat (like I somehow imagined they hadn't noticed!).

Re pregnancy. The simple truth is that it makes it harder. I know there are plenty of overweight people who do get pregnant - but let's face it - we aren't one of them. So now it becomes a case of improving what you can to improve the chances. The stats on weight are fairly clear, so you have to accept that it is important.

Can I be really honest? At 50BMI I think you should really consider weight loss surgery. Weight watchers etc can help, but it would take a long time, and a LOT of will power, and a LOT less cooking! Be honest with yourself - do you think you can stick to a strict diet for a couple of years?

Mrs_T_M

time2deal- I'm terrified of surgery of any kind. I had a horrid reaction to the anaesthesia when I had my tonsils out and I saw my aunt nearly die after having her weight loss surgery. I suppose at my BMI though I have no other choice. That's the direction the GP keeps trying to push me in, so I suppose I'll make an appointment and see what can be done.

One of the things that worries me, I've kept up with what and how much I eat for a long while and the dietitian says that I really should not weigh what I do based on what my intake is. I'm always honest with it, and lets face it, I have no reason to be dishonest about it. I'm worried that if I do end up getting the surgery, and the weight still doesn't come off, what then? More surgery, therapy, or worse? All this on top of worrying about paying for my indefinite leave to remain so that I can stay with my husband in the UK is horrid.

In other news, I have sent an email enquiry into a local college about a job vacancy they have for a tutor. A level 4 qualification is basically a degree, right? If so, I'll apply for the job. If not, I'll keep looking. I'd love to stay a housewife (it's so much better for my mental health), but I think the time has come for me to just suck it up and go get a real job. Being a housewife (or stay at home partner) is a full time job, it just doesn't help to pay the bills. At least not at the moment.

time2deal

I was scared of surgery until I had a few. There are always risks, but then there are also risks of being very overweight.

Nowadays I wish I had more need for GA's! I miss the blank bliss. I know Tea Lover is with me on this. It was the best part of having cancer - lots of blissful oblivion using drugs. (That's probably a terrible thing to say!)

You probably have a slow metabolism, but in the end calories in vs calories out is basic physics. As I understand it, post surgery you simply won't be able to eat enough calories to maintain your weight.

Mrs_T_M

Do you think that I could try eating like I would after surgery, but before surgery? I know I'll have headaches, but that's normal now. I've been eating close to 1600 calories per day (never over 2000 in a day) for the past year. Nothing has budged. If I could get by without eating, I'd do it, but I know I have to eat. I suppose that if I keep feeling this disgusted with myself it will make a difference, especially as I'm far too disgusted with myself to even eat now.

I'm smart enough to do this, I don't understand why I haven't been able to lose the weight yet. I'm not eating fast food, pizza, drinking soda, or anything like that any more, I'm measuring, weighing, and writing down everything that goes in.

I suppose that I could just eat half of what I normally do and see how sick that makes me before I give up on it. That's what typically happens. I start something, then get physically ill for a week or so and I'm wrecked afterwards.

I don't even feel like making dinner now. I'll probably just tell DH to eat whatever he can find that he wants and I won't eat anything. That's how bad I feel about all of this at the moment.

The reason I'm scared of surgery, the anaesthesia caused me to stop breathing and the hospital didn't think I would ever wake up after they got me to breathe again. When I did eventually wake up, I was in the middle of an extreme panic attack. My fears aren't unfounded, but I do wish that I could just 'get over them.'

Sorry for being such a downer. I have no where else to talk about these things.

neon_dannii

Have you been checked for an under active thyroid?

To be eating 1500 calories and losing nothing, that is not right. Something else must be up. Or you are not weighing food correctly. Or you need to try gentle exercise

Mrs_T_M

neon_dannii wrote: »

Have you been checked for an under active thyroid?

To be eating 1500 calories and losing nothing, that is not right. Something else must be up. Or you are not weighing food correctly. Or you need to try gentle exercise

I have been checked, results were 'normal.'

I'm definitely weighing stuff correctly and I swim and walk nearly every day. On the days that I don't leave the house I work in the garden, I clean, and if needs be, I climb the stairs for exercise. I also do strength training twice per week.

I'm probably the smallest one in my family (that's related to me by blood) believe it or not. I'd love to get an ultrasound of my tummy region to make sure that nothing else is going on or out of whack, but that probably won't happen. I'll discuss that with the GP on 1 Oct. Yep, I've made yet another appointment to discuss my weight with him.

I'm assuming that the flab on my thighs and butt is just fat, but I've always had them and they've always been large.

I've come to the end of my rope and that's why I have a feeling that surgery is going to be the only option. I hate being forced into things though.

I'm at 1393 calories for today and I doubt I'll eat anything else tonight unless it's just a few bites of applesauce (unsweetened and homemade).

ttc39

Big hugs mrs tm , sounds strange how you not losing when you not overdoing the calories xxx

Mrs_T_M

ttc39 wrote: »

Big hugs mrs tm , sounds strange how you not losing when you not overdoing the calories xxx

Thanks. I just hope that the GP can figure out what's going on and set me on a path to get this junk off and nudge me once in a while to keep going.

tia86

Good luck Mrs TM - I think you need to find the methods that work for you. Lots of people I know are doing 5:2 diet at the moment, but Claire I think said that wasn't good for ttc. Hopefully the GP can help you work out whats going on

Hugs tealover

Hugs goodvibes - what happens next?

Mrs_T_M

Meh, I figure I probably can't conceive at this weight anyway, so the 5:2 thing won't hurt.

I don't know if this will link properly, but I'm going to be keeping up with things on MFP as well, so if anyone would like to see exactly what I'm eating and doing for exercise: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/MrsGene_Hunt