Trying for a Baby Part 9

Mrs_T_M

I had forgotten to date one of the forms, thus the e-mail from them. I'm trying to be patient, but you know how that works.

angeltreats

Just found out that my lovely friend's second ICSI hasn't worked. So upset and disappointed for her. There is nothing at all I can say and nothing I can do to make this any less terrible for her.

Part_Mouse

Angel aww your poor friend, she must be so upset xx

codemonkey

Aww Angel, your poor friend. I always think that there should be better success rates for something that invasive.

Speaking of which I made the mistake of reading the comments on the bc website about using DNA from 3 people to stop certain genetic conditions and I'm really upset now. So many people going on about how infertile people should just accept that they can't have kids and move on. Clearly people who have never struggled themselves.

Can't help thinking in light of people in here mentioning being frustrated or needing treatment before the magic year is up that this fertility thing is a bit like playing a board game where the finish is a happy healthy baby - other people have it, it looks great, and you've wanted it forever. Eventually you do everything you need to to be able to get the game (saved up, bought a house, met someone, waited for them to be ready or whatever), you get your piece lined up, you can't believe you'll be playing soon and it's so exciting. Then you realise that you need to roll double sixes to start. And for some reason you only get one roll a month. Your friends start playing too. Some get their double six on the first attempt and at first thats ok because you think you'll follow them soon. But you don't. You throw the dice every month. You read up on cheats to get the double sixes but you still don't. You skip events in case they get in the way of your dice roll, stop eating and drinking certain things in case they will ruin your throwing technique. You're still sitting on start and your friends are happily playing, racing ahead, talking endlessly about the stuff they're doing while you nod tightly. You get frustrated every time it's your turn but you're still on the start. You might have managed to roll the sixes only to have then been forced by chance to return to the start. Then someone comes along who isn't playing the game and 'accidentally' drops their dice and get a double six and they start playing the game, or they decide they don't want to and it's wasted. You feel, meanly, that they've stolen your double six. You get more and more sad and don't like this game anymore while at the same time knowing you'd do anything to play. You get very angry when you see someone smoking or drinking while they're playing. Your friends have finished the game by now and are starting to play their 2nd or even 3rd game and you're still on start. So you consult a specialist and discover your dice are faulty but you can't just swap out the dice. They give you drugs and procedures to try to weigh the dice in your favour but still you wait....

I've depressed myself with that train of thought.

Metranil_Vavin

Code - you write very eloquently.

I know there is nothing useful I can say, but what you say makes a lot of sense.

codemonkey

I think the point I was trying to make before I got derailed by my own frustration and the game became a deranged jumanji , was that even if you do everything right, it's still a game of chance.

But thanks MV. It's nice to know my rants occasionally make sense.

angeltreats

Code, I love that. I try and explain to my husband how this whole thing actually makes me feel as he struggles a bit to understand, but it's hard to put it into words - your post manages it exactly. I'm going to cut and paste this into an email for him. Thanks.

Metranil_Vavin

You make perfect sense and actually sum the whole miserable process up perfectly.

It is a total game of luck.

My best friend is just embarking on her ttc journey having turned 40 earlier this month, and I am already seeing the pattern.

She was terrified/exhilirated/excited to begin with..nothing happened first month - no problem she said 'my heart wasn't really in it'.

2nd try came - did the deed the right days (is using my CBFM), period came bang on time..a sense of slight disappointment and she has now confessed that her OH didn't BD the days they needed to. I think the realisation is starting that it takes more than a bonk around the right week and bingo, you're up-duffed.

so onto try 3 now..she's even keeping me posted on the highs and peaks she is doing..I can still sense the anticipation and excitement.

I know however that it could very well be a long road, and having left it all so late, any medical intervention she may need could be a problem.

ruth26

Huge congratulations Kynthia! Hope you have a very happy and healthy 9 months. Welcome to Lolly and debs. Hugs to loulou123 for CD1.

Mrs T M - Hugs for cd1. As for the vouchers, mine only took about a week to arrive, but this was about a month ago and I expect they're getting an influx of the monitors/paperwork back now. Hope they arrive soon and you can get your sewing machine. The vouchers were sent by recorded delivery, so had to be signed for btw.

angeltreats - So sorry for your friend. Life can be so unfair.

Codemonkey - hugs for your IBS. Hope the bloating goes and you ov soon.

becsxxx - Good luck with the house viewing, sounds exciting!

Littleme82 - Hope you've caught the egg!

Catloverbex - Hugs for feeling down . Really hope that this month is your month (well, hope this month is everyone's month, but you know what I mean!)

Picklekin - Hope your FS appointment went well and your bloods came back good.

AFM - feeling very bleh at the moment. Have my 'action pack' of conceive plus and opks to start using next cycle though, so roll on cd1 and being able to start trying again!

littleme82

Code - that's a brilliant piece of writing. You couldn't have summed it up any better. I think that should go at the start of the thread.

Angel - hope your friend is ok

Metranil - hope your friend catches it next month

Ruth - you sound like me at the beginning of the month! I had OPK and conceive plus!

And.......I got my + OPK tonight! May have been there yesterday but I messed the test on. But we DTD last night and will do tonight. I may even jump him this weekend as its the weekend! :j

Xxx