Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

aliasojo

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

After arguing over text we spoke on the phone and we left it on good terms, we've managed to salvage a friendship from the car-crash of the past few weeks

I wonder why you didn't add this to your previous update post?

It seems to give a different impression to the one given earlier.

I do hope we've not all been subject of some sort of 'project'. :think:

Dunroamin

I think you also need to be aware that saying "we can still be friends" is often just someone trying to tactfully withdraw from the relationship rather than any actual plan. This may not be the case with your ex but I think that you might be the sort of person who takes that sort of statement at face value which is frequently not the way it's meant.

thorsoak

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

And you sound like a keyboard warrior...

After arguing over text we spoke on the phone and we left it on good terms, we've managed to salvage a friendship from the car-crash of the past few weeks - at the end of the day we've been a massive part of each others lives and it will be strange not speaking to her and seeing her everyday, but we've assured each other that we know where the other person is if they ever need anything as we both still care. But as far as a relationship goes that ones dead in the water.

Atleast I know I tried, I would have regretted it if I never. I'm sure there are plenty of people on here who regret not giving that last bit of fight to save a relationship, but I'm not one of them.

Time for us both to move on to pastures new.

It's all a part of growing up. Hopefully, from this relationship failure, you will have learned that you both have to consider the other person's feelings, and not take the other person for granted.

Don't rush into another relationship ...allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost, and to reflect upon what went wrong.

Good luck for your future x

Pollycat

aliasojo wrote: »

I wonder why you didn't add this to your previous update post?

It seems to give a different impression to the one given earlier.

I do hope we've not all been subject of some sort of 'project'. :think:

Me too.

From the OP's update, it sounded like things had become very acrimonious.

Glad it hasn't but I think you should read Dunroamin's post about 'friends'.

Captain_Charisma

aliasojo wrote: »

I wonder why you didn't add this to your previous update post?

It seems to give a different impression to the one given earlier.

I do hope we've not all been subject of some sort of 'project'. :think:

After that posting the more I thought about it and calmed down I realised that I didn't want to leave it like that after 6 years and I know she wouldn't of wanted that either, so I asked her to phone me (which she did) we both apologised for some things we said in the heat of the moment and cleared the air and ended it as friends

Ladyhawk

Aah, yes.... The classic "I hope we can still be friends"...
Why doesn't it mean exactly that? Please don't underestimate how raw you both will be potentially for months or even years. It is so very hard to do from a sexual relationship to a proper friendship. Just be very conscious that you need to give each other a lot of space. She is likely to be a few months further along the grieving process so take the lead from her.

yvonne13_2

OP I find it a bit rich for you to say "your opinion of her changed as she was so cold towards you when the split was amicable", the split was actually one-sided hence you tried to win her back.

Perhaps when you read what you've wrote carefully you'll see that you come across as being selfish and never taking responsibility for your actions, perhaps you can learn from this and move on and hopefully when your ex starts a new relationship you won't feel hurt ect.

StressedOutMummy

Captain,
I have given the posts a cursory glance and for the most part I concur with the advice given. I have been in your situation- 8 year relationship,very one-sided.Me giving, him not doing much.Called it a day - still friends but he is married now and so am I .Not to each other , so it can be done.If you can work on getting back together, great - but you are young so don't be flogging a dead horse.Good luck.

SOM

victory

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

After that posting the more I thought about it and calmed down I realised that I didn't want to leave it like that after 6 years and I know she wouldn't of wanted that either, so I asked her to phone me (which she did) we both apologised for some things we said in the heat of the moment and cleared the air and ended it as friends

I really do hope you manage to remain friends

heartbreak_star

I've just caught up on this. I'm glad you have managed to talk on the phone and "clear the air" as it were. Don't try to get her back, it's not meant to be.

Good luck - I hope you end up with someone who makes you very happy. I also hope you learn on the way to being old and jaded like me that it's the little things that matter, not the slightly-scary grand gestures.

Best wishes.

HBS x