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Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

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  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,774 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    What I think is sad is that this 6 year old relationship has now ended acrimoniously because you have pushed things too far.

    2 Valentine cards in 2 days, then a text, then another text.
    The poor girl probably thought 'My God! Why doesn't he get the message that it's over?'

    Feel free to say I told you so ...

    I don't think we need to.....
  • Dunroamin
    Dunroamin Posts: 16,908 Forumite
    Thought id give you all an update, would those wishing to stick the knife in and kick a man whilst he's down please form an orderly queue...

    As you know I hadn't spoken to my ex for about 10 days now, I sent the first card on Weenesday so she would have recieved it yesterday, I heard nothing, posted the 2nd one yesterday so she would have recieved it today, after posting the 3rd one this morning I couldn't resist texting her, didn't mention the cards it just said something along the lines of "I've been talking about you in work, reminded me how wonderful you are" - cheesy I know but I got a reply virtually straight away saying something like "hope you're ok, you know where I am if you need a friend" and that's where I should have left it. But stupidly I asked her would she let her friend treat her to tea tonight, anyway I got a cold response in a nasty tone about how I need to let her go and why aren't I getting it, now I've not got alot of patience at the best of time but she got under my skin with this as id asked her as a friend and given our history a simple no or I don't think that's a good idea would have been appropriate, cut a long story short we had an argument over text and any chance of a reconcilliation has gone. Now obviously im gutted at the mo but the whole drama of today has got me questioning my opinion of her and how she was so cold towards me when the split was ammicable, so im going to leave the past behind me and move on. So other than the card I had already posted this morning, there will be no more, no turning up at her work no nothing. She knows where I am if she wants me, but after today theres no saying that I'll want her.

    Feel free to say I told you so and stick the boot in where neccesary...

    Good for her - at last she's got through to you!

    (But don't start blaming her for the split not being amicable any more - it's totally your fault.)
  • tonyh66
    tonyh66 Posts: 1,736 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Thought id give you all an update, would those wishing to stick the knife in and kick a man whilst he's down please form an orderly queue...

    As you know I hadn't spoken to my ex for about 10 days now, I sent the first card on Weenesday so she would have recieved it yesterday, I heard nothing, posted the 2nd one yesterday so she would have recieved it today, after posting the 3rd one this morning I couldn't resist texting her, didn't mention the cards it just said something along the lines of "I've been talking about you in work, reminded me how wonderful you are" - cheesy I know but I got a reply virtually straight away saying something like "hope you're ok, you know where I am if you need a friend" and that's where I should have left it. But stupidly I asked her would she let her friend treat her to tea tonight, anyway I got a cold response in a nasty tone about how I need to let her go and why aren't I getting it, now I've not got alot of patience at the best of time but she got under my skin with this as id asked her as a friend and given our history a simple no or I don't think that's a good idea would have been appropriate, cut a long story short we had an argument over text and any chance of a reconcilliation has gone. Now obviously im gutted at the mo but the whole drama of today has got me questioning my opinion of her and how she was so cold towards me when the split was ammicable, so im going to leave the past behind me and move on. So other than the card I had already posted this morning, there will be no more, no turning up at her work no nothing. She knows where I am if she wants me, but after today theres no saying that I'll want her.

    Feel free to say I told you so and stick the boot in where neccesary...


    you sound like a right !!!!!!, learn from your mistakes or prepare for a life of broken relationships.
  • Tony, there is no need for that! OP has asked for advice - which he has had in bucketloads. He doesn't need abuse.
  • tonyh66
    tonyh66 Posts: 1,736 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Tony, there is no need for that! OP has asked for advice - which he has had in bucketloads. He doesn't need abuse.

    I gave him advice, learn or burn....

    He sounds like an selfish immature child and needs to understand a relationship involves 2 people.

    I'd like to know why he never met exGFs dad for 6 years.
  • tonyh66 wrote: »
    you sound like a right !!!!!!, learn from your mistakes or prepare for a life of broken relationships.

    And you sound like a keyboard warrior...

    After arguing over text we spoke on the phone and we left it on good terms, we've managed to salvage a friendship from the car-crash of the past few weeks - at the end of the day we've been a massive part of each others lives and it will be strange not speaking to her and seeing her everyday, but we've assured each other that we know where the other person is if they ever need anything as we both still care. But as far as a relationship goes that ones dead in the water.

    Atleast I know I tried, I would have regretted it if I never. I'm sure there are plenty of people on here who regret not giving that last bit of fight to save a relationship, but I'm not one of them.

    Time for us both to move on to pastures new.
  • victory
    victory Posts: 16,188 Forumite
    Thought id give you all an update, would those wishing to stick the knife in and kick a man whilst he's down please form an orderly queue...

    As you know I hadn't spoken to my ex for about 10 days now, I sent the first card on Weenesday so she would have recieved it yesterday, I heard nothing, posted the 2nd one yesterday so she would have recieved it today, after posting the 3rd one this morning I couldn't resist texting her, didn't mention the cards it just said something along the lines of "I've been talking about you in work, reminded me how wonderful you are" - cheesy I know but I got a reply virtually straight away saying something like "hope you're ok, you know where I am if you need a friend" and that's where I should have left it. But stupidly I asked her would she let her friend treat her to tea tonight, anyway I got a cold response in a nasty tone about how I need to let her go and why aren't I getting it, now I've not got alot of patience at the best of time but she got under my skin with this as id asked her as a friend and given our history a simple no or I don't think that's a good idea would have been appropriate, cut a long story short we had an argument over text and any chance of a reconcilliation has gone. Now obviously im gutted at the mo but the whole drama of today has got me questioning my opinion of her and how she was so cold towards me when the split was ammicable, so im going to leave the past behind me and move on. So other than the card I had already posted this morning, there will be no more, no turning up at her work no nothing. She knows where I am if she wants me, but after today theres no saying that I'll want her.

    Feel free to say I told you so and stick the boot in where neccesary...


    I'm not going to do that, it's been somewhat uneasy to read some of the posts that have been on your thread and I for one read but left it without any more replying because it seemed the kindest and most respectful thing to do.

    After all if you had been reading it you would feel hurt and fodder for amusement. Not a pleasant thought.

    As for what happened, I so wish people would not row via text, not get into it via email and before it escalates just pick up the phone and talk.

    Shame she never agreed to a meet/ drink/ chat that would
    Have made it clearer for you.

    Now you are both knarked off. Dragging it out, pushing the point at this moment will just make things worse.

    I can imagine you are feeling destroyed
    misspiggy wrote: »
    I'm sure you're an angel in disguise Victory :)
  • victory
    victory Posts: 16,188 Forumite
    And you sound like a keyboard warrior...

    After arguing over text we spoke on the phone and we left it on good terms, we've managed to salvage a friendship from the car-crash of the past few weeks - at the end of the day we've been a massive part of each others lives and it will be strange not speaking to her and seeing her everyday, but we've assured each other that we know where the other person is if they ever need anything as we both still care. But as far as a relationship goes that ones dead in the water.

    Atleast I know I tried, I would have regretted it if I never. I'm sure there are plenty of people on here who regret not giving that last bit of fight to save a relationship, but I'm not one of them.

    Time for us both to move on to pastures new.

    You know it's hugely sad and you would give anything for it to be different but it's not, you know it's not, try now to at least keep the friendship going
    misspiggy wrote: »
    I'm sure you're an angel in disguise Victory :)
  • To be honest it sounds like the best outcome. You have begun to accept it's over :( and have decided not to go with the OTT gesture of all the cards and risk being stalkerish and she's made her position clear. Hopefully now you've cleared the air you can remain friends, maybe you can go to the cinema or something in a month or 2 (but do give her space for a good few weeks).
    Best of Luck
    df
    Making my money go further with MSE :j
    How much can I save in 2012 challenge
    75/1200 :eek:
  • victory wrote: »
    You know it's hugely sad and you would give anything for it to be different but it's not, you know it's not, try now to at least keep the friendship going

    We both want to be friends, but we BOTH appreciate that it may be difficult in the immediate future and we'll BOTH be giving each other time and space. But like I've said, we know where each other are in the meantime if either of us need anything.
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