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Go it alone or am I being stupid?
Comments
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Person_one wrote: »You were 14, none of what's happened to you was your fault, you didn't deserve to be targeted by this man.
That's a totally dehumanising thing to say.0 -
That's a totally dehumanising thing to say.
No it isn't, and I can't see any way in which you're being helpful to the OP, you just seem to be in the mood for an argument. Can I suggest you follow notanewuser's excellent example and take it to another thread. This one has a vulnerable person on it who really exists somewhere.0 -
notanewuser wrote: »Do you honestly think that's fair? In the absence of any other evidence, if somebody looks 16, and tells you they are 16, you'd not believe them?
That doesn't matter in the eyes of the law. You are aware of the law of Statutory Rape?
A little girls playing games of being a grown up could ruin a young man's life by doing what you did, intentional or not. That conviction would be a permanent marker against their name. They would be on the sex offenders register and have to declare that on pretty much every job application the fill in. How many folk would believe a convicted sex offender (which is what they would be) that the girl lied and looked older? Not many once they have a conviction against them. It would also rule them out of many job opportunities, and possible adoption opportunities later in life.0 -
Don't make women into victims just because they have made bad choices!
She was not a woman when a 22 year old got involved with her. She was a 14 year old child. Call her a young woman if you will but the facts are that at 14 most of us are not emotionally mature enough to handle the type of relationship OP got involved in. She would also not have had the maturity to know how to handle all the relevant consequences that have stemmed from it either. Explaining why she is hugely in debt with three young children at 21 living with someone addicted to cannabis.
Yes she has made bad choices. Please dont ignore the fact though that at the time when most of us have our parents guiding us and supporting us the OP was involved with a drug user who clearly has not had her best interests at heart.0 -
Person_one wrote: »No it isn't, and I can't see any way in which you're being helpful to the OP, you just seem to be in the mood for an argument. Can I suggest you follow notanewuser's excellent example and take it to another thread. This one has a vulnerable person on it who really exists somewhere.
Perhaps.
That doesn't make it appropriate for you to make sweeping, superficial comments; I think many of your comments are totally irresponsible.0 -
VestanPance wrote: »That doesn't matter in the eyes of the law. You are aware of the law of Statutory Rape?
A little girls playing games of being a grown up could ruin a young man's life by doing what you did, intentional or not. That conviction would be a permanent marker against their name. They would be on the sex offenders register and have to declare that on pretty much every job application the fill in. How many folk would believe a convicted sex offender (which is what they would be) that the girl lied and looked older? Not many once they have a conviction against them. It would also rule them out of many job opportunities, and possible adoption opportunities later in life.
For snogging? Really?! Or have you misread what I said?Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman0 -
Perhaps.
That doesn't make it appropriate for you to make sweeping, superficial comments; I think many of your comments are totally irresponsible.
Then tell me in a PM if you feel strongly about it, don't make thinly veiled accusations that 14 year olds are to be held responsible when they are groomed and abused on a thread started by a struggling young woman who was groomed and abused at 14 and who is crying out for help. That's far more 'irresponsible'.0 -
Person_one wrote: »Then tell me in a PM if you feel strongly about it, don't make thinly veiled accusations that 14 year olds are to be held responsible when they are groomed and abused on a thread started by a struggling young woman who was groomed and abused at 14 and who is crying out for help. That's far more 'irresponsible'.
It is not often that we agree, but you have got things absolutely 100% spot on with this thread. Credit where it is due and all that.0 -
notanewuser wrote: »For snogging? Really?! Or have you misread what I said?
Yes, a young man could end up on the sex offenders register for snogging an under-age girl.0 -
VestanPance wrote: »Yes, a young man could end up on the sex offenders register for snogging an under-age girl.
Utterly absurd.Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman0
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