Son quit job

mrcow

suze200 wrote: »

I have asked him this. He says he wants to be self sufficient by travelling and living off the land (in the UK, hasn't got a current passport). Hes never shown any desire in that direction before.
He has about £1000 saved.

Thanks to all who have replied.

So he wants to be homeless?

What is he waiting for? For the weather to warm up?

suze200

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I'm harsh and also don't have any kids, so maybe I'm a bad person for saying this.

Feed him, replace his clothes with mega-cheap ones when they wear out, so his basic needs are catered for. Then give him nothing else. No money to go out with friends, no "luxuries", no alcohol, nothing.

Then see what he says about a job. It's what my mum would have done.

HBS x

Exactly my thoughts too.

I'm considering taking the fuse out of the consumer unit to work with me so he can't rack up the electricity bill playing xbox etc. Also switching off the central heating and locking the garage so he can't switch it back on.

When he was unemployed between college and this job my bills more than doubled becasue he was at home all day.

suze200

mrcow wrote: »

So he wants to be homeless?

What is he waiting for? For the weather to warm up?

Looks like it.

balletshoes

suze200 wrote: »

I have asked him this. He says he wants to be self sufficient by travelling and living off the land (in the UK, hasn't got a current passport). Hes never shown any desire in that direction before.
He has about £1000 saved.

Thanks to all who have replied.

does he have a mode of transport to go travelling and living off the land? Does he have a tent? If he's got a plan and thats what he's intending doing, then at least its a plan.

I sympathise with you OP, rant away, but maybe he'll be okay, get the travelling done and out of his sytem, and then settle down a bit and find a way to keep the wolf from the door.

McKneff

Feed him, full stop. Nothing else and he has to work for his food while he is without work.

And carry it through.............

ILW

I take it he has a phone etc, who is paying for it?

suze200

motherofstudents wrote: »

At the same time I would try to help him to find the direction he would like to take. There may be something he would enjoy and it may be something quite different from what he has done in the past. I have seen this numerous times when I was a careers advisor and just when you have given up hope with kids like this, they suddenly find a niche. Good luck.

I know what you're saying. We tried so hard when he quit college to help him come up with ideas of what he would like to do and how to get there. We obviouly failed. Careers advisors don't exist anymore. His only real interests are xbox and PC games.

motherofstudents wrote: »

I think he needs the motivation to look for work and as with most people, money could be it. Good luck.

Thing is he doesn't really need money as long as there is internet and electricity. Doesn't drink, smoke, drive, care about fashion, have a girlfiend etc. All his mates are gamers too.

heartbreak_star

Definitely sounds like cutting the electricity is the way forward!

HBS x

bestpud

How frustrating!

He will learn though - he's just going to be one of those people who learn the hard way.

I would take your time deciding how you will tackle it as knee-jerk reactions could come back and bite you in the rear. Whatever you do, it has to be sustainable and practical as this could be long term.

If he has savings, I'd start charging him keep right away!

Oh and the internet would be restricted to something like 5-10pm if it were my house.

If he wants more than that he can get himself a dongle or something.

Joons

Be careful, my sister has been funding her 19 year old son since he left school at 16, he seems to pick up casual jobs but that's about it, nothing real. She's absolutely skint now as she needs to provide him with everything as he messed up signing on. It's ridiculous, I wouldn't give him a penny, she can feed him and provide warmth etc but that should be it, I think it's more guilt as he had a rough upbringing with his dad being alcohol dependant, she's trying to make up for the past but instead is encouraging him to be lazy, disrespectful and clueless about the world. I'm sure your son will know you are disappointed but really at 19, he's on his own as far as luxuries are concerned.