Independent education?

[Deleted User]

I've got friends who went to the same private school.. one went to Cambridge to study medicine and is now a surgeon. My other friend went to a good uni, but got a 3rd, ended up in a basic admin job since then.

It's not the school that matters; it's the child and their drive

mrcow

Seriously, I think it's one of those "let's agree to talk about this when....." subjects. Making decisions on education this early is a little premature because you could both well have a change of heart/circumstance before it all arises.

The best thing to do would be to be saving in case it is the way to go for you both, but whatever decision you make will be the right one at the time. Trying to make it now is too difficult as there are too many "what if?"s

FBaby

GlasweJen wrote: »

I actually agree and this came up completely by accident. Apparently private education is the only way to a good start and will "set baby up for life". I'm the weirdo for thinking our local schools aren't that bad (and the one where we are planning to settle is excellent).

It is sensible to think of it now from a financial sense, I don't think we would spend as much on a wedding if I knew in 5 years time I'd be spending £7k + on private school/nursery fees.

What's 'setting someone for life'? My partner went to the best private school in the area which has a very high reputation, and he isn't more successful than I am. His English is appauling! Saying that, he isn't an academic person and was quite a naughty boy (still is in some ways), so maybe it is the case that had he gone to the local school, he would have ended up a bum when he is now doing quite well.

That's the problem, you will never know how worthy it was because you could only do so by comparing both paths which clearly wouldn't be possible. Hence why I really think the decision needs to be made depending on the child at a given time.

FBaby

I don't think we would spend as much on a wedding if I knew in 5 years time I'd be spending £7k + on private school/nursery fees.

Don't forget that you might need to multiply this as if you send a child to private school by principle, it would apply to all the children and the 'that's won't be an issue, I definitely will only have one' is often laughted at by those who said it after they have their child and they love it so much, they are desperate for another!!

Sezzagirl

If this issue is a real deal-breaker, then it might be worth doing some investigation about the school itself as it seems that your partner is set on this school rather than private education as a principle

I have friends whose children went to private schools and some of the schools were lovely - just like very good ordinary schools with small classes and a lovley attitude, others weren't!

It sounds like you have a long road to go before then though!!

valk_scot

Another Scottish mum here. OH and I are both products of private education and were in total agreement that our kids would be going to the local high school, wherever that was when the day came. We've gone through with this too despite strenuous opposition by both our families and even the offer to pay school fees. Why? Because it's snobbish and elitist to send your kids to private education, the academic results are much the same and if you're not one of the rich subset within the school the bullying is horrendous, no matter how academically gifted you are. That was our experience anyway, it's been borne out by the experiences of a gaggle of nieces and nephews in private schools in recent years and guess what? Our kids, the ones in the fairly ordinary local comprehensive are the ones who are coming out best academically. I and OH both belive it's the home influence that is the overwhelming one when it comes to academic sucess (and all the rest) and we've provided that, we hope.

But I know what you mean...it's the second or third thing you get asked at parties round this way, isn't it? What you do, where you live and what school you went to? That's you pigeonholed instantly! A load of f-ing tosh imho.

Best advice? Don't bother to overthink it atm. First get the kid or kids, then if you really don't want the child to go to private school start getting your arguements lined up. The curriculum for excellence may not exist in 12-15 years time of course but the financial pros and cons are pretty easy to count up, as are the arguements about elitism and snobbery. (Or not, depending on who is doing the argueing.) Also where else would your child go? There are some very good state schools in Glasgow OI'm told, why not plan to move into catchment? It may of course end up in stalemate, so you need to think about what you'd do then.

And on a final note, grandparents do not get a vote in this because they're not the child's parents. Surely?

notanewuser

I agree that it's FAR too early for these conversations. You don't even live together yet.

I was convinced of so many things before DD arrived - and they've all been turned on their head. She was going in her own room as soon as possible - we coslept for almost a year. I was going back to work - I took redundancy. She was going to nursery - at 27 months she's still not in nursery. She was only having traditional wooden toys - you can't move in my living room for her cuddlies, drawing stuff and mountains of duplo.

They start school early here, so I'm thinking about it now. What I thought would be very very easy is turning out to be a bit of a head cracker!!!

SuzieSue

If you can afford it (and as it looks like his parents are going to help so you should be able to), then I would certainly put your children in an independent school. When the time comes you should ensure that you are happy with the school your OH went to, but if not, you should make it clear to him that you will both choose an independent school which is more suitable.

If you are worried about your children mixing children who go to state schools then you can organise your weekends so they do that if you want to.

You shouldn't consider your own political views when it comes to your children's education - you need to do what is best for them and if the best school for then is in the independent sector then that is where you should send them.

Mojisola

SuzieSue wrote: »

If you can afford it (and as it looks like his parents are going to help so you should be able to), then I would certainly put your children in an independent school.

Surely, a decision like that has got to depend on the quality of the private school and the local schools? Not all private schools provide a good education.

I'm another one who would advise making the decision nearer the time.

SuzieSue

Mojisola wrote: »

Surely, a decision like that has got to depend on the quality of the private school and the local schools? Not all private schools provide a good education.

I'm another one who would advise making the decision nearer the time.

That is why I said that nearer the time they should ensure the school they choose is suitable for their children both academically and in other ways.

There is no way the best state schools can compete with the best independent schools when it comes to facilities.