Nailing a compulsive liar

sparky2012_2

I wont go into details but my partner and i separated a few weeks ago because i couldnt cope with anymore of his 'stories' and what appear to be lies.
unfortunately i still dont know if some of the things he has said are still true or not and wondered if you could help me by answering the following questions with any knowledge you may know on things.

1. If someone worked for Tescos direct as a hgv driver wouldnt they get a paper contract given ? also wouldnt they get wage pay slips ?

2. If you someone had points on their license is it possible still for someone to get a HGV licence and a job driving for tescos direct ?

2b . If you were an haulage driver for tescos direct would they buy you a george asda coat to wear as part of your uniform and not pay your wages but yet give you a cash converters christmas bonus voucher of £50.00 ?

3. If someone had cancer and was recieving radiotherapy wouldnt they surely get hospital documents or appointments through the post ? and even some sort of medication ?

4. If an account with re-morgaged money got frozen by the tax office four years ago, would it still be possible for this person to get bank statements of this account - to show what is in the account ?

5. if you are diagonosed with a leaking appendicitus would you be able to keep delaying the operation for weeks ? and then suddenly feel better and not go through with the operation ?

6 If you were paying off a tax bill of thousands of pounds each time , surely the tax office would give some sort of reciept to prove these bills had been paid ?

7 if you took london transport to court over a bailiff turning up out of the blue with no letters sent to the property (due to an apparent parking fine ) could you be awarded £7,000 ? and also take the bailiff to court and be awarded £5,000 for the distress ?

Sorry those our my major questions id like to ask for now .. theres loads more and sorry they are crazy questions but my life has definely been crazy for the last 4 years ! I think i know the answers but when you have been for years in what is a bed of lies its really difficult to find any truths. Hes family are sticking by him, believe him and seem to think my accusations are totally ridiculous and that I have something wrong with my head. All i know is that since he has gone i seem to have some santity back. your help will be greatly appreciated.

claire16c

At a quick glance most of the above look like lies and youre better off without him!

belfastgirl23

I think you already know the answer. And have for a long time. He's the one that's nuts and you have finally come to your senses

Mojisola

sparky2012 wrote: »

Hes family are sticking by him, believe him and seem to think my accusations are totally ridiculous and that I have something wrong with my head.

All i know is that since he has gone i seem to have some santity back.

Keep hold of that sanity and let go of his lies. You don't need to know what's true and what isn't. He's not your concern any more.

His family will eventually have to face up to the situation because his lies will catch up with him at some point.

sweetsheep84

Most above are lies to me. HGV drivers tend to be asked for clean licences (even 3.5 ton too sometimes).

Let his family believe whatever they want. At lease you can choose not to be in with his lies.

Lexie

I can answer the Tesco ones.

No to the contract, these are not always given out. Defiantly yes to payslip they are sent to the depot but are usually left for the staff members to collect.

Really can't see an Asda George coat being given to the driver. They are usually told to wear their own clothes till uniform arrives.

Not being paid is a common one for new starters depend when they joined, how competent their personnel/wages is and if their not competent an not been paid then they wouldn't receive a payslip.

Not sure about the cash converts, Tesco as a company would not give these out only Tesco vouchers, they could be direct from manager (but not likely).

sparky2012_2

DUTR wrote: »

Are you sure you have not driven him away? Yes there are people who are compulsive liars and attention seekers, straight up though, ya can't be much of a prize yourself if that is all you can get, not all blokes out there are bad or liars, get out there and meet somebody new, leave him to the next victim.

But in answer to some of your questions
1 not necessarily
2 Yes
2b see 1
3 Yes but see 1
4 see 1
5 see 1
6 Yes but see 1

yes quite literally did drive him away and dropped him off at his friends.
and for your remark of ' i cant be no prize myself ' - maybe im not but i do know i devoted half my life to this guy who did seem honest , caring , trustworthy not just to me but to everyone - friends , relatives, family etc . his friends were proffessional people, teachers , business people and only now things have been coming out what was held back from me. I dont know exactly when all this happend but definetely bizarre things were happening during the last 4 years of us being together. I thought i had a good guy ! and yes sadly it has tarnished my thoughts.
i suppose i put those questions up there as i had 1% belief in him but i do worry now about his family if they are believing his lies.
and no we wont be getting back together.

zzzLazyDaisy

Sparky please put DUTR on ignore right now. He spouts a load of rubbish and you do not need to listen to it.... much less respond to it.

With regard to your questions - it seems to me that he has been messing with your head. Some people are pathological liars, and it is no good looking for rhyme or reason, because there isn't any. What is worse, they often talk themselves into believing their own fantasy stories, at which point it really is difficult to tell fact from fiction, because somewhere in their warped corner of the universe they persuade themselves that they are actually telling the truth.

Google 'gaslighting'

Good luck

Dx

DUTR

sparky2012 wrote: »

DUTR wrote: »

Are you sure you have not driven him away? Yes there are people who are compulsive liars and attention seekers, straight up though, ya can't be much of a prize yourself if that is all you can get, not all blokes out there are bad or liars, get out there and meet somebody new, leave him to the next victim.

But in answer to some of your questions
1 not necessarily
2 Yes
2b see 1
3 Yes but see 1
4 see 1
5 see 1
6 Yes but see 1

yes quite literally did drive him away and dropped him off at his friends.
and for your remark of ' i cant be no prize myself ' - maybe im not but i do know i devoted half my life to this guy who did seem honest , caring , trustworthy not just to me but to everyone - friends , relatives, family etc . his friends were proffessional people, teachers , business people and only now things have been coming out what was held back from me. I dont know exactly when all this happend but definetely bizarre things were happening during the last 4 years of us being together. I thought i had a good guy ! and yes sadly it has tarnished my thoughts.
i suppose i put those questions up there as i had 1% belief in him but i do worry now about his family if they are believing his lies.
and no we wont be getting back together.

Always put yourself 1st, it pains me to learn of people blagged by partners irrespective of gender.

lulu650

Sparky I'm presuming no.7 relates to your posting last year about bailiff's turning up. That alone sounds strange.

If he's working away from home in circumstances that you don't believe, are you thinking he has another home somewhere with or without someone else??

With regard to no.3, hospitals may differ but our local hospital give all the appointments for radiotherapy on one letter. They would be at the same time every day apart from weekends and include bank holidays. So no need to keep the original letter once all appts are put into a diary. Only lasts for a few mins. and every endeavour would be not to keep people waiting. It's the travelling/parking that takes the time every day.

Not everyone needs or accepts they need medication

podperson

Am not going to go through them all individually but it does sound like most of them are unlikely to be true at best.

At the end of the day though, you've separated now - does it really matter whether they're all true or not? You obviously have been living with constant 'tall tales' and drama for some time now which has led to a complete lack of trust in your ex. You say you feel like you're getting some sanity back now - so hold onto that and stop torturing yourself by going over whether every little thing he told you might have been true or not.