The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 12

Lilith1980

Hi all

6 AFD for me please Shaggy.

Off to view another house in a bit, got to go alone as OH couldn't get out of work. If I like it I am going to be brave and see if the rent is negotiable - never been one for haggling but if you don't ask you don't get.

Both OH loved the house from the pictures so hope it lives up to our expectations - OH says he trusts my judgement :rotfl: but I said he should go and view it separately if I feel like it's a possible choice.

mrsdee

hey Purple, I think the tiredness is completely natural and related. I cannot get enough sleep at the moment. I think it is because, for the first time in months and months, I am getting really good quality sleep which is not affected by alcohol and related effects of dehydration etc. So make sure you get plenty of sleep and look after yourself whilst you are readjusting to your new lower levels of drinking. You've made great steps so far already!

macpep1

Hi Everyone

I wonder if I might join you? Someone from the SW thread mentioned this one but it took me courage to come and admit I drink too much. I drink out of habit, usually a bottle of wine a night . I can go without it sometimes but I feel very down in the dumps when I don't have it, although after a few nights I did feel, happier and not snapping the head off my 2 kids, (11 & 6) & not falling asleep on the couch .

Big problem is at the weekends, sometimes one bottle isn't enough, I am not driving the next day so may have 1 1/2 or if DH has beer, I will have a couple on top of the wine. I don't get a hangover if I have only had a bottle, but if I have some beer or more than a bottle, I generally have a very sore head next day. I am embarrassed at putting this out in the open but I am willing to try cut down, if I can only drink on a Saturday night, I will be extremely happy, both my parents were alcoholics, my mum died a few years ago through drink, (she walked out when I was 10 & never made contact again I am 40 now, I only found out last year through a cousin she had died) my dad drinks in moderation now as far as I am aware (I don't speak to him), I am worried I will go down the same road . Thanks for taking the time to read & who do I tell what I am aiming for?

maman

tracy_36 wrote: »

Was in a wine monster mood last night, but managed on hot ribena

Tracy x

I'm another hot Ribena fan!:) having a hot drink makes me sip it rather than pour it down my throat. I found I was having too much caffeine in the evenings otherwise.

Deleted_User wrote: »

Managed to drink less last night and I've made a resolve to not drink until the kids are in bed.
x

Good plan purple. What you might find is if you leave it late enough to start drinking you'll resent wasting what could have been an AF day for an hour or two. Try going to bed early yourself or promising yourself a different treat (chocolate? relaxing bath?) when the children are in bed. Sometimes it takes an hour at a time, work on the days later.;)

mrsdee

macpep1 wrote: »

Hi Everyone

I wonder if I might join you? Someone from the SW thread mentioned this one but it took me courage to come and admit I drink too much. I drink out of habit, usually a bottle of wine a night . I can go without it sometimes but I feel very down in the dumps when I don't have it, although after a few nights I did feel, happier and not snapping the head off my 2 kids, (11 & 6) & not falling asleep on the couch .

Big problem is at the weekends, sometimes one bottle isn't enough, I am not driving the next day so may have 1 1/2 or if DH has beer, I will have a couple on top of the wine. I don't get a hangover if I have only had a bottle, but if I have some beer or more than a bottle, I generally have a very sore head next day. I am embarrassed at putting this out in the open but I am willing to try cut down, if I can only drink on a Saturday night, I will be extremely happy, both my parents were alcoholics, my mum died a few years ago through drink, (she walked out when I was 10 & never made contact again I am 40 now, I only found out last year through a cousin she had died) my dad drinks in moderation now as far as I am aware (I don't speak to him), I am worried I will go down the same road . Thanks for taking the time to read & who do I tell what I am aiming for?

Dear macpep. Welcome.

Reading your story, I could have been reading my own (apart from parents but my dad died partly through too much drink just recently). My drinking pattern was just what yours is and my goal, like yours, is not to give up, but to be able to cut down so that I can enjoy some wine on a Saturday night.

It is very brave of you to come on here and be so frank about your situation and I am sure you will find the support you need from the non-judgemental people on this thread to make some steps in the direction you want to go.

If it helps at all I can tell you that after having joined last month I have gone from drinking every day for probably years to drinking only one, or at most two, nights a week for the past few weeks.. Hopefully you will soon find that you feel happier and more in control of things. I dont know about you - although you hint at it in your note - but I got to the point where I didnt like who I was becoming after drinking ... after cutting down certainly feel more positive, happier, and resilient. And that is all in addition to the enormous amount of money that will be saved even in a short time.....

Do stick around, set a goal if you would like to of AFDs for this month (alcohol free days) and check in to see how everyone is getting on. Most importantly, be kind to yourself.

This thread is, I think, a life-saver - literally... :A

maman

:wave:welcome macpep.

It was probably me that mentioned the thread on SW, good to see you over here. Like you, I used to drink at least a bottle of wine a night. Fortunately, don't have that family history it was just a lifestyle thing and a habit. I know I should probably prioritise health and money but what motivated me to cut down was the empty calories. I hated being fat!!

What I found is that when I cut out drinking in the week (except for holidays and birthdays etc) my tolerance dropped too. I find that at weekends I often stop before a bottle is finished as I've had enough.

This doesn't happen overnight. It's difficult at first, you will feel crabby and deprived but it's soooo worth it!!

Good Luck.

macpep1

Thank you so much guys, I was worried about being judged, the only person who knows how much I really drink was my DH & he never mentions it much, just that maybe I should cut back a bit. Ok I am going to take the plunge here, for the rest of March I will say I will have 21 AF days out of 25 remaining, its just learning to stop after one & not be greedy.

Mrsdee I am a happy drunk but do get snappy around the 8pm mark if I havn't got kids in bed.

Maman - Hi :wave: I think it was you, thank you, I have taken the plunge now

I am not safe at night until its nearly 10pm & I know I cant buy alcohol. Usually I bat my eyelids at DH if he isn't working & he goes to supermarket for me or he will call on his way home asking if I want anything.

Tonight I will have a nice bubble bath & an options hot chocolate.

I know my health & purse will benefit in the long run, as will my general happiness, I was diagnosed with clinical depression by docs a few years ago but after a few months I stopped taking tablets as I still believe it was the alcohol so we shall see how I go.

Lilith1980

macpep1 wrote: »

Thank you so much guys, I was worried about being judged, the only person who knows how much I really drink was my DH & he never mentions it much, just that maybe I should cut back a bit.

You'll never be judged here macpep - that's why I love this thread as I know people won't make nasty comments, which I have found in some other parts of the forum.

I'd used alcohol for years to cope with difficult things in life - when I look back, I remember I had decided I would get drunk at a friend's part aged 16 because my mum and brother were rowing all the time. These things can start young eh

I am nearly 33 now, and just before new year 2012 I thought I'd give the January Dryathlon a go and I haven't looked back since. 70 days later and I am still alcohol-free

I also found out recently that my father died from his alcohol intake. He died 20 years ago so to say it was a shock was an understatement.

People are on here for different reasons, some to quit alcohol totally, some to cut back to more reasonable amounts. Whatever you are wanting to do, then you will get support here

Lilith1980

Viewed the house this morning and was really impressed - very excited!!! It has a conservatory and a proper garden - we only have a yard at the moment so having some grass is going to be lovely

OH trusts me so much he is happy to go ahead without seeing it. Only thing is the kitchen is tiny but we saw the photos beforehand online and we're happy to have a smaller kitchen for a nicer house. We spend more time in the living room anyway lol.

It's £200 more per month than we pay at the moment but is bigger and a lot nicer than our current house, which the landlord seems to be happy to leave in a state of disrepair

More importantly, we wouldn't have been able to afford it if we hadn't stopped drinking - so it's all come along at the right time!

The letting property just want to come round and see our cat (!) because they're happy to let the house to us on the proviso that he's not a saber-tooth tiger or anything wild/mad that's going to rip the walls off lol.

This is my cat...about as energetic as he gets (snuggled in against my OH) so I don't think they will have any objections

mrsdee

what fantastic news!! I hope you will be very happy in new your new home!!