The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 12

Miskyn

Well, thats the last day of april done and dusted, so sorry to read of sad news on here these last couple of days.... my sympathy goes out to you... and to stay pretty much alcohol free through it all.. massive respect.. My target of 6 AFDs was ambitious... but i did manage 5/6 AFDs for April.... Ive set myself a lofty target for may, 25 AFD's but im supposed to be saving money and boozing aint saving.... im not a stop at one kinda guy... so if i can spend the month avoiding the first one i might just do it!!

mackeroo

Dearest Shaggy, i have just read back the posts and wanted to pass on my belated condolences to you and your family. You are such an inspiration to many on here am im sure that that quality, amongst many others shone brightly for your Dad to see. Take care of you x

mackeroo

Hugs for you 41 (( )) you have been really tested over these past few months, but within these terrible times you have kept your AF head fixed on, well done

:wave:Maman, i do hope you are well and :wave:to everyone who reads this. Im glad to be back 'in the fold' im aiming to refocus in May and get racking up some serious AF days. I dont know about anyone else but i quite often catch myself at work dreaming about what wine im going to have in the eve! Its mad, i hope that it disappears soon.

macpep1

I done it, :j another AF tonight, was in 2 shops, stopped at wine both times as DH said are you not getting a bottle for our programme. I walked away both times and then when I got home, I was annoyed, told him I hadn't even thought about a bottle before he mentioned it:mad: he said give me money and I will go and get some....gave him £1 & sent him to garage for diet irn bru :D
So 14 AF's please Shaggy, I got a dancing sheep :D

This is the first time I have done 3 AF's in a row

satchmo...I got to that stage last year, was in a bad place, was even known to drink whisky, vodka etc which I never do and it was getting out of control so I made the decision at new year to cut it out....took me until February but I am here now and so glad of the support, you really ALL have been a godsend :A

Seems a few are having a hard time of it just now, this smiley to me always looks wrong but is supposed to be a group hug :grouphug: :rotfl:

graemecarter

Lilith1980 wrote: »

Hi all,

29 AFDs for me please.

41 sorry to hear about your auntie, I hadn't realised how many people you'd lost in such a short space of time. Look after yourself hun ((hugs)).

I know I have come on here wanting to totally abstain, but part of me is wishing I could have a 'normal' relationship with alcohol. And I guess normal in my eyes would be having one glass, enjoying it, and that being enough. I really would have liked to have toasted our new house with a glass of wine, and OH said he wished he could too.

I have a huge fear that if I have just one drink, it will spiral again. Just like I know that if I have one cigarette I will be back on them again after 4 years of being off them (coz that has happened before when I have given them up).

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Anyone abstaining and feeling similar?

I don't think I am ready to touch alcohol again just yet, maybe I never will be. Maybe I'm wishing for something I'll never have. Maybe it's about not having an emotional relationship with alcohol, but I think it's too early to test whether I can have 'just the one'.

I actually feel quite upset about this - I don't feel 'normal'. And I don't think this is just to do with the alcohol; I had an eating disorder in my 20s and my relationship with food is a lot better but I still have to be aware that food can be a coping mechanism for me and if I feel stressed/bored/angry then I can stuff food down me to block these feelings out. I am more aware of this.

However, I wish I could just get on with life, eat, drink and enjoy these things 'in the moment' without them being a crutch for my emotions, without abusing them. At the moment, I am analysing everything to do with them. I am better at expressing my feelings and allowing myself to be upset, but it feels like I am trying to stay in control and be alert as to 'why' I am eating things, and 'why' I am fancying a drink. I know being alert is good but it's tiring

Sorry for ranting

I wanted a normal relationship with alcohol as well. However, for me, that's not going to happen. I want the second drink more than the first, the sixth more than the fifth, etc etc When I put alcohol in my body, I have a craving for more, and don't want to stop. I don't think I ever went to the pub, had a couple of pints and left to go home feeling that I'd had enough and was totally satisfied.

I tried to drink 'normally' for many years, and it was a full time job in my head. However, I couldn't do it.
I have no advice on moderation or cutting down. All I know is that I cannot do it.
When I finally accepted that I couldn't drink alcohol at all, it was a relief as I didn't have all the noise in my head about "Just the one....it's your birthday so have a drink.....they are having a couple so you can to..."

However, I had to change (and stay changed) so I feel I like I can do life quite happily without alcohol. If I wanted to drink and was white-knuckling it all the time, I'd succumb eventually. The noise in my head would get too loud.

Good luck for whatever you decide to do - my life is far better without alcohol in it, but I do occasionally want to have a glass of wine or a beer, but these thoughts go quickly.
People with eczema don't question all the time why they have it, they just get on with it, and that's what I need to be regarding my relationship with alcohol. It is what it is (for me) so I need to do what I need to do to not drink.

The_Boss

Sorry to hear everybody's bad news (must admit I usually just post and run rather than read) and hope better times are ahead for all.

I went alcohol free in April, my second complete month of the year and have 'only' drunk alcohol on roughly 18 days this year in total.

Now onto a booze free May

Imagnu_2

macpep1 wrote: »

Why the sigh :rotfl:is it because its Monday again???

yes, and another week passed and still nothing done about the huge debt, nothing decluttered out of this pigsty of a house and an abject failure on the AF's for April. :(:(

Imagnu_2

I'm going to try approaching this from the other direction so I will be TF for May please Shaggy

41_and_i_know_it

Dad not well, been crying last night and this morning. Looks like he will be going into respite care.

Lilith1980

Hi all, 30 AFDs for me please

Hope everyone is having a good day - got 63% for my exam at uni so a Merit. Only 4 more essays to do!