The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 12

shaggydoo

April :-

= 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF

= 28 days AF

= 31 days AF

= target achieved



Arsenal Barney /10

Barny1979 4/28

CuppaTea 2/24

Gien 2/TF

Idris /14

If At First /23

Imagnu /22

Lilith 3/30

Mackeroo 3 /12

Macpep 3/25

Maman 2/10

Mari /TF

MrsDee /16

priceySOS

PurpleMumof2

Satchmo 4/30

Shaggy 4/17

Spongy /19

Sophietb /14

StupotStu 3/14

The Boss 3/30

Tracy 1/11

Unself /30

41 and I know it 3/30




Everyone Welcome!

Please highlight your AFDs in Red

Don't hesitate to let me know if I've got your AFDs wrong!!!!!

shaggydoo

April 2013 Challenge

SET YOUR

Everyone Welcome.

spongy

I have only just discovered this thread and think it is a great idea as I do think I need a bit of support to keep me on the straight and narrow.

4 years ago i recognised that I was drinking too heavily (anything between 7 to 10 bottles of wine a week, sometimes even more than that) I managed to get that right down. I had a month cold turkey and only managed this by going to AA. I am eternally grateful to AA and think they do a wonderful job of turning around lives. To remain in AA I needed to take the 12 steps. I struggled however even with step 1 which requires you to say "I admit that I am powerless over alcohol." I felt (and still do) that drinking for me is a habit and I had just got into a very bad habit that I felt I could learn to control. I did not think therefore that I was "powerless" and I needed to prove that to myself. I didn't go back to AA (often still think of them and miss them!) but I did put into place control methods. I stopped all drinking at home unless I had a friend round for dinner. That knocked out a huge amount of the drinking and meant almost every school night was alcohol free. Then Friday and Saturday I could drink what I liked.

The result was the weekly average went right down to between 2 and 4 bottles a week. I thought I was sorted.

About 2 years later I met my now boyfriend. He is teatotal. This is not through any anti-alcohol sentiment he just grew up with a slight cultural/religious orientation away from drinking and as he grew older and tried it he just didn't much like the taste, so it was a habit he never got into. On our first evening date I managed to restrict myself to one bottle of wine. I had been excited but nervous and whilst the wine helped with this I didn't feel it had that much effect - i had definitely wanted more and it was a struggle to limit it but as he was tea total thought i better had. I patted myself on the back. I really liked him.

He on the other hand was totally shocked by what he thought was a huge amount of wine going into one small person! We were getting on really well and then a few dates later he said he really liked me a lot but had never seen himself going out with a "heavy drinker" did I think I could cut it back a bit?

That was a big shock as I thought I'd addressed my issues and was cured from my heavy drinking! You should have seen me two years ago matey I thought. If any other man had said that to me I would have been out the door immediately and cracking open a big bottle of red. But I really liked him and I thought if it is a choice between him and the bottle I have to go for him.

Easy choice but difficult to execute! We have been together two years now and we've had a lot of good times, I think and hope we are in it for the long haul. I cut the drink way down and loved the effects of it. Lost weight, felt good, saved money. It is hard though even now to moderate drinking and after one glass I still find it hard to stop. Mostly I manage but the habit keeps seeping back and every so often I start to slip back into my old ways. It's so slight and gradual I don't even notice myself until suddenly I realise I'm back to polishing off a bottle and it barely touches the sides. Lately drinking has slipped back up, I seem to be drinking a couple of glasses Mon/Tues/Sun and about 3 or 4 glasses on Fri/Sat leaving about two alcohol free days. This is not bad given the past but way more than when I first met my boyfriend. I can see it is slipping back into a bad habit.

So that's where I am and now I've found this thread. There's four years of it to read though! I won't manage that between working full time and being a single parent etcetera but I will now resolve to take up the SNC (school night challenge?) I've counted them and there are 19 left in April. Fri/Sat I see my boyfriend and so this naturally limits the drinking.

So is there a post that explains your challenge and your abbreviations without having to read 4 years worth of posts?, do i put something in red? What do you call a boyfriend - DBF?!

19 AF days
SNC

Is that what I do?

Ouch just previewed this post - it's very long sorry, but now i've made this open declaration and bared my red wine drenched heart I can hardly go back on my word.

Good luck everyone.

*Mari*

Morning all

I still haven't managed and AF day for April so hoping today will be the first! Last night I finished the leftover wine from Tues (about 5.5 units I think) thats it gone now. So my plan is to not buy any when i go shopping and then when I go out to just take enough cash for what I need! We have nothing major planned over the weekend so fingers crossed this will help me kick start a run of AF days.

spongy - Hello and welcome :wave: what an open post, you certainly have come a long way and will certainly get lots of support from this thread. Shaggy will be along later and pop you on the list. Not sure the SNC is being run formally at the moment but lots of people use that as a baseline. Good luck

Some great posts yesterday, can really relate with the ones about going away. That is one of my targets to have a much more sober holiday this year and maybe actually do and see things other than the bar!

Have a fab day everyone.

Mari xx

Lilith1980

Hi all 3 AFDs for me please Shaggy, thank you

Internet has gone down at home - we're both thoroughly fed up with being in that house now, it feels like it's falling apart lol. I chased the agent yesterday to see about the new house but they haven't called me back - and yet the website is saying the house is let! I hope that means it is for US and we haven't been scuppered like last time!

Almost the weekend - we're seeing Derren Brown on Saturday night and we're 3 rows from the front! Can't wait!

maman

:wave:spongy

Thanks for describing your story. It made interesting and familiar reading. Ironically I had a few issues on this thread years ago when a giver up seemed to want everyone to admit to being 'powerless' or similar (now on my ignore list). I knew I wasn't. For me it was a habit, a lifestyle I had dropped into.

We're having a break from formally recording the SNC at the moment so we just have a monthly target and post daily (or as often as possible) each AF (alcohol free) day that we clock up. If you want to go one day at a time then you can be TF (target free) but still clock up the days. It's easier for Shaggy if you post your days in bold and red so it stands out from the supportive chat (which is welcomed:)). You can call your boyfriend what you like on here!!OH and DH are among the polite ones!!:rotfl:

I have my drinking organised a bit like you. I tend to drink at weekends (with exceptions for holidays and special occasions). I did this because (unlike my DH) I really don't like to be limited to a couple of glasses. BUT, what I've found over time is that my tolerance for drinking has gone down. I often stop now after a couple of glasses because I've had enough.

spongy

Thank you for the support. First steps towards my target of 19 AF days in April. Have poured remains of bottle of red into 2 silicone cup cake cases stuck them in the freezer for flavouring food. Today is my first AF day of April.

Off to the museum with the kids with money saving packed lunch!

X

tracy_36

Welcome spongy, very moneysaving on the remaining red wine

I finally have 1AF for April, hoping tongiht will be the 2nd as fella coming over

Hope you are all well

Tracy x

41_and_i_know_it

Hi and welcome spongy, I really enjoyed reading your post, it sounded like you were in the same room you really have a way with words, so heartfelt and truthful. I can relate to most of what you said, I find it really gradually creeps into normal life so I haven't drunk since 14th Feb and I know if I start that it will be hard to stop and if I do stop that I will make excuses and then the days I drink will increase and the amounts, and the strength until I end up back where I was where if anything gave me an excuse to drink I would drink, I am weak but I am now in a slightly more controlled way of thinking. I haven't drunk anything but if alcohol was drunk, how would I start regarding alcohol again as not so bad.

The_Boss

I'm stuck in a bit of a rut. Always find the first two weeks to be the most difficult whenever I have abstained for 4-12 weeks. But this time I'm stuck in the flat bored out of my head and I'm hoping that doesn't haunt me this weekend.

These things are so much easier when you don't think about them.