What do you do in the evenings?

Hopelass

Hi Op

I could have written your post! My OH drives me insane fidgeting and "messing about". I have been called lazy in the past by his mother :eek: however I work a 40 hour week and come stright home and am cooking/washing up until around 7pm so then I sit down.

I do not think you (or I) are lazy!! It's is different peoples' ways of winding down I suppose.
When I mess on my laptop and watch tv of an evening or go and have a bath OH used to get really annoyed but now he has stopped going on at me once I pointed out the above reasons and now he will either get his weights and and do some of that downstairs so we are still together and he can make random comments about whatever I am watching or he will do the ironing (bless him) again whilst making derogatory comments about my choice of tv or he will get his guitar and start strumming. That's very nice whilst I'm in the bath but when I'm trying tp watch something, not so great!!

It's all part of give and take and living together; if you want to chill, do so and tell your OH he is quite welcome to find an activity to do!! Put the ball in his court :cool:

daisiegg

My OH works very long hours so our evenings are quite short. He gets home usually between 7 and 8, and by then I have done any schoolwork that needs doing (I am a teacher too and yes we do bring work home), done any housework and cooked dinner. He gets home, we eat dinner together usually in front of the TV (REALLY bad habit to have got into) and watch something. We have certain series that we record and watch together; we never just watch whatever's on for the sake of it. We talk a lot too, though it may not sound like it! We usually go up to bed between 9 and 9.30, read or chat or watch a box set or whatever, and lights out by 10.30 at the very latest (usually 10!).

OH plays guitar so he enjoys tinkering with that if he doesn't feel like sitting with me. I don't really have any hobbies, I am boring! Sometimes we will play board games or just talk. At the moment there is a bit of a lull in terms of TV series we watch (and we will never turn the TV on without something specific to watch) so we have just been sitting and talking a lot in the evening in front of the fire, which is nice.

We don't often go out on a week night although we sometimes go out for dinner or, rarely, go to the theatre on a week night, but if we do that we usually stay over in London.

We get up between 4.30am and 5.30am so we're both knackered in the evening, not a chance of either one of us wanting to be doing other things!

I agree with those who say it is not your job to entertain your OH though - have you actually asked him what he wants to be doing?

meritaten

Loobysaver wrote: »

I think you've hit the nail on the head there. He does moan about it being dark and not being able to go out and cycle etc. I did mention about buying home exercise equipment but he wasn't keen. Roll on till Summer is all I can say:D

With reference to my kids and him not being used to it etc. We've been together 4 years and he has kids from a previous relationship too of much the same age who we see most weekends. We also have every other saturday night on our own and always do something together.

I am enjoying reading your posts and getting an insight into all your lives and am kinda relieved I'm not alone in liking doing nowt in the evenings lol:rotfl:

I didnt say I did nowt! so far since October I've crochet'd four blankets for the grandkids beds..........hand made 60 Wedding Invitations for Sons wedding in June and am planning the 100 or so Evening Invitations, learned to Braid using a board and made some lovely beaded bracelets, knitted a few doll outfits and still found time to haunt MSE! while OH watches carp on TV, while moaning about what rubbish it is, and constantly gets up and down and fidgets and drives me nuts!
OH doesnt like to eat dinner/supper til about 8.00 so I am cooking from about 7.00 usually unless I have premade it during the day and it only needs reheating!

VfM4meplse

If the kids are in bed why not have an early night too? There's never enough couple time

Johnny_Barnes10

Most nights if I'm not working away ok sit and get nagged to death by her :eek: FML!

emilykf

We don't have kids (just a cat ) and we don't watch TV - at all, we have a tv to watch dvds but no aerial so literally don't watch it! OH finishes work earlier than me and tends to go on his laptop till I get home, then we have a cuppa and a chat, cook tea (mainly me but he'll do something once every couple of weeks), then I wash up. The rest of the evening is spent either reading, 'cuddling' , listening to music together, sometimes watching a film, or one or the other of us on the computer/laptop. He's always got something to do though, we used to have a garage and a dining room, now we have 2 workshops in their place, so he's often tinkering with his bike, making parts etc.

People always say, ooh how to you cope without watching tv, don't you get bored? But in fact we barely have the time to fit everything in so god knows what it would be like if we watched tv as well!

zaksmum

My O/H can be like this too. Puffing and blowing and looking at his watch. Wants to go and see a movie when there's 12 inches of snow outside.

Usually he watches TV which keeps him moderately entertained, though the constant channel flicking drives me mad. He will watch something, flick through channels when the ads come on, hassle me to "look at this" then just as I show an interest in whatever it is, he changes channel again.

I swear he'd need to be surgically removed from that remote control.

red_devil

Loobysaver wrote: »

This small niggle is now starting to affect our relationship.

Basically, my OH doesn't seem to be content chilling out in the evenings after work.

We both work and we live with my 2 children, by the time we both have finished work and had dinner its about 7pm. And from that moment on he fidgets, sighs and paces:mad:

I am quite happy to chill out, watch tv, go on the laptop etc whereas he just makes me feel uncomfortable as he's not content. He works away some of the time so is unable to commit to any clubs, adult education etc as he never knows when he will be home.

Am I the lazy one as I'm happy doing nowt?

What does everyone else do in the evening?

I don't know how much more of this I can take:eek:

winter evenings its nice to chill out in front of the fire there isnt much else to do anyway

summer is different its nice to get outside in the air your oh will have to ride the winter evenings like anyone else?

red_devil

Loobysaver wrote: »

Reading all your replies so far makes me feel that it is not me that is the wrong for chilling so I don't know what he wants.

He is a lot happier in the Summer as he goes out for a cycle ride or works on his motorbike etc.

I just don't know why he isn't content being at home in the week. He hasn't got many friends around here. Most of his friends are through work and they live all over so he either chats on the phone or sees them when he works in their area.

Whenever I go round my friends houses, their hubbies are playing xbox or glued to some rubbish on tv or watching dvds.

Now, he's just announced he's going to have a shower and go to bed because "there's nowt else to do".

I give up!

why isnt he content just being with you.

Welshwoofs

I have to admit that I would go nuts sitting in front of the telly every night after work. I generally finish work around 7-7.30 (but can be later), make dinner and then settle down to some hobby or other.

So I can understand him being frustrated but by the same token it's not your responsibility to find hobbies for him.