What do you do in the evenings?

Make-it-3

He hasn't been introduced to the addiction of the MSE forums then!

podperson

You're not strange for wanting to chill out and do nothing - but it's personal preference and some people like to feel like they're 'doing' something. Me and OH don't tend to like to do the same things in the evenings, tbh we both do a lot of freelance/self-employed work so frequently one or both or us will be working but if not I'll tend to go on the computer, maybe read or watch a film (though I too find it a bit hard just to sit and watch tv, I'll have it on in the background if I'm doing something else) while he'll prefer to play on the ps3, do a bit of exercise, practice guitar. So a lot of the time we may be just doing our own thing - we do try and have a few nights a week though where we spend them together, so might play games, listen to music, just have a catch up.

It does sound like he needs a hobby if he gets frustrated being 'idle' so maybe he needs to have a think about what he fancies trying. What kind of things does he like? Maybe doing a distance course, learning an instrument, something crafty/arty? Failing that then next time he moans about being bored or having nothing to do I'd be pointing him in the direction of the housework/diy/odd jobs etc

Gavin83

I've got loads of hobbies, I think they're a really important part of life. What sort of things does he enjoy? Have you told him to find himself a hobby?

Peater

Perhaps get him to sign up to some sort of big challenge (Cycling/climbing/marathon etc) that will require several months of physical preparation.

That will give him something to do.

andygb

I think that this may be just the "Winter blues". Like myself, he doesn't want to be cooped up inside a house, sitting in front of a telly. He wants to be more active, but it isn't possible at the moment - and it is frustrating, because you feel like one of those big, caged animals at a zoo who just pace around their cages, longing for a real bit of freedom.
My OH and I have joined a gym (2 weeks ago) and we try to go in the evenings and weekends, but this week has been a complete loss with access to our road only clearing yesterday.
The OP's OH just needs to get out, get some fresh air and stretch his legs a bit - its called LIVING!

LannieDuck

You could suggest he does some housework. I always manage to find displacement activities when the housework needs doing

DS4215

Could he join a gym? - with the right chain he could also use them when he is working away. Or he could get an exercise bike/turbo trainer and get his cycle ride in without leaving the house.

Dunroamin

Are your children old enough to be left on their own? Do you go out together (cinema/pub/theatre/concerts/etc) at weekends?

nickj_2

you haven't said how old your kids are , but i got involved with the school pta and youth club and village fete comittee when my kidswere at the appropriate ages , met loads of people , who didn't necceesarily become close friends , but it gave me a lot to do , and now i meet up once a week with a load of other guys to play footy .

JimmyTheWig

Firstly a practical suggestion...

Loobysaver wrote: »

He works away some of the time so is unable to commit to any clubs, adult education etc as he never knows when he will be home.

How about a course where he works, at least to some extent, at his own pace? I'm thinking of OU, for example.

Now a more personal question...

We both work and we live with my 2 children

I presume, from this comment, that these aren't his children? That, in itself, shouldn't cause any problems but has he been thrown in at the deep end with this lifestyle, to some extent?
I think, for example, that pregnancy is a great way to prepare for a first child. Pre-pregnancy you can get out and do whatever you want. During pregnancy you are fairly free, but towards the end things get harder. Your life tends to change to some extent. You can't go out partying like you used to. In the final weeks you need to be close to home in case anything happens and so are out even less. Then the baby comes and, while obviously your life changes, it's not the big shock to your life compared with if you went from pre-pregnancy life to having children overnight.
Presumably, though, that's pretty much what your OH has done. One day he lived on his own and was able to do what he wanted. The next day he had two children to prioritise. Is the problem, then, that he feels like there is nothing to do because he is aware that the two of you can't just go out on a whim, or whatever. Even though you may not have gone out anyway, the fact that you can't might re-enforce that feeling.

Don't know what the answer is, if that is the case. But just something that came to mind.