What do you do in the evenings?

balletshoes

Loobysaver wrote: »

This small niggle is now starting to affect our relationship.

Basically, my OH doesn't seem to be content chilling out in the evenings after work.

We both work and we live with my 2 children, by the time we both have finished work and had dinner its about 7pm.
And from that moment on he fidgets, sighs and paces:mad:

I am quite happy to chill out, watch tv, go on the laptop etc whereas he just makes me feel uncomfortable as he's not content. He works away some of the time so is unable to commit to any clubs, adult education etc as he never knows when he will be home.

Am I the lazy one as I'm happy doing nowt?

What does everyone else do in the evening?

I don't know how much more of this I can take:eek:

what does he want to do after 7pm? does he have any ideas? on first impression, I'd say its not up to anyone else but him to entertain himself, or make suggestions as to what he'd like to do with his free time.

balletshoes

Loobysaver wrote: »

Reading all your replies so far makes me feel that it is not me that is the wrong for chilling so I don't know what he wants.

He is a lot happier in the Summer as he goes out for a cycle ride or works on his motorbike etc.

I just don't know why he isn't content being at home in the week. He hasn't got many friends around here. Most of his friends are through work and they live all over so he either chats on the phone or sees them when he works in their area.

Whenever I go round my friends houses, their hubbies are playing xbox or glued to some rubbish on tv or watching dvds.

Now, he's just announced he's going to have a shower and go to bed because "there's nowt else to do".

I give up!

cool - he won't be irritating you by fidgeting in your presence then .

LannieDuck

He could read a book?

Loobysaver

balletshoes wrote: »

what does he want to do after 7pm? does he have any ideas? on first impression, I'd say its not up to anyone else but him to entertain himself, or make suggestions as to what he'd like to do with his free time.

He has admitted that he needs a hobby but he does not know what?

I try and leave him to it, but watching him fidgeting and sighing puts me on edge then I can't relax. :mad:

Any

I honestly don' t think you are in the wrong or this is your problem at all.
HE needs to find himself something to do, you are not his personal entertainer.
hubby and I have different hobbies, mine is visiting friends, cooking class and being here, his is his bike and even when he is not cycling (he is only fair weather rider) he still goes to the pub to meet the other ones that did ride after their ride. Sometimes he just watches TV, often different from me as we have 2 and I like to sit in warm kitchen where he prefers cold front room.
I think he needs to find some friends in the area if he likes company. My OH's cycling friends vary- they don't all religiously go for every ride (apart from one lol, he goes in any weather!!) and there is always someone out.

jm2926

Loobysaver wrote: »

He has admitted that he needs a hobby but he does not know what?

I try and leave him to it, but watching him fidgeting and sighing puts me on edge then I can't relax. :mad:

That's his next present sorted -

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bike-Magnetic-Turbo-Trainer-Variable/dp/B004JO48K6

System

My usual Monday to Friday routine is sit down to dinner around 6pm and wash up, faff around watching telly till about 9 when i usually come upstairs and play on my computer.

Weekend routine is different. Hubby is home, plants himself in front of the telly after his evening meal and feasts on films and other stuff i aint really interested in so i go back on my computer. I dont mind him having total control of the remote the weekends as he is away all week and i watch enough television in the week.

VK-2008

why not tell dh to go get gym membership he can go when he wants and no massive commitment

me and dh change all the time what we do, i work shifts so it always changes
some nights we watch dinner, go shopping, go walks, laptop, read, tidy spend times with friends we do some things together and some seperate

Tiglath

I'm not usually home till 7pm while he's generally home by 4.30. We usually faff around on the internet before and after dinner, along with bits of housework and the odd TV programme. From tomorrow I'll be adding in regular home study for a work qualification as well so my evenings are full. Neither of us does anything regular in the evening, although DH occasionally has charity meetings - we're usually too tired and head for bed by 10pm. Basically we aim to survive until the weekend.

Sambucus_Nigra

Loobysaver wrote: »

He has admitted that he needs a hobby but he does not know what?

I try and leave him to it, but watching him fidgeting and sighing puts me on edge then I can't relax. :mad:

At the moment his hobby seems to be annoying you. Tell him to go empty the bins, change the bedding, rinse out the drains, plait some steam...anything but annoy you with his fidgeting.

P.s. I do the same, hence having done a degree, post grad dip, management quals, learnt some Japanese, photography, and started several businesses and selling online, all whilst working full time. But I appreciate its my issue, not his and I rarely can sit there for a whole 30 mins watching tv.