What do you do in the evenings?

Loobysaver

This small niggle is now starting to affect our relationship.

Basically, my OH doesn't seem to be content chilling out in the evenings after work.

We both work and we live with my 2 children, by the time we both have finished work and had dinner its about 7pm. And from that moment on he fidgets, sighs and paces:mad:

I am quite happy to chill out, watch tv, go on the laptop etc whereas he just makes me feel uncomfortable as he's not content. He works away some of the time so is unable to commit to any clubs, adult education etc as he never knows when he will be home.

Am I the lazy one as I'm happy doing nowt?

What does everyone else do in the evening?

I don't know how much more of this I can take:eek:

sulkisu

Loobysaver wrote: »

This small niggle is now starting to affect our relationship.

Basically, my OH doesn't seem to be content chilling out in the evenings after work.

We both work and we live with my 2 children, by the time we both have finished work and had dinner its about 7pm. And from that moment on he fidgets, sighs and paces:mad:

I am quite happy to chill out, watch tv, go on the laptop etc whereas he just makes me feel uncomfortable as he's not content. He works away some of the time so is unable to commit to any clubs, adult education etc as he never knows when he will be home.

Am I the lazy one as I'm happy doing nowt?

What does everyone else do in the evening?

I don't know how much more of this I can take:eek:

Same here (before our boys came along). We found an easy solution. OH did his thing and I did mine. Problem solved .

liney

So what does he want to be doing?

I am a student, a wife, and mother, so have plenty to do of an evening. My DH is happy to shoot things on his Xbox or watch junk TV that i'm not interested in until 9ish, when I drop my books and we do something together. That might be TV, talk, boardgame, jigsaw, read... Admittedly we would probably go out a couple of nights a week if given the choice, but there's a 8 year old in bed.

Gillyx

Once baby is in bed we usually have dinner, tidy away the toys and days mess. Clean up the kitchen, bung a load of washing in the machine and that brings us up to about now.

I usually mess about on the laptop for a few hours, OH messes about on his computer. Nothing exciting. I just like having a nice hot coffee, with no noise or screaming or toys singing. It's bliss. The thought of having an activity or something to do after I've done all the stuff that needs done makes me feel even more exhausted.

Metranil_Vavin

We are pretty boring I guess. We get DS bathed and ready for bed (7pmish), and then make dinner.

We'll normally watch a bit of tv, and I'll go on my laptop for a bit, and often OH will go into the spare room and play about with his music making equipment.

On a weekend evening we'll often watch a film together, but weeknights we're both knackered after work/childcare and are quite happy to just chill in whatever way we fancy.

mrcow

We often decide on a movie to watch and do that together. But often, I have to work too (I'm a teacher so evenings are often full) so it's on in the background.

If he's bored, I'd get him doing projects. E.g. redecorating/painting/varnishing something or building something. How old are your children? Would they like a play table or train/lego table? Or get him to sort out all the photographs or CDs etc. I'm often giving my partner jobs to do. Or even cleaning stuff out?

Does he ever go out with friends? If not, perhaps you could encourage that a little more too?

We also play games etc. but tend to do this more as a family.

creditcarddebt

At the moment I am totally bogged down with work with it being January so have been working every night til around 10 - 11, that is after having sorted out the kids, one of which is 10 so she is pretty good at sorting herself, and the other is coming up 9 months so not so easy!! OH tends to plonk himself in front of the TV and fall asleep!

When it is not January normally its just a case of getting kids into bed, trying to get the 10 year old into bed by 8.30 so we can have some time without the kids, and then generally its just watching tv! I must admit I am probably happier to be home doing nothing whereas my OH does sometimes gets bored, but then he has more of a social life than me, which is something that I need to change! I need to get out more and do things aside from being a mum and wife, cos it gets me down at times! And also the time of year affects what we do, in the summer we will sit in the garden and have a drink and chat, i think sometimes the tv takes away any conversation. We don't tend to go out much together as we do not have the use of babysitters very often.

My life sounds very dull now I have written that down!

London50

Hi
I do thik your OH needs to find a hobby of some sort to pass the evenings away,something that excludes having to join a club ect. Like you I am happy to chill with the TV,internet,a book or music but my OH likes to find things to keep her mind active and once she stops she can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Personally I do not think you are lazy not wanting to be on the go from the time you wake 'til bedtime but we are all different and I think it is just that your other half finds they "need" to be active longer than you do.
I know it is hard but try not to let it get to you too much, we all have traits that our partners grow to dislike over a period of time but it would be a sorry world if we all liked the same thing.A good poiint with that is my OH loves quiz shows, dance shows ect while I cannot stand them so when she wants them I nip off and do my own thing in another room.
Try to go with the flow, if he's on his feet suggest you would "love a cup of tea" {3/5 mins peace ;0) }

Loobysaver

Reading all your replies so far makes me feel that it is not me that is the wrong for chilling so I don't know what he wants.

He is a lot happier in the Summer as he goes out for a cycle ride or works on his motorbike etc.

I just don't know why he isn't content being at home in the week. He hasn't got many friends around here. Most of his friends are through work and they live all over so he either chats on the phone or sees them when he works in their area.

Whenever I go round my friends houses, their hubbies are playing xbox or glued to some rubbish on tv or watching dvds.

Now, he's just announced he's going to have a shower and go to bed because "there's nowt else to do".

I give up!

Ladyhawk

I do very little beside make some supper (tonight was fudge and cinnamon biscuits...) watch TV, play on the Internet and read a book. And that's it. No cleaning, tidying or anything. I have a stressful job with long hours and can't face working in the evenings. Anyway I'm an early bird so much prefer mornings to evenings

meritaten

Have the same prob with my OH - its driving me nuts! Ive told him to find a hobby before he retires, cos on his days off he does just what your OH does! Sighs a lot, sits down - gets up, paces round the house, makes a production out of any little task and gets annoyed cos I am happy to sit and craft once MY work is done!
Every hobby suggestion has been met with 'I am not interested in that! will be interested in replies to this.
OH and please do not suggest that he does DIY! he thinks he is great at it - while I think the term 'jerrybuilt' was invented for him!