We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed
Comments
-
Snoopinggoose wrote: »Sorry? Arguing? You mean getting my point across! There is NOTHING remotely irrational or obsessive <-- ??? How do you get that? So everyone else whose commented numerous times does that make them obsessive as well? And aggressive? Oh you mean because I won't bow down and agree to what 'the majority' are trying to TELL me to do..
As for you completely understand why social services want to look closer at my situation, sorry but I don't think you understand jack, until you do more research and actually read this entire thread, it would be wise for you to keep quiet.
And no I have 1 child and 1 baby, not 2 babies, and yes I have a poorly partner, but not poorly in the sense he is incapacitated! You clearly haven't read all of this thread nor understand my situation!
And lets face facts the majority of you lot are holier than thou who think they know best for me and my family, who think because they post on a forum they know it all, well sorry to burst your bubble you don't and never will, now get off your high horse before you hurt yourself.
And regarding your comment 'Even with a loving and supportive extended family it is still a lot for you to cope with.' how more patronizing can you get? You don't have a clue about it allegedly being a lot to cope with, so let me put you in the picture, I have 1 child and 1 baby, a partner who is ill but NOT incapacitated, one who other than being diagnosed with a progressive illness does feel healthy and can do everything a 'normal' healthy person can do!
And it's not a lot for me to cope with at all! It would be a sad day if it was! I'm a strong character and a strong person and if 2 adults can't cope with 1 child and 1 baby there is something seriously wrong with them! And even if I had to cope with 1 child, 1 baby and if my partner was incapacitated my support network is so great I would have no problems whatsoever.
So now your in the picture, go ahead and think about what you posted before you post such patronizing rubbish again!
Is this the sort of thing you said to your health visitor? It would certainly ring alarm bells with me.0 -
Imagine, for the first 5 years of your life, its just you and your mum, except for the odd occasion she meets up with a friend, and you see another child.
Then, one day, you are taken to a building you have never been in before. You are then taken to a room. There are 29 other children you have never seen before. And a strange woman.
This doesn't happen these days.
In some schools, reception teachers even go to the house for a visit to first see the child.
In anyways, the child will have gone and visited their classroom at least once and met with the teacher (probably with their parent in tow) and will know their name and where some of the toys etc are."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
Snoopinggoose wrote: »Sorry? Arguing? You mean getting my point across! There is NOTHING remotely irrational or obsessive <-- ??? How do you get that? So everyone else whose commented numerous times does that make them obsessive as well? And aggressive? Oh you mean because I won't bow down and agree to what 'the majority' are trying to TELL me to do..
As for you completely understand why social services want to look closer at my situation, sorry but I don't think you understand jack, until you do more research and actually read this entire thread, it would be wise for you to keep quiet.
And no I have 1 child and 1 baby, not 2 babies, and yes I have a poorly partner, but not poorly in the sense he is incapacitated! You clearly haven't read all of this thread nor understand my situation!
And lets face facts the majority of you lot are holier than thou who think they know best for me and my family, who think because they post on a forum they know it all, well sorry to burst your bubble you don't and never will, now get off your high horse before you hurt yourself.
And regarding your comment 'Even with a loving and supportive extended family it is still a lot for you to cope with.' how more patronizing can you get? You don't have a clue about it allegedly being a lot to cope with, so let me put you in the picture, I have 1 child and 1 baby, a partner who is ill but NOT incapacitated, one who other than being diagnosed with a progressive illness does feel healthy and can do everything a 'normal' healthy person can do!
And it's not a lot for me to cope with at all! It would be a sad day if it was! I'm a strong character and a strong person and if 2 adults can't cope with 1 child and 1 baby there is something seriously wrong with them! And even if I had to cope with 1 child, 1 baby and if my partner was incapacitated my support network is so great I would have no problems whatsoever.
So now your in the picture, go ahead and think about what you posted before you post such patronizing rubbish again!
If you read Lesson Learned posts you would see that she also has a husband who is very ill so has a very good idea what you are going through and the additional stress this puts on family life.I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over and through me. When it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
When the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.0 -
notanewuser wrote: »
Health visitors are experienced nurses who go through a huge amount of additional training before they can be health visitors.
Really? The ones at my local surgery are a bunch of disorganised, seemingly uncaring, babbling idiots. Some of them don't even understand their own procedures, let alone being able to give sound advice on issues that stray ever so slightly from their usual script.
When I did see them for minor ailments, all they did with their faffing was to delay treatment that I could have got far more quickly if I'd just not bothered with them.
The only thing they seem to be able to do adequately is weigh and measure - and then some couldn't even get that right, being unable to plot correctly on a simple line graph!"One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
Having had my best mate crying her eyes out after her first baby, and hearing what her HV was suggesting as the way things are done; I agree.If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.0
-
Health Visitors vary, as do any other profession, and some of them are interfering and dogmatic, others are informative and supportive. I am certainly one who questions authority and motives, however HV's are the community link and have certain boxes to tick. OP has it occurred to you that a box exists, where a parent declines visits, that the family is automatically referred? Where a family chooses not to engage it will raise a flag and while it is everyone's right to choose it is the child's welfare that is paramount.
Once they realise that you are a fabulous, intelligent mother who requires no help, with a huge supportive family network where the children will never want for anything they can leave you alone giving them more time to deal with another fabulous, intelligent mother who protests too much and whose children are caught in a cycle of neglect or abuse.
OP your language on here is hostile I wonder if your jumped up HV has felt this hostility?The most potent weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. Steve Biko0 -
OP has it occurred to you that a box exists, where a parent declines visits, that the family is automatically referred? Where a family chooses not to engage it will raise a flag and while it is everyone's right to choose it is the child's welfare that is paramount.
Except there's not, as already explained by an experienced social worker on this thread."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
Health Visitors vary, as do any other profession, and some of them are interfering and dogmatic, others are informative and supportive. I am certainly one who questions authority and motives, however HV's are the community link and have certain boxes to tick. OP has it occurred to you that a box exists, where a parent declines visits, that the family is automatically referred? Where a family chooses not to engage it will raise a flag and while it is everyone's right to choose it is the child's welfare that is paramount.
Once they realise that you are a fabulous, intelligent mother who requires no help, with a huge supportive family network where the children will never want for anything they can leave you alone giving them more time to deal with another fabulous, intelligent mother who protests too much and whose children are caught in a cycle of neglect or abuse.
OP your language on here is hostile I wonder if your jumped up HV has felt this hostility?
Choosing not to engage with an apparent idiot is NOT a good reason for a social worker visit.If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.0 -
Except there's not, as already explained by an experienced social worker on this thread.
Maybe I am also an experienced social worker or health visitor, I must have missed that post? Not a box literally on a piece of paper, metaphorically speaking, as sometimes these boxes are ticked in ones head. In my experience where a family chooses not to engage it always raises a flag, that flag may not stay up but it always warrants a second look and due to safeguarding procedures sometimes there is other information that leads to a referral.Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »Choosing not to engage with an apparent idiot is NOT a good reason for a social worker visit.
I don't know if the apparent idiot you refer to is your friends HV or the OP's HV and whilst I agree, we do not have the full picture. When the SW visits it will be no concerns and case closed and then the OP can make her complaint.The most potent weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. Steve Biko0 -
I don't know if the apparent idiot you refer to is your friends HV or the OP's HV and whilst I agree, we do not have the full picture. When the SW visits it will be no concerns and case closed and then the OP can make her complaint.
I think you are missing the point that once on SS's list you are always on the list.
And being on the list for not having a HV round, and for not sending a child to nursery - is complete madness.
You are implying that there is a fuller picture - what do you know that the OP needs to be aware of?If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 351.9K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.1K Spending & Discounts
- 245K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.5K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.4K Life & Family
- 258.7K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards