Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed

POPPYOSCAR

As for the OP losing her temper my OH had to thump the table at a social services meeting to make the dozy lot sit up, take notice and actually take some action .

fluffnutter

The OP reminds me so much of this couple I knew. They were priceless!

When her mother died there was some discussion about whether the words on the gravestone were appropriate. So she took it up with the Archbishop of Canterbury ('Who does he think he is??' she was fond of ranting.)

Their favourite slights were all to do with perceived racism. They liked to go to India all the time (because it's dirt cheap) so were forever dragging their daughter out of school for six weeks or so at a time (they wouldn't consider going during the holiday, God no! Too expensive!). The long-suffering school would just say 'OK, but it's unauthorised absence' so they wrote to the governors pointing out that 'The school is RACIST. Because MUSLIMS CAN TAKE THEIR CHILDREN TO THE HAJ'.

The Brownies are RACIST too. Have you ever tried to find brown or yellow clothing in charity shops? It's just not fashionable! But MUSLIM BROWNIES ARE ALLOWED TO WEAR BLACK HIJABS. But WHITE brownies can't! Therefore the BROWNIES ARE RACIST.

They were great!

CH27

jetplane wrote: »

Wow so SS are damned if they do and damned if they don't? Do you have an axe to grind with SS or do you know the OP personally? Otherwise how do you know which camp their family fall into?

It's scary that some people are so anti SS.

POPPYOSCAR

jetplane wrote: »

Wow so SS are damned if they do and damned if they don't? Do you have an axe to grind with SS or do you know the OP personally? Otherwise how do you know which camp their family fall into?

Yes I have experience with SS as I have already stated in this thread with both family and a friend.

The experiences opened my eyes, I was very surprised what went on and so yes my opinion of them is not a good one and I can see where the OP is coming from.

jayII

fluffnutter wrote: »

And I think we can safely conclude that she's very much the type to KNOW HER RIGHTS

This, ^^^

lessonlearned wrote: »

I am sorry if you think I'm patronizing. Neither me nor indeed any of the other posters have patronized you. That is just your perception.

Many of us speak from our hearts and from our own experiences. We've had children and dealt with HVs. Some of us have also coped with poorly partners.

We speak from knowledge and experience.

this, ^^^^. Having an ill partner causes substantial psychological stress for all involved, something the OP seems to want to ignore. I feel for her, her OH and her children, for having such a chronic, and ultimately debilitating, illness to cope with.

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's not about SS though is it? Or health visitors. She'll have the same battles with the school when her children finally go. I expect she has the same issues whenever she takes her child to the doctors.

It's about that particular type of personality that loves to get outraged when they feel they're under threat in some way; that the world's organised deliberately to create maximum irritation to them, that everyone who doesn't agree is a 'jobsworth', or the 'internet police' or 'holier than thou'.

You see loads of them posting on internet forums. How do you think the Daily Mail manages to shift so many copies? Getting bogged down in the detail is an irrelevancy - the OP just loves a good old chunter!

and this! ^^^^

Most people start threads to hear other people's opinions on a situation they are unsure about, or struggling with. In this thread the OP just wants a good rant and is only interested in people who agree with her own point of view. Ignoring opinions different to hers is her right. It seems very narrow, boring and blinkered to me, but hey ho. That's my opinion, and I believe it's the best one, as is my right.

I wish her and her kids a good and happy life but I find her attitude irritating and I hope it doesn't end up causing probelms for her children.

jayII

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

As for the OP losing her temper my OH had to thump the table at a social services meeting to make the dozy lot sit up, take notice and actually take some action .

Yes, but losing your temper at people on an internet forum, just because they politely (in most cases) express a different opinion to yours, seems a tad extreme. It's quite natural to wonder how such a person reacts in real life--say when her 3 year old has a different opinion to hers.

It's probably all okay, but such strong reaction to faceless people on the internet does ring alarm bells for many people with a lot of life/people experience.

jetplane

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes I have experience with SS as I have already stated in this thread with both family and a friend.

The experiences opened my eyes, I was very surprised what went on and so yes my opinion of them is not a good one and I can see where the OP is coming from.

So you defend the OP on the basis of your bad experiences and don't doubt that she is being victimised? Yes I am also surprised at what goes on in Social Services and that's from the professional side. However they must never be blind because one slip and SWs have people like yourself stamping all over them. Reading the OPs comments on this thread I can see where the HV is coming from.

Sambucus_Nigra

fluffnutter wrote: »

The OP reminds me so much of this couple I knew. They were priceless!

When her mother died there was some discussion about whether the words on the gravestone were appropriate. So she took it up with the Archbishop of Canterbury ('Who does he think he is??' she was fond of ranting.)

Their favourite slights were all to do with perceived racism. They liked to go to India all the time (because it's dirt cheap) so were forever dragging their daughter out of school for six weeks or so at a time (they wouldn't consider going during the holiday, God no! Too expensive!). The long-suffering school would just say 'OK, but it's unauthorised absence' so they wrote to the governors pointing out that 'The school is RACIST. Because MUSLIMS CAN TAKE THEIR CHILDREN TO THE HAJ'.

The Brownies are RACIST too. Have you ever tried to find brown or yellow clothing in charity shops? It's just not fashionable! But MUSLIM BROWNIES ARE ALLOWED TO WEAR BLACK HIJABS. But WHITE brownies can't! Therefore the BROWNIES ARE RACIST.

They were great!

None of this is in any way relevant to social services investigating you because you don't send your child to nursery! What are you on?

Air_Cooled_75

OP, what was my mistake exactly? Were you making some kind of threat towards me?

I wasn't telling you what to do, you obviously missed the (albeit a little sarcastic) point.

You sound delightful.

(Yep, bracing myself for another pop now)

fluffnutter

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

None of this is in any way relevant to social services investigating you because you don't send your child to nursery! What are you on?

Perhaps you missed my earlier posts whereby I made the point that the detail of what the OP was moaning about was irrelevant - rather that she was the type of personality to have a rant about stuff. My post was an example of similar personalities and the kind of stuff they like to rant on about to illustrate just how much the detail changes, but the underlying issue remains the same - some people are just born to chunter.

I'm trying to see the wider picture - to encourage people not to get bogged down in whether or not SS can do X, or whether they're right to do Y, or whether you should send your child to nursery, or whether it's legal or not to do anything, because that's not the point.

Do you understand now?