Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed

POPPYOSCAR

I have just read through the deleted post where the Op states that the only concern is that the 3 year old is not at nursery and this is being referred to the education welfare.

This is outrageous - It is not compulsory and a waste of everyones time.

No wonder the Op is spitting chips.

POPPYOSCAR

poet123 wrote: »

I understand and sympathise with the fact that it can be tempting to react that way when questioned about decisions you believe to be personal, but I find it is counterproductive to do this with those who perceive themselves to be in "authority".

Far better to come across as having made a considered decision and as being quite prepared to defend that decision rather than unbending and bolshy. I have had my share of doing that over the vaccine question.;)

I quite agree - but this is easier for some than others.

How about the mother that had her child taken away from her because she would not say that her ex- husband had abused the child. Had she lied she would have got her child back.

She told the truth and paid the price of not having her child for I think it was 3 years.

Her ex-husband was found to be innocent and she got her child back in the end, but what a price she paid for her honesty.

FBaby

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Of course it was defensive! Once you are on the radar you are on and if it's just because your child doesn't go to nursery it's one hell of an affront.

If there were other concerns surely the social worker would be following up after the first visit?

And I found myself in the radar because my child has a birthmark that looks like a bruise, but instead of feeling personally attacked and defensive, I was pleased to see that SS are acting on concerns raised by healthcare/education workers.

FBaby

Molly41 wrote: »

Why has my post been removed ?
Sambucus has quoted it but the original is not there?
Neither is the OP response?

I said nothing in that post that deserved removal.

One of mine was removed too and I also didn't think it contained anything contentious, but then with the OP's own post removed, maybe there is more to it then seems.

POPPYOSCAR

FBaby wrote: »

And I found myself in the radar because my child has a birthmark that looks like a bruise, but instead of feeling personally attacked and defensive, I was pleased to see that SS are acting on concerns raised by healthcare/education workers.

It should not be a concern for education welfare that a child of three is not in nursery.

mrcow

I'd be a bit annoyed too. My heath visitors were all seriosuly inept. Highly trained professionals? Really? Most were completely useless and some were downright rude. All were overly opinionated/brainwashed. And none were welcome to turn up to my house under their own invitation. If any of them had referred me to social services simply because I'd made a judgement that they were a waste of my time, I'd be complaining about their behaviour too.

That's of course if it was the only reason they'd referred me.

One of them called me up when my youngest was about 3 weeks (they'd not visited or seen her at all at this point) and I told them I didn't want a visit. I certainly never got referred for it!

Also, nursery is optional. There are many reasons why a child wouldn't go to nursery. My youngest just preferred being at home with me, so I pulled her out once my studies had finished so we could spend more time alone together. There was nothing sinister about it and certainly nothing that warranted a referral to anyone!

That being said, once a referral is made, by all means make the complaint if need be, but you still have to comply with the referral, unless you want a heap of stress on your case. If there is nothing to worry about, then just go with it and certainly don't be getting all angry as it's serving no point at all.

As a teacher, I think home-schooling can be great for some children. We have lots of homeschoolers on this site and they all seem like very well-balanced, focussed and dynamic people.....parents who are home-schooling for the right reasons.......because they think it the right path for their particular children.

There certainly are others (not on here) whose reasons are a little more self-focussed and I guess this could perhaps be why the health visitor has shown concern.

squirrelchops

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I now know that with SS you have to say yes sir no sir three bags full sir to keep them happy and play their game.

As a social worker I have not ever or will not ever play 'games' with any children or family I am working with. My interest is to ensure that all children are safe and that their developmental needs are being met.

Back to the OP - as I have already mentioned, non attendance at a nursery would not even get through the first stage of our referral system. I truly would not give a monkeys if a parent chooses not to send their child to nursery - that is their choice. Hence why I would consider there to be more to the original story than has been divulged for children's service to have felt it necessary to visit.

poet123

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

It should not be a concern for education welfare that a child of three is not in nursery.

I agree, but we are really not privy to other issues which the HV may see as pertinent to that.
Perhaps the illness in the household is such that the HV feels that the child would benefit from outside interaction.

There was a post further up the thread from someone working in SS who stated that the reason given would not, on its own, be sufficient for a referral.

squirrelchops

poet123 wrote: »

There was a post further up the thread from someone working in SS who stated that the reason given would not, on its own, be sufficient for a referral.

That was me!

Racheldevon

Regardless of whether or not a HV or any other professional working with children has their own children, the guidance, advice and professional support they provide is based on the training they are given. A HV is a qualified paediatric nurse, with additional specialist training to become a HV. Their advice has to be evidence based, not based on their own experiences of parenting or being parented.

The threshold for even an initial assessment by Social Care is very high.