Since when are we not allowed to talk to the children?

Sally_A

I think the password idea is dangerous.....any confident !!!!! can manipulate the conversation.

Adult: Hello, chitty chatty chat chat.
Lost child: I can't talk to you without the password.
Adult: Oh yes forgot about that, you have to give me the password, your mummy said so..
Child: "dumplings"
Adult: "dumplings" wink.
Adult: so we both know the password, so it is safe for you to come with me.

StevenMarks

As a 35 yr old man I wouldn't talk to a child in that sort of situation; I'd get up and walk away without speaking.

If I saw a child alone and in distress I'd walk past without breaking stride.

In either situation, the risks far outweigh any benefits. Your child, your problem.

fawd1

jemb wrote: »

She shouldnt have been left outside the shop on her own!

Sorry but I completely disagree with this. She was 8/9, she is more than capable of being by herself for 10-15 minutes. Perhaps we shouldn't complain about how young people seem to be completely incapable of living without mum and dad, when we still think that at the age of 8/9 they're not capable of sitting on a bench by themselves for 15 minutes. By the age of 11 I was babysitting, walking the 2 miles to school every day, and left alone if my parents went out for a drink or dinner. And I have great parents, I certainly never felt like I had been abandoned. My parents allowed me to have responsibility as I went proving that I had earnt it.

jellyhead

fawd1 wrote: »

Sorry but I completely disagree with this. She was 8/9, she is more than capable of being by herself for 10-15 minutes. Perhaps we shouldn't complain about how young people seem to be completely incapable of living without mum and dad, when we still think that at the age of 8/9 they're not capable of sitting on a bench by themselves for 15 minutes. By the age of 11 I was babysitting, walking the 2 miles to school every day, and left alone if my parents went out for a drink or dinner. And I have great parents, I certainly never felt like I had been abandoned. My parents allowed me to have responsibility as I went proving that I had earnt it.

Yes, I think she's old enough to sit on her own for a bit - in a couple of years she'll be making her own way to high school.

bestpud

bylromarha wrote: »

As a primary teacher, some of the chattiest kids I know, those who'll sit and talk to anyone who'll listen are those who don't get talked with, or listened to, that much by their parent. You see the interactions they have when they collect them from the door.

Which is why when I'm out and about I make a point to continue a conversation with a child who starts to talk to me.

If I'd been in that situation (although hindsight is wonderful) I'd ask if she'd managed to buy the dress she saw 2 days ago. To show her I'd been listening to her child - and to try to show the best response to the child as she shouldn't have had to witness her mother having a go at you like that.

That's interesting - I'd have thought it would be the opposite, but thinking about it, that's how it is with a lot of the children I know too!

jellyhead

bestpud wrote: »

That's interesting - I'd have thought it would be the opposite, but thinking about it, that's how it is with a lot of the children I know too!

I find that children who are used to being given a lot of attention at home chat to me, but so too do the ones who don't get spoken to much.

Chatterboxes are delighted to find somebody who will listen to them, and I must admit I prefer chatting to 7 year olds than adults

victory

StevenMarks wrote: »

As a 35 yr old man I wouldn't talk to a child in that sort of situation; I'd get up and walk away without speaking.

If I saw a child alone and in distress I'd walk past without breaking stride.

In either situation, the risks far outweigh any benefits. Your child, your problem.

Surely that's a bit harsh? The child has done no wrong

victory

barbiedoll wrote: »

The thing that makes me mad about these stupid women is that they are often quite happy to find a boyfriend on some internet dating site, or in a pub and they will bring him home and then move him in to live with their kids, without knowing anything much about him. That's where kids are in most danger, not from random women sat on shopping centre benches. :mad:

That really is a very good point.

victory

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

I'd have told the woman that I was a mother myself, and clearly a nicer, more attentive one than her, the nasty cow!!

Hindsight is a beautiful thing;):D

Spendless

Sally_A wrote: »

I think the password idea is dangerous.....any confident !!!!! can manipulate the conversation.

Adult: Hello, chitty chatty chat chat.
Lost child: I can't talk to you without the password.
Adult: Oh yes forgot about that, you have to give me the password, your mummy said so..
Child: "dumplings"
Adult: "dumplings" wink.
Adult: so we both know the password, so it is safe for you to come with me.

No not a password to talk to someone. A password for if someone tries to entice them to leave as in 'your mum says it's ok'. Mine were given this at an age when they weren't too young or too dopey to understand that you don't supply it.