Since when are we not allowed to talk to the children?

sassyblue

Nasty, daft woman. Take no notice. It's a sad state of affairs these days and her OTT reaction might prevent you from helping another child who would need it day.

Gillby1

Judi wrote: »

'You really hadnt ought to talk to her' i told my husband.

I think this is a real shame:(. I have two young children, and they love it when people say hi and chat to them. I positively encourage them to talk to people and to be friendly, and although i will explain to them when they're older that they must be sensible etc...., I will not bring them up to be suspicious of everyone.

What sort of adults will our children become if we instill them with fear that everyone they meet is potentially dangerous??!:eek:

pelirocco

Spendless wrote: »

I've said it before on here and I'll say it again. I do not tell my children they aren't allowed to talk to a stranger, I tell them they are not allowed to go off with one. There is a difference! It's just as well I had this rule, as 11 months ago my son was assaulted near a field in the village we live, by 3 kids all younger than him. A group of others watched, egged on and 1 filmed it :mad: All the children concerned were known to him and had attended the same schools for the past 8/9 years. DS got free and went to a stranger for help, which he gave him.

I have a daughter of 9, she often goes and sits on a bench if we are out on a shopping trip as she gets bored of looking at stuff. She is perfectly capable of this as she's 9 not 2! She wouldn't have a problem chatting to anyone. We have a family password, so in the event of you saying something like 'I know your Mum, she says it's ok if I take you to x' DD would ask you to supply the password and when you couldn't she wouldn't be going anywhere.

Thank god , the voice of reason

andygb

lilymay1 wrote: »

Honestly? I can understand her reaction. Perhaps her daughter wandered off, mum was frantically searching for her and then found her sat on a bench outside talking to a stranger.

I do think it's a shame that this is how society is nowdays. Last time I took my son to the park a little girl started talking to me whilst my son was playing. I made sure to only answer her questions and not ask anything about her incase it looked suspicious.

I hope that you are in a minority, because IMO the OP did nothing wrong whatsoever.
You have also pretty much contradicted yourself, because it was not the OP who started the conversation it was the little girl.
The OP simply asked the little girl where her mother was.

At the end of the day, if parents are that paranoid, then they should keep better control over their children, rather than lose their temper at others when they fall short of their own expectations;)

elsien

Reminds me of a bizarre conversation I had to have a couple of years back.
Smallish child (7 or 8) roaming the streets either on her own or with younger brother, who used to stop and say hello to the dog - other than this I didn't know her from Adam. After a couple of times bumping into her, she was out one day, clearly bored and asked if she could come back to my house with me.:eek:
I said no, she said why not, I said because your mummy wouldn't like you going off with strangers. Her reply was that her mummy wouldn't mind and I wasn't a stranger. I said she didn't really know me and she shouldn't come with me because I might not be a nice person. She said she knew I was nice because I'd got a dog and always said hello to her.
I was then trying to explain that sometimes people pretend to be nice when they're not and that she should never go anywhere with anyone unless her mum said it was ok, all without trying to scare the living daylights out of her.
I did contemplate trying to find her house and explain to the parents, but I have to be honest I bottled it because I was scared of the reaction I might get.
It's all such a minefield nowadays when you feel that whatever you do it's going to be wrong.

julie2710

I think this entirely down to the mum feeling guilty! What an awful way to react to people!

I tell my little boys about the dangers of strangers but to be honest I talk to most people and I would not expect my children to be impolite and ignore people. I think it is lovely when my children interact with other adults but they know not to do it when I'm not there to make sure they are safe.

When we were on holiday last year my youngest boy who is 4 pretty much did the rounds of everyone by the pool. He would say hello and then strike up a conversation. I was always watching from a distance and if I thougt he may have overstayed his welcome I would wander over. Everyone thought he was lovely and would say "oh he's fine. He's told us he's here with hi mum and his older brother and he goes to school etc etc." I think it's all part of having confident and social children who are able to speak to all people on all levels. A fantastic life skill. It's all about balance though, something I think people have lost sight of.

Bufger

Try being a bloke. You cant even smile at a baby without the mother thinking you're a threat!

Own_My_Own

Sorry posting on phone so may have missed something.

Did you not confront the mother ?

I would have stopped her and loudly explained I was concerned for the child's well fare, beings as she was unattended. And that she really should not take her lack of parenting skills out on others.

cabriolean

It gets really interesting when you touch a child, I stumbled across a tearful 2-3 year old with no mother in sight crying outside the local corner store with their hands and knees grazed, near a road, so I of course asked where their mother/father was. They said they were inside, so I took the child directly to the tills, where the mother turned up and had a go at me for picking up her child. The thing is, the child was happy to be picked up and cuddled right in, even without the road nearby, anyone could have picked the child up. No one would have suspected anything from an 18 year old girl carrying a calm toddler.

victory

Thank you for all the replies:D varied and valued

First off until I googled female pedo iI didn't realise there was such a thing:eek:obviously the link I put on the thread in answer to a poster clearly says otherwise.

I think it is a huge shame a man cannot have a bee boo game without having stop just in case... Or smile at a baby....,.

I didn't go out of my way to seek out/speak to the little girl I was just sitting on the bench but as I have said any child boy or girl if the mother/ parent/ guardian was not in sight I would always ask, I have always waited to make sure they reunite, mothers instinct and a hope if it ever happened to me......

The mum was uninterruptable, I tried but whatever I said she talked over me, as said either guilt, fear ( I just don't see myself as a threat) or because she was not nice and should have not been looking for a dress when her daughter was with her? Inability to multi task?

Who knows? What I do know is this reaction will not stop me from having a chat to a little girl if it just happens, kids are funny:D