Since when are we not allowed to talk to the children?

barnaby-bear

Ames wrote: »

What about the risks of not doing anything and then turning on the TV that evening to see the child's face above the word missing? Which is a far more likely scenario than any real danger arising from speaking to a child and helping find the parent/stay with them while you call the police or security or whatever.

The risk that if he takes the kid to the station - midway mommy who lost the sprog points out that's my child, that bloke's taken him/her.... and the child's oh-so-coherent account means he gets finger printed, hauled off to be interviewed... who'd risk that!

barnaby-bear

julie2710 wrote: »

When we were on holiday last year my youngest boy who is 4 pretty much did the rounds of everyone by the pool. He would say hello and then strike up a conversation. I was always watching from a distance and if I thougt he may have overstayed his welcome I would wander over. Everyone thought he was lovely and would say "oh he's fine.

Ummm... did it never occur to you that even people with children find being annoyed by other people's on holiday quite annoying and bad mannered. We've passed over such interuptions and said it's fine, but then !!!!!ed about self-centred parents teaching little-Johnny that he's so important that random strangers want to hear about his beach towel! Teaching your children to be confident is one thing, teaching them to respect other peoples' space is a skill too!!

l0u1se

Me and my boyfriend seem to attract lost crying children all the time. Especially in places like IKEA! It is second nature for me to ensure they are ok, hold my hand out to them and help them find Mam or Dad.

I know there are some bad people around but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ignored a poor child and something happened to them. If I came across a parent that was nasty over it I'd like to think I'd give them a piece of my mind, however I'd probably be too shocked like OP.

Edit; my boyfriend is actually too scared like many other posters of the hassle.

lostinrates

Victory, I have been in this situation more than once. It's horrid. I love kids but do not have any, and I am always worried that I will appear like a child thief, so I too, herd rather than hand holds with a lost child and draw attention to the situation and get to a member of staff quickly. I often grin at smiley babies who then seem awed by their power to make a stranger smile back, and I chat to kids in front of their parents ( and their parents). If you give up I think the world eventually gets worse and worse and it will become self fulfilling that people all have little patience for each other.

marisco_2

Gavin83 wrote: »

As sad as it is, I don't think my view is flawed on this at all, the current hysteria surrounding child abuse could easily lead to the above situation, especially considering the level of mentally unstable people in this country.

I agree with you. If I saw a child in visible distress and alone, I would make sure I had another adult with me before I approached it and tried to help. It is a very sad reflection on society and the hysteria around approaching children that you have to protect yourself in this way.

I work in a school and we are strongly advised to make sure we are never alone with any child. You have to be so careful what you say or do. Even in the way you comfort a child if they are upset or have hurt themselves. Most of my colleagues and I are parents and the natural response to seeing a child distressed is to hug it, but that is a complete no go. Basically before doing anything we go by the mantra of 'consider if this would stand up in court'. How sad is that.

Ames

barnaby-bear wrote: »

The risk that if he takes the kid to the station - midway mommy who lost the sprog points out that's my child, that bloke's taken him/her.... and the child's oh-so-coherent account means he gets finger printed, hauled off to be interviewed... who'd risk that!

Where did I say anything about taking the child anywhere?

What danger will come of standing next to a distraught child and phoning the police? Or standing next to them and asking someone to fetch a member of staff or security guard? Or standing next to them and asking every passing person if they've seen someone looking for a child?

Justicia

Gavin83 wrote: »

As sad as it is, I don't think my view is flawed on this at all, the current hysteria surrounding child abuse could easily lead to the above situation, especially considering the level of mentally unstable people in this country.

Not flawed at all. I agree with you 100%.

katy721 wrote: »

I was terrified but remembered my mum always telling me that if I need help to ask a stranger, but to try and ask a woman with children or a couple.

An example above of a parent, or parents, encouraging the situation and fear that exists.

Not picking on Katy or her parent(s) directly; was the closest post that illustrated it.

Until society as a whole amends this way of thinking and the media (including the usual suspect) stop encouraging such thinking, it is not going to change and posters like StevenMarks and Gavin83 will be posting the same concerns...

Carl31

I cannot stand this sort of thing, people that are so OTT about !!!!!philes etc... ok, they exist, and bad things happen, but its not everyday, its not every child

For the record, anyone is welcome to talk to my children, I encourage it. I dont want them growing up fearing things that are not real. You may think 'well anything could happen, but I base my actions on sense

victory

Since posting the thread I don't give it a moments thought:I'm still going to be happily chatting to the kids that want, to smile and have a chat, I think other people's over reaction to things can knock the stuffing out of you and question ones behaviour but to be honest, I'm a chatty, friendly kind of person and in this situation I did no wrong, the mum can be negative, shouty and rude, she's not dragging me down with her:D

Justicia

I saw this on someone's Facebook status earlier this year; they were asking for holiday suggestions for them, their partner and small children...

"I've been warned against Portugal with blonde kids, cos of the !!!!!phile rings operating there! Makes you a bit paranoid?"

*sigh*

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