Since when are we not allowed to talk to the children?

victory

Justicia wrote: »

I saw this on someone's Facebook status earlier this year; they were asking for holiday suggestions for them, their partner and small children...

"I've been warned against Portugal with blonde kids, cos of the !!!!!phile rings operating there! Makes you a bit paranoid?"

.....

Think of how many millions of children there are and how often it actually happens?

shegirl

victory wrote: »

Thank you for all the replies:D varied and valued

First off until I googled female pedo iI didn't realise there was such a thing:eek:obviously the link I put on the thread in answer to a poster clearly says otherwise.

I think it is a huge shame a man cannot have a bee boo game without having stop just in case... Or smile at a baby....,.

I didn't go out of my way to seek out/speak to the little girl I was just sitting on the bench but as I have said any child boy or girl if the mother/ parent/ guardian was not in sight I would always ask, I have always waited to make sure they reunite, mothers instinct and a hope if it ever happened to me......

The mum was uninterruptable, I tried but whatever I said she talked over me, as said either guilt, fear ( I just don't see myself as a threat) or because she was not nice and should have not been looking for a dress when her daughter was with her? Inability to multi task?

Who knows? What I do know is this reaction will not stop me from having a chat to a little girl if it just happens, kids are funny:D

Of course there are female p'files! Are there really people out there who think only a man can be one?Jeez!

Justicia

victory wrote: »

Think of how many millions of children there are and how often it actually happens?

Exactly....!

milliemonster

Carl31 wrote: »

I cannot stand this sort of thing, people that are so OTT about !!!!!philes etc... ok, they exist, and bad things happen, but its not everyday, its not every child

For the record, anyone is welcome to talk to my children, I encourage it. I dont want them growing up fearing things that are not real. You may think 'well anything could happen, but I base my actions on sense

Totally agree with you on this one, my husband works with !!!!!philes (he is a prison officer) and the vast majority aren't strangers who have abducted children lost in shopping centres but children who are well known to them, members of the same family or very close friends of the family.

I have always told my children from being very little that they can talk to ANYONE, no child has ever come to harm just by speaking to a stranger, young children see things very black and white, teach them never to talk to strangers and what happens if they do get lost and separated from you? what happens if they need to speak to a doctor, policeman who they don't know etc?

I am mortified at the thought that if one of my children became lost and upset that members of the public would just walk by and not offer to help?

My kids have been taught that they can speak to anyone they please, but they must never go anywhere with anyone without myself or their dad knowing and running it by us first.

barnaby-bear

Ames wrote: »

Where did I say anything about taking the child anywhere?

What danger will come of standing next to a distraught child and phoning the police? Or standing next to them and asking someone to fetch a member of staff or security guard? Or standing next to them and asking every passing person if they've seen someone looking for a child?

If the child had wandered there... the danger that someone presumed I'd taken them there; the risk the child wasn't able to explain... the risk I'd end up fingerprinted and investigated, I work in schools sometimes - I could have that suspended (where there's smoke), facebooked by the local chavs, my own family investigated by social services while investigations on going.... I'm afraid physically standing near or approaching a lost child is on probability far riskier to a bloke than the chance they'll be abducted (as everyone says rare). If Mrs. B-B in tow then yes absolutely no problem would do the right thing.

barnaby-bear

Carl31 wrote: »

I cannot stand this sort of thing, people that are so OTT about !!!!!philes etc... ok, they exist, and bad things happen, but its not everyday, its not every child

For the record, anyone is welcome to talk to my children, I encourage it. I dont want them growing up fearing things that are not real. You may think 'well anything could happen, but I base my actions on sense

That's it if I saw a lost child I reckon the chances of something bad happening are not so bad but the chances of intervening substantially higher - being decked by an angry dad, or a mum like the OP met, and these accusations aren't the remit of the police anymore - facebook and the local gossip network are judge and jury!

barnaby-bear

Bufger wrote: »

Try being a bloke. You cant even smile at a baby without the mother thinking you're a threat!

... and yet if you take a baby out with you... all the mum's talk to you - because of course clearly kiddie-fiddlers can't have unprotected sex and father a child....

lindseykim13

It's very sad that this debate still goes on but to be honest i don't think much has changed in the last 20 or so years. You'll always have some who would rather walk past than risk getting invloved with a lost child. Just the same as there are some who will help that child without thinking of the any daft accusations that might come their way.
I also don't think there are any more weirdos about now than there was then.
Growing up with the stranger danger thing drummed into me it didn't help one bit just made me scared to go anywhere!

I would most deffinatly help a lost child being a mum i couldn't walk past, however i would never touch them or go anywhere with them. I'd use my phone to ring the police or ask another passer by to get some help.
At the end of the day all these places are covered in cctv these days if you are seen on it to be standing near the child and phoning or getting help from elsewhere you can hardly be accused of anything. You've not touched the child nor walked off with them.

I would be mortified if someone didn't at least ask my child if they were lost and just walked past. Likewise though i would probably freak out if i saw someone walking away with my child. So you do have to be mindfull of how you handle these situations which to be honest are pretty rare.
Best thing to do is get some help for the child then walk away if you wish.

I've always told my lot that if they are lost they go into a shop and tell the person at the till they are lost. They are then somewhere that will more than likely have other staff and customers.

ska_lover

Oh victory that is shocking! i am sorry you encountered this woman. I wonder if she would have rather you completely ignored her child (and was rude?) She practically accused you of being a kiddy fiddler, i would have been tempted to knock her spark out to be fair

I understand STRANGER DANGER etc, but if she is so concerned she should speak to her daughter about it!

I was in Asda last week, and a small boy of around 4 or 5 was stood there, quite literally screaming his head off 'MUMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY'' and was obviously lost. I stood next to him, and meanwhile another lady shopper wondered over, and we literally just stood next to him, to watch that no one walked off with him, but we daren't even try to lead him to the customer services etc, for fear of his mother accusing us of abducting him or something. This kid was really screaming and if his mother had been within a radius of at least five aisles she would have heard cos he was kicking off something mad, so we said a few soothing words to him, and hauled over a member of asda staff who went to do an announcement on the tannoy. A full 20 minutes later (i was timing cos i was on my lunchbreak and only get half hour) his mother appeared...roughly grabbed her screaming offspring, and looked at me and this other lady as if we had abducted him, honestly if looks could kill!! I was fuming cos if we werent there, he could have just carried on wandering and perhaps come across someone who didnt have the best of intentions....but this mothers attitude she clearly blamed us by the look she gave us!!

Hillariously enough, only ten days or so before, a young lad with learning difficulties was actually abducted (by two teenagers) from this particular asda store!!

abailey54

victory wrote: »

Think of how many millions of children there are and how often it actually happens?

Surely that's not a concern for parents - their child is abducted or whatever but it's okay, because it didn't happen to millions of other children. The fact is, it may only happen to one in a million, but you don't want that one to be your child

To be fair I think the comment about Spain is fairly idiotic - there's been plenty of evidence to suggest that we have plenty enough peodophile rings in this country to not be pointing fingers at other countries