Wedding dress code and other demands!

squirrelchops

Hi all

I have been invited to a work colleagues wedding that has a dress code - 2 choices of colours.

On asking a little more I was then told that the code is also formal attire and for ladies to wear long dresses (ie ballgown type dresses) and gents DJs.

I am already mentally totting up how much this is all going to cost and I don't wish to feel like a curmudgeon but it has taken the fun and excitement out of celebrating their day.

I feel a bit mean and should embrace their wishes but I also feel they haven't given a second thought as to how this will impact on their guests in terms of costs etc. Gosh I sound like a right scrooge but unless I want to look pants this is going to be big £££ potentially. I am going to look into hiring an outfit. It is not until next autumn so have time to save up too.

Has anyone else come across colour coded weddings or outfit demands? I wondered if there are certain 'scruffions' in the family that they want to smarten up for the pictures!!!

alwaysbrassic

It is a very strange request, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking that of my guests, I was just thrilled that they could attend.
In terms of what to wear, I would try your local charity shops. The larger ones especially will have a dress section. Failing that, eBay could give you more choice, although you won't have the option of trying on.

McKneff

Unless you can buy a second hand one on ebay, and sometimes they can be just a pounds, then I would say hire one to be honest.

Stop mithering lol. you wil feel absolutely wonderful swishing about.

Can you get me an invite, I would love it.....

squirrelchops

Mithering about....love it!! I know that is what my OH said! Having seen the invites and were the 'do is I definitely feel the word 'chav' springs to mind! As you said it should be fun!!

Person_one

Whatever the wedding magazines and websites might tell them, couples getting married don't own their guests for the night, they aren't directors of their own very special production!

If you knew them well, I'd have a quiet word and tell them that its too much of an imposition and too demanding. Remind them that theirs isn't the only wedding most of their guests will go to this year and that while its understandably important to them, it isn't the same level of priority for anyone else.

If you don't know them, then either turn it down or go but wear whatever you want to wear.

ellay864

I've never known of such a restrictive dress code. I'm assuming this is for the evening as you mention the long gowns? The only time I've ever known of a real insistence on a dress code was for daytime and for family ie the key photo people.
I'm sure you can find a way to get something that you like and could use again without having to break the bank. Having said that, remember it is an invitation, not a command...you are at liberty to decline it. You just have to decide on whether the possible awkwardness is worth it. Personally it annoys me when I hear of brides who put restrictions/conditions on their guests and then get annoyed if the invitation is declined.

squirrelchops

The dress code is for all day, for everyone. It was on the invites!

Also they have chosen very dark colours too.

Before I found out about the formal wear I had commandered a lovely dress off a friend of mine to borrow that I thought would have been perfect.

crystaltipps

TK Maxx is the way to go here. My daughter is in a choir that requires evening dresses for formal performances - she is only 14 but 5'8" and an adult size 10. We got her a beautiful evening dress in a cream/gold combination with sparkly glitter on it, full length and shoulderless, for £30! One of my best bargains and she looks stunning. Of course it is hit and miss with their stock but you have time to visit regularly.

It is fab swishing around like royalty - a couple of years ago I went to a uni ball and treated myself to a dress from Debenhams for £120 I think - it was an amazing night and even with most of the other girls being younger/slimmer, I still felt like a million dollars. Go for it! :-)

Person_one

squirrelchops wrote: »

The dress code is for all day, for everyone. It was on the invites!

Also they have chosen very dark colours too.

Jeez, you only get to choose your bridesmaids outfits because you pay for them, you can't extend it to everybody else!

squirrelchops

TK Maxx - top idea!

I am actually intrigued to see what the wedding will be like if this is the demands put on just the guests outfits!

lostinrates

A dress code for ' White tie' to cover the long gowns if it were evening is, IMO acceptable. As would at a push be a ' please don't wear x colour' if they were fussy. I have been to a black and white wedding, but their was no requirement for 'formal' so it was easy for everyone to find something cheap,y ( though personally, I didn't like it )?

If its not a colour or a dress you will wear again, buy inexpensively ( charity shop ) or hire and enjoy the day. If its really got your got, decline the invite.