MOOLOO'S Muddling on into 2013

Savvy_sewing

Definitely on a downer. what's the point feelings and the wanting to run away and not come back feelings. The problems are weighing down on me today. twin 2 didn't engage with the carers again today. she has not gone home again. She hasn't paid back any of the debts with her loan. And was again with the girl from the family of hell. I broke down in tears at work today when I spoke to the carers. Then this evening I had a huge row with DS. He managed to get £300 worth if work last week and its all gone. The landlady at the pub tells me he is also back mixing with the other member from the family from hell.
I am shattered. Disillusioned and sick of my own family.

Errata

It's not surprising you're feeling the way you do. Did you get any of the £300? It's a bit much if he's claiming Jobseekers and earning that much in a week, he may be sailing a bit close to the wind on benefit fraud.
I hope something can be sorted out for your daugher, she doesn't seem to have any idea about money or the need to feed herself. Could it be time to discuss again her having a financial appointee?

Savvy_sewing

Errata wrote: »

It's not surprising you're feeling the way you do. Did you get any of the £300? It's a bit much if he's claiming Jobseekers and earning that much in a week, he may be sailing a bit close to the wind on benefit fraud.
I hope something can be sorted out for your daugher, she doesn't seem to have any idea about money or the need to feed herself. Could it be time to discuss again her having a financial appointee?

He declared the work so he wont get JSA for that week.
The Social Worker was supposed to be doing an aptitude test on twin2 but still not done as she wont engage properly with them, but will contact her about it again next week.
DGD has been diagnosed with high level of dyslexia today. Gutted. I already believe she has dyspraxia with all the accidents she has.
I have a terrible headache and am just going to bed. DS is keeping an eye on DGD and will put her to bed for me at the appropriate time.

Savvy_sewing

Today was another busy day, tied up with dealing with the nuclear fallout from twin2.
On Friday she called me just before she was due to see the debt councillor at the council offices. Asked me to go with her, but she didn't really have all the relevant paperwork, so we had to reschedule it for today. Liveability went with her to this one today.
After we had been at the councillors, I went back to her house, to await the Social Worker and the Manager from Liveability. We had a fraught few hours I can tell you.
I did some tidying up, and tried to motivate her to do some things for herself, but she was resentful, and angry.
The consensus with the carers and social was that she didn't actually have the capacity to deal with her money, her medication, and other components of her life. Well how long have we been saying that here on MSE?? They asked me to ring in and put an adult safety referral on her, re the family from hells influence. Twin2 admitted getting a Pounds to Pocket loan, and this girl being the instigation behind it.
Then today I found out that twin1 also has a loan from them!.
We persuaded twin2 to change her payments from ESA and DLA into my account so that the girl from hell cannot stand over her on benefit day and weedle anything out of her.
I have agreed to make the payments, minimum ones on her rent, personally, so that there is definitely an improvement on it, and that when she has to go to court on the 16th, that we hope they will give her another chance. I realise that this is not good for me, but I would rather be paying £16.62 a week to her rent, then for her to be homeless and end up on my doorstep!.
I will have to make a concerted effort to put my makes on the internet and see if I can sell it to make up the difference at least!.
Today the manager went with her to the debt advisor, and they are putting in some plans to get started on the debts etc. They will be writing to her creditors on her behalf etc etc.
He gave her a voucher to be able to use the local foodbank. So as it was open between 12 and 2 today, (and Thursdays), it meant that I took her there after I had taken DS to do some errands in town.
We sat and had a cup of tea and a chat with the people there, who were very friendly and helpful. So much so that Twin2 has asked if she can volunteer to help. (I did say to them that it might not materialise, when twin2 had gone out of the room!- but that it would be good for her if she does go).
I seem to have got roped into drawing up some menu plans for them as I had said that I would be making a plan for twin2 from what she had been given!.
So I will be trawling here and getting some inspiration from the Old Style threads and grocery challenges again. !
As if I didn't have enough to do!. But as I am doing one for her, then I suppose a copy of it is easy enough to give them suggestions and ideas. I will be popping over to Elaine Colliers website and looking for ideas too. She is a mind of frugalness!.
I have suggested this website to them as well.
On the way back from the foodbank, I came home via Aldi and did my own food shopping. My cupboards were getting very low. I spent £44 but that will take me well into the next week as well.
I did a big Approved Food order, £85 worth coming at the end of the week. With all of that I will be able to get back on with my own grocery challenges as well.
I am really tired though.

My craft stall was a bit of a disaster on Saturday. I spent as much as I earned, £18 while there, as I had DGD with me, and needed to keep her amused for 4 hours. (Never again!!). But on the plus side as I had posted on Facebook where I was going, a very old school friend from our days in Cyprus in 1975-78, came up to see me, with her mum. She drove about 80miles just to surprise me. You can say she certainly did that!. So it made the day after all.
This weekend has been busy what with the craft stall, and then gardening and washing. I am ploughing my way through 4 bin bags full of dirty washing from twin2's and that is only the tip of the iceberg.
I need to tell her carers that I am still washing clothes that belonged to DS1 (3 years ago now since he was taken into care).
She also tells me that she is planning on going to see the father of DS1 (alarm bells are ringing in my ears), this weekend, as she has been back in touch with him and wants to show him the photographs that the Foster Mother gave me earlier in the year.
Where her sentiment is nice, I fear the association with him. I did say that we could burn the pictures onto a disc and post him that, but she is determind that she is going to go there anyway. How can I stop her? I cant.
I feel the stress creeping up on me, its in my headaches, and in my neck. The tension is quite painful at the moment. So I am trying to be mindful, and relax myself. But its not easy.
Twin1 is back from her time away with the boyfriend, but when I went to collect DS from hers yesterday, she also had the girl from the family from hell in her house, along with a cat and a fish!. I reminded her that there is a No Pets policy, and only the fish could stay. The girl from hell is supposed to be taking the cat back.
When I dropped some clothes off this morning I think she had gone, and the cat with her. Fingers crossed. But that was when I found out that twin1 has that loan from Pounds to Pockets as well. That's why she was overdrawn in her bank, (remember the account that we had set up with Barclays that she couldn't be overdrawn in????????).
Something else that needs investigating.
I put in the referral for the Safeguarding team today. LEts hope that something is put in place somehow with everyone. I am not going to be able to do it all by myself.
I have paid for our accommodation for DGD and I to go away in August to Portugal. So the accommodation and flights are now all paid up. Transport and spends next. I am determind that we will have a good holiday. Going Self Catering, as I can shop in Lidl there and buy a basic shop. Menu plans at the ready again. That will leave us some spending to have icecreams and a few beers for me!.
The thought of the holiday is what keeps me going. Something good to look forward too. I managed to get a good deal on an apartment, direct with the owner, for £425 for the two weeks. Although the apartment is a bit further out of the way, and doesn't have a balcony (with DGD that's a good thing I think!), it does have a washing machine and a freezer. So we can do a decent shop, and we don't have to take as many clothes as we can wash them. Bonus, bonus. It also has a bedroom and sitting room, so DGD doesn't have to sleep in with me.
Works website has gone live today, so we will see if the hard work is worth it soon, and if the job will be a more permanent one!. Fingers crossed.!

minimoneysaver

Are you allowed to share the website with us on here? x

Savvy_sewing

Sent a link by PM just incase I am not supposed too.
Have been working as much as I can to make a variety of things for work this week.From applique on sweatshirts and knotting on tee shirts and patch pockets on the shorts. Also replaced collars on mens shirts. Played around with the embroidery machine checking out all the different stitches etc.
Have had calls from twin two most days and she seems to be stopped at her home so far any way. The debt councillor rang me today to update me on the things that he has agreed with the housing and the council.
Her money is due to be paid to my account tomorrow. Then I will carry on making her payments.
I actually managed to get my hair cut today. Been ages since I found the time.

Savvy_sewing

I am rather fed up today. DS's JSA wasn't paid for some reason. Cant reach him to see if he got my message this morning and has chased it yet. ITs usually (when he is claiming it) paid into my bank. Alas his Xbox stuff has gone out, and that's come to £38 odd this week alone!. I am so angry with him I could spit.
Then to top it all, Twin2's ESA has not been sent as she didn't bother to go and collect her doctors certificate and send it in. So I have had to fork out £61.25 on her bills today, and none of her money has gone into the bank.
I went to collect the doctors note, and visit the Debt Councillor, with signed authorisations for him to deal with the DWP on her behalf, and the Council to deal with me on her Council Tax and Housing Benefit. Of course with her ESA not being paid it means that her Housing Benefit etc will be effected. We have written to them asking them to not suspend it, and that the DWP have been given the Doctors Certificate today. (Fingers crossed it got there, as a lad she knows was going into town and he said that he would hand it in.).
She has gone against my advise and let yet another lad stay at her house. When will she ever learn.
I had to put £10 on the Electric and £10 on the gas. Although that will still not give her any Gas as she is some £50 in arrears again. But at least it will stop it from increasing.
I pray that the Jobcentre will sort out her benefits today, and that the money will be paid over in the next 48 hours, or I am going to be on a very tight budget for the beginning of July.
I haven't seen or heard anything from twin1 this week. No news is good news? I daren't ring her, as I don't want to hear anymore bad news. I don't think I can cope with it all.
I am feeling rather more "resigned" to the problems this afternoon, but only after I had come home and had a sleep.
My ASDA shopping has arrived, and I forgot to order fresh milk, potatoes and bread.! Derr.
So I have mixed up powdered milk and put it in the milk carton.
It was ok used in my "soup". diced up 4 small potatoes, 2 leeks, and a pinch of mixed herbs. Sweated off the leeks, brought the potatoes to boil, then simmer in the milk, and added the rest. Put it through the potato masher and that was my lunch.
We are having Chicken pieces with a Lemon and Herb marinade, from a packet that I got from Approved Foods last week.
I will just do it with Rice and Mixed Vegetables. We didn't have a big Sunday dinner, we only had Burger and Chips yesterday. I wasn't in the mood for much culinary wizardry after I had been out for the day. We went to Millets Farm, had a look at the Animals there, and at the glorious products in the Farm Shop, we bought a couple of pieces of Cake, at 90p a slice. yummy. We had a good look around the garden centre, and DGD got to play inI a great big sandpit in the "beach Caf!". that's currently there. The Maize Maze is not yet open. Due to open 17th July. Not sure how much that will cost to go around? But something that we have never done so far, so will look forward to having a go at that at some stage this summer.
I hope that I will get some good results in the next few days to lift my spirits, and to stop me from worry worting. I am so on the line between moods at the moment.
I am not looking forward to going into work tomorrow, which is not a good thing. I don't feel the vibes for creating much. But its a very big necessity to go and to try and pull a few ideas out of the air, and to try and get the girls in there to up their game a bit.
I also wonder if I should be talking to the Financial person behind them, as I don't think that they are charging enough for the products that they are selling. They are only Charging £10 for some of the shorts, and with my time put in, they are not going to make enough money to pay for all their wages and the rest of the overheads. So it could put my job in jeopardy. But is it my place to say, or even my problem?

Savvy_sewing

Well to try and stop the inertia I have listed a couple of my craft makes up on ebay. I will need to take some better photos really to get other things up there. But I suppose its a start.
I feel so weighed down with everything at the moment, but thought that I had to make an effort.
I don't have to go and collect DS this evening, he is staying at his sisters, so that will save me some fuel anyway.
It also means that I can get DGD to bed at a reasonable time, and get a chance to have a bit of an early night for me.
I know I slept for an hour this afternoon. trying to De- Stress. But I do still feel very tired, always do when there is so much on my mind.

minimoneysaver

I hope that you are okay. I do worry about the finanacial impact of you taking on the twins finances. Especially with you having DGD with you. You should have money left over to do nice things with her and treat her. Both of you deserve it. I notice that DS's bills must still be coming out of your account too.

Do you think it is possible that the social services are more likely to back off if they feel that you are there to take up the slack?

It's just a thought. I hope that you and your family & SS can come to an understanding that you are NOT financially responsible for your grown up children, but you do emotionally care for them. There needs to be some separation.

Savvy_sewing

As far as I can make out, Social Services do not give a stuff!
The debt council guy seems to want to help, but he also is realistic that she is not capable on her own. He did comment today that "they" should be helping her. The carers should be making sure all this is done. But they are not.
Today I asked the carer if she could take twin2 to the Food Bank, with the voucher. She said that she couldn't. Nor could she go with Twin2 to the dentist. As they nolonger have the Fuel expenses paid. I said I would give her petrol money, but she said that it was not allowed.
The woman sits on her "fat a***" and talks. I don't see any action happening.
I am disgruntled. The care is not happening the way I had invisaged, or I think that she needs.
I am also worried about DGD and myself having our things, but that's not going to help me sort things out.
I have to be the one who comes up with another way, as the system has let us down as far as I can see.
She doesn't have the capacity to manage her money, her time, or her basic health and hygiene for god sake!. Her depression has made her worse, and she is not taking her medication properly.
Its not a good picture at the moment.
I am so tired of it all.
Its a fight after a fight, etc etc all the time.
I am so very tired.
Cup of tea time and then bed.