Compliance Visit from DWP

dacouch

Not an expert but I would assume the DWP will say that if your husband had not lost his job but still had the exclusion order that the current situation eg him staying over would still exist but he would be paying the household bills.

Fluffybug

dacouch wrote: »

Not an expert but I would assume the DWP will say that if your husband had not lost his job but still had the exclusion order that the current situation eg him staying over would still exist but he would be paying the household bills.

Not really. The situation would be the same but he would be paying maintenance as he did before at the rate recommended by the CSA calculator. He certainly wouldn't be contributing what he used to when we were a couple (as evidenced by the start of our separation before he was told he was being made redundant)

FBaby

Why can't he use his friend's address?

Fluffybug

cheepskate wrote: »

O.P, Why do you need to sleep on the sofa? I assume that your kids do not sleep in the living room.
Being in the bedroom(as i assume this is where you both were before claiming as a single parent)worked well and you could still attend to the kids.

If its only a 90 minute journey , then why does your husband stay as its not really a long journey considering he can stay for 12 hours or so.

How did Social Services 1st get involved and when?

I sleep on the sofa on a Friday night so my husband can have a lie in on Saturday morning, then we swap the next night. This is so that the person having a lie in is not disturbed in the morning when the children get up and come downstairs.
It may not be the longest of journeys, but it means he can sleep in and still see the kids on a Saturday, and it means I can sleep in on a Sunday. I get very little sleep in the week (a whole hour lastnight!) so to have him to attend to the kids so I can sleep is very helpful.
Social services first got involved a year ago after my husband started receiving mental health care. They weren't majorly involved until about a month before we separated, however, and the CPP was implemented about 6 weeks after we separated.
The why is detailed in previous posts

Fluffybug

FBaby wrote: »

Why can't he use his friend's address?

His friend has told him not to. Not sure why, but he doesn't want to go against his friend's wishes as then he will have nowhere to stay.

Zziggi

I know a family where one parent as a personality disorder (supposedly) and the other parent has significant serious long-term mental health problems with children of a similar age to the OP. Now I know the SS are known to make bizarre, unfathomable and down right stupid decisions BUT I think there simply must be more to this situation. You don't have such serious SS involvement just because of parental "labels". What personality order has the dad got? Has he a history of DV? Verbal /physical abuse?

As far as DWP couple/not a couple goes, I think there's evidence that you are considered a couple irrespective of the SS enforced situation. Just because you aren't under the same roof doesn't mean you aren't a couple just as being under the same roof, in some circumstances, doesn't mean you're a couple. What I'd be concerned about is the knock-on effects of the DWP deciding you are a couple. I'm not talking about money or fraud, I'm talking about how the SS will use this to show noncompliance. You must know how they love to use evidence from "other professionals" as solid "evidence".

I don't think it's outrageous at all to think that the SS has shopped the OP to the DWP if its a means to an end to get "evidence".

princessdon

As I said yesterday - re dwp - their guideline could well put you as a couple especially if they have evidence, example Facebook statusus, him staying over at Xmas etc.

Re social services - you are not ready to hear the advice, and your need to have him in your life is too strong.

Why did you only get 1 hours sleep do your children have special needs? Have you considered respite

Fluffybug

Zziggi wrote: »

I know a family where one parent as a personality disorder (supposedly) and the other parent has significant serious long-term mental health problems with children of a similar age to the OP. Now I know the SS are known to make bizarre, unfathomable and down right stupid decisions BUT I think there simply must be more to this situation. You don't have such serious SS involvement just because of parental "labels". What personality order has the dad got? Has he a history of DV? Verbal /physical abuse?

Please read the other posts, that was not the only reason they are involved.
Afaik, hubby is still waiting for an actual diagnosis. He has been treated for depression and given anti-psychotics for a while, but nothing has been labelled, which is part of the problem and one of the reasons we are awaiting a thorough evaluation by the psych team.
He has no history of violence of any sort, I've been his only serious long-term partner, and he's never been violent towards me, or any of his family. He has a clean criminal record too, not even a caution.
We actually had quite a bit of worry when my husband said to his counsellor that he's very protective of the children and often worries that something might happen to them, and this means he often wraps the kids up in cotton wool. The report from the counsellor to CS said this word for word, CS interpreted this as hubby saying "I often feel I'm going to hurt my kids".
We ended up in a meeting with CS and the CMHT to sort this out, and we were told that their mistake would be forgotten an omitted from our records, however they frequently bring this up, along with the fictitious police reports, and we have to keep fighting for them to retract these as reasons to be involved.

Fluffybug

princessdon wrote: »

As I said yesterday - re dwp - their guideline could well put you as a couple especially if they have evidence, example Facebook statusus, him staying over at Xmas etc.

Re social services - you are not ready to hear the advice, and your need to have him in your life is too strong.

Why did you only get 1 hours sleep do your children have special needs? Have you considered respite

No, one of my children is ill at the moment, and is up most of the night. Even when he's not ill, however, I find I'm too stressed to sleep.

miamoo

Your OH has another address but he isn't allowed to tell anyone where that is, and isn't allowed to have any post sent there!?