Compliance Visit from DWP

Fluffybug

princessdon wrote: »

Your financial situation is a positive. The fact that youd be financially better off as a couple needs to be relayed to the compliance officer to show you don't gain financially.

Do you think if I did a SOA of costs vs income in both scenarios of living apart and living together, and showed this to the compliance officer, that this would help my case?

princessdon

It would show your motive isn't benefits - can't say how they'd accept that as they have their own rules, but it would show your case financially.

zoominatorone

Fluffybug wrote: »

Thank you, but we are complying with children's services. They are aware of the arrangements and often do spot checks. I have been woken at 8 in the morning by them pressing their nose up against the window and banging on it and checking I was asleep alone on the sofa. They often do unannounced visits to check, and have watched our house to make sure he only attends during the hours they know of.
Unfortunately, he is my entire support network, so they understand he helps out a lot with the kids

For them to be doing that they must be very very worried indeed about the safety of the children. To spend scarce resources on turning up unannounced and watching the house is very drastic.

zoominatorone

Op do you sleep in the living room with the curtains/blinds open--otherwise how can they see you on the sofa alone when they turn up.

zoominatorone

is it just me?

I can't get my head around how the husband is having so much time alone with the kids, and social services turning up unannounced is supposed to be protecting their welfare?

Is it the husband they are spying on, or do they think the kids are in danger from the mother? Or do they think they are too toxic for each other to be together?

princessdon

zoominatorone wrote: »

is it just me?

I can't get my head around how the husband is having so much time alone with the kids, and social services turning up unannounced is supposed to be protecting their welfare?

Is it the husband they are spying on, or do they think the kids are in danger from the mother? Or do they think they are too toxic for each other to be together?

Professionally I can think of many reasons. Op is co-operating to a point. ss can't prove otherwise and on a voluntary order they either have to have evidence to remove or accept until evidence arrives.

Sometimes ss have suspicions and no evidence - that is the position op Israel in. They certainly don't suspect op the mother and have no concerns about her alone, even maybe the father alone. Sometimes people combined give problems - what I suspect here.

Whether op admission this or not DV takes many forms and emotional abuse watching arguments is grounds for child protection (even if parents think they are asleep).

Many parents don't fight or argue whist children are present.

Fluffybug

zoominatorone wrote: »

Op do you sleep in the living room with the curtains/blinds open--otherwise how can they see you on the sofa alone when they turn up.

I have a blind in the living room but it was cut too short when we moved in (well done hubby) and has about a 1.5 inch gap either side where you can see in if you stand in the garden and look in.. My sofa is adjacent to the window, so it's easy to see me on the sofa.

zoominatorone

Fluffybug wrote: »

I have a blind in the living room but it was cut too short when we moved in (well done hubby) and has about a 1.5 inch gap either side where you can see in if you stand in the garden and look in.. My sofa is adjacent to the window, so it's easy to see me on the sofa.

It's just I get the feeling that ss are desperate to get evidence to get the kids away from you both.

Hubby was escorted out 2 times by the police, has mental health problems and mum is on lithium and has mental health problems. Are ss being over cautious or do they think the kids are in significant danger?

Fluffybug

zoominatorone wrote: »

Op do you sleep in the living room with the curtains/blinds open--otherwise how can they see you on the sofa alone when they turn up.

princessdon wrote: »

Professionally I can think of many reasons. Op is co-operating to a point. ss can't prove otherwise and on a voluntary order they either have to have evidence to remove or accept until evidence arrives.

Sometimes ss have suspicions and no evidence - that is the position op Israel in. They certainly don't suspect op the mother and have no concerns about her alone, even maybe the father alone. Sometimes people combined give problems - what I suspect here.

Whether op admission this or not DV takes many forms and emotional abuse watching arguments is grounds for child protection (even if parents think they are asleep).

Many parents don't fight or argue whist children are present.

Spot on really. The children are under a protection order to protect them from DV. CS believe that, despite the fact nothing has ever happened, I am lying, and that my Hubby is frequently violent due to his personality disorders. This isn't true, and our combined counselling is being fed back to CS as the psych team are agreeing with us that there isn't an issue, but we need to wait for the full review in Feb.
Until then, CS believe the pressure of a relationship, and full time shared responsibilities, added to us being physically together whenever he isn't at work, would cause a volatile atmosphere and aggravate DV and potentially put the children at risk.
As it is, we're now at the mercy of the psych team, but so far both the Relate counsellor and the CMHT both say there is no risk, but this needs to be formalised with a full evaluation taking into account our combined mental health issues.

zoominatorone

OP

who involved the ss in the first place?
was it the police when they were called?