Compliance Visit from DWP

Fluffybug

mandiskem wrote: »

if shes getting watched ,unannounced visits from them etc surely childrens contact centre would be best choice to get them off her back they aint giving her breathing space having someone constantly breathing down your neck isnt good for anyone,constantly watching every move u make to make sure she`s not doing this n that if i`d have them coming round all the time i`d be sick of it wouldnt you

Unfortunately, they do the same at a contact centre. They breathe down your neck, monitor everything you do, and worst of all the kids are in an alien environment.
As it is, I've fought my a*se off to get CS to agree to the contact arrangements I want, and I'm not prepared to give that up now. My husband is an incredible dad, and I'm not going to start treating him like a criminal, especially not with children that are just as much his as they are mine.

Fluffybug

41_and_i_know_it wrote: »

I'm not sure what to say to be perfectly honest. I think you were right to post this thread and I think it is good that people have responded albeit some encouraging and some obviously do not understand or care about your situation.
Please whatever you do look after yourself and your emotional and mental well-being and don't allow negative or judgemental comments to bring you down. Today is the start of a new year. It is a public holiday, take this time to charge your batteries and write things down, tomorrow get some proper advice from whoever you feel you can trust and whoever is not liable to manipulate things. I know I will be criticised for this post but the main thing I am trying to say is you FIRST, SECOND, AND THIRD because you need to be well and calm in order to make the right decisions for you and your children. I know you are intelligent and when everything overwhelms it is the emotions that mess up the decisions you make. Please look after yourself and then you will be more likely to be able to think straight. I can't make my decisions at the moment because my emotions are shredded so I wish you all the best it is easier to see others going through it because I'm going through a similar situation. Hope this helps.

Thank you

Fluffybug

mandiskem wrote: »

there are social services that will provide a contact centre for your husband to see them.if your kids are on at risk register and ur husband is seeing his children be aware the kids could go into care and you could lose them until they are at least 18.when i was 3 i got took away by the police from my real family due to nearly the same thing as ur saying,the police and social services and childrens services will have the power to remove the kids at anytime. if you was in a relationship and u split up amicably which means no social services involved no police either. the rules for dwp is the kids father or mother depending which of the parents have them full time they can stay 3 times a week only. you say access away from your home isnt possible the only way ur going to get the childrens services off your back is let the kids see their dad at a contact centre this will prove to the childrens services that ur doing all u possibly can to protect the kids if you carry on the way u are now the kids will be taken away and believe me its very hard to get them back out of the system . i know a woman who had 3 young kids the eldest 2 was old enough to leave home.she has mental health issues and they put her kids in care and she wont ever get them back.compliance officer means someone has grassed u up for something could be extra money ,working etc,but in ur case would prob be your hubby staying there and when he comes to see the kids some nosey !!!!!! round ur way might think he staying there etc good luck

As I am complying, and have made them aware and signed agreements around all contact plans, then I'm not sure how they would legally be able to take my children?
I have nothing to hide, unfortunately that doesn't seem to be enough for them sometimes.
As it is, I have no intention of disrupting my kids by dragging them out of their comfort zone and into CS territory.

MissPiggy50

Fluffybug wrote: »

I've hardly got a lot if money coming in. I'd be financially better off if my husband moved back, not to mention in a much better place mentally.
It would also save me having to explain to my son why, when he wakes in the middle of the night, he can't have the "daddy snuggles" he wants.
I'd also not have ignorant people tarring me with the "scrounger" brush.

Don worry what people say, whole system is a lie baste and run by Swizzers . banks lyin borrowing money they don't have and printing it (countafeitting), polaticins claimin for stuff (fraud), corporations misselling stuff and payin no tax (deception). People on here screaming at people on benafits when all above are fraudin in lol, get what you can b4 it collapsis lol

FBaby

I'm sorry but I think you are using the situation to your financial benefit. What makes you not a 'normal' couple is the current restriction imposed by social services. However, if YOU and HE still consider yourself a couple (and you say that's what you want), then why did you decide that you were single for benefit purposes?

Your husband works and assumingly earn enough to support you. He has no -or very limited- living costs, so why shouldn't he support his family? The fact that you think you are not allowed to sleep together -and frankly, it makes no sense to me that you would feel it is something you can't do whereas it is ok for him to have unsurpervised access to his children if social services concerns are about the children, not you- or spend all your time together does not make you NOT a couple. Either he isn't supporting you as his wife and his children fully meaning you need to rely on state benefits and therefore he pays maintenance towards his children, OR he should support his family with his salary.

In the end, you are a couple since that's what you want, and his not supporting his family means that he must be able to save quite a bit of money each month whilst tax payers support you.

I don't think you intended to defraud the system, I can see how you would have considered that you are not a couple, but I think you see yourself as not a couple when it suits you (to claim benefits) but as a couple when it does suit you (him not paying any maintenance and staying over under the same roof a large part of the week).

esmecullen

FBaby wrote: »

I don't think you intended to defraud the system, I can see how you would have consider that you are not a couple, but I think you see yourself as not a couple when it suits you (to claim benefits) but as a couple when it does suit you (him not paying any maintenance and staying over under the same roof a large part of the week).

Oh I'm sorry yes she/they are!! I am so sick and tired of reading on here "oh I have separated and what can I claim?" How about getting off you backside and actually working for a living than expecting the tax payer to support you!!

Fluffybug

FBaby wrote: »

I'm sorry but I think you are using the situation to your financial benefit. What makes you not a 'normal' couple is the current restriction imposed by social services. However, if YOU and HE still consider yourself a couple (and you say that's what you want), then why did you decide that you were single for benefit purposes?

he is not allowed to live here full time, we are not allowed to be a couple, we don't consider ourselves a couple, but ultimately this is what we want. Unfortunately CS say no.

Your husband works and assumingly earn enough to support you. he has just started self employed work, earning very little (less than MW, but more than benefits). He has living costs, travel costs, and the costs of tools for his new job. When we split up he was working full time and could support the family, but he lost this job to redundancy after we split. When he was employed he paid maintenance, when he lost his job he just helped out where he could, which is what he is doing now. He has no -or very limited- living costs, so why shouldn't he support his family? The fact that you think you are not allowed to sleep together -and frankly, it makes no sense to me that you would feel it is something you can't do whereas it is ok for him to have unsurpervised access to his children if social services concerns are about the children, not you-their concerns are about both. Very long story. Not up for discussion. or spend all your time together does not make you NOT a couple. we aren't a couple. For the time being we are forced to be just friends who happen to be parents of the same childrenEither he isn't supporting you as his wife and his children fully meaning you need to rely on state benefits and therefore he pays maintenance towards his children, OR he should support his family with his salary.He has no salary. When his first invoice is paid, and his earnings start coming through, he will be paying maintenance. I have said this in previous posts

In the end, you are a couple since that's what you want, and his not supporting his family means that he must be able to save quite a bit of money each month whilst tax payers support you.We are not a couple. We want to be, but SS think that us being "together as man and wife" could cause issues, so I have to treat him like just a good friend and not my husband

I don't think you intended to defraud the system, I can see how you would have consider that you are not a couple, but I think you see yourself as not a couple when it suits you (to claim benefits) but as a couple when it does suit you (him not paying any maintenance and staying over under the same roof a large part of the week).

Two nights is not a large part of the week. It's less than half. Just over a quarter. He doesn't pay maintenance as he hasn't received his first payment for his first invoice for SE work (he has to do the work, and then he submits an invoice on a Friday and gets paid 28 days later.)
When he gets his first payment he will sort out maintenance. When he was employed full time he paid maintenance, but he was unemployed for a time, so couldn't afford more than some nappies or milk here and there.

Fluffybug

esmecullen wrote: »

Oh I'm sorry yes she/they are!! I am so sick and tired of reading on here "oh I have separated and what can I claim?" How about getting off you backside and actually working for a living than expecting the tax payer to support you!!

Sorry, forgot jobs were being handed out left right and centre. Oh wait, they're not. I've applied for everything from cleaning jobs to retail etc, but other than several interviews have had no success. I have no intention of being on benefits permanently.

Then again, you're a rich airhead, so I wouldn't expect you to understand my situation.

FBaby

Sorry but I am not convinced by your explanation. Why would SS insist that you shouldn't be 'together as man and wife' -funnily enough a term used for benefit purposes.....-, but are happy for him to come over whenever and even have unsurpervised access? SS don't make their decision based on what benefits you can claim. They either decide that the children/you are at risk and therefore decide that you should have limited contact, or that you are not. Whether you are or are not a couple as defined by benefits would be the least of their concerns.

I assumed that he would benefit financially if he earned a decent salary, but clearly it is the opposite situation. Becoming self-employed is not a reason to stop maintenance. Even if he doesn't earn much, he would be entitled to working tax credits on his own and therefore contribute some maintenance.

princessdon

My husband sleeps here less than 2 nights a week, can I claim as single? The only thing you have to show you are not a couple is the ss order. Now IF they are the ones who grassed you (as you seem to think) then they'll have their concerns that you are a couple.

You have enough on your plate to deal with without this right now I can imagine, but being honest as I said bar the ss order I would say 100% you are a couple and ss and dwp will have differing ideas. I'd get legal advice if I was you.

I don't believe for 1 minute you are not sleeping with them as you clearly love the bones of them and if that comes out on here, it will come out via interview. You need advice because you are caught between a rock and a hard plate of two different agencies who have different classifications and want different outcomes.