Compliance Visit from DWP

Zziggi

Fluffybug wrote: »

Please read the other posts, that was not the only reason they are involved.
Afaik, hubby is still waiting for an actual diagnosis. He has been treated for depression and given anti-psychotics for a while, but nothing has been labelled, which is part of the problem and one of the reasons we are awaiting a thorough evaluation by the psych team.
He has no history of violence of any sort, I've been his only serious long-term partner, and he's never been violent towards me, or any of his family. He has a clean criminal record too, not even a caution.
We actually had quite a bit of worry when my husband said to his counsellor that he's very protective of the children and often worries that something might happen to them, and this means he often wraps the kids up in cotton wool. The report from the counsellor to CS said this word for word, CS interpreted this as hubby saying "I often feel I'm going to hurt my kids".
We ended up in a meeting with CS and the CMHT to sort this out, and we were told that their mistake would be forgotten an omitted from our records, however they frequently bring this up, along with the fictitious police reports, and we have to keep fighting for them to retract these as reasons to be involved.

But you said he had a personality disorder. So has he had a diagnosis or not?

Zziggi

Fluffybug wrote: »

Hi all.
I have a compliance visit soon from DWP. I am a single mother to two and claim income support, housing benefit, council tax benefit, child benefit and child tax credit. I have been on benefits for about 7 months since my husband and I separated.
Unfortunately, I have a strange situation. My husband and I separated as we were arguing lots and I had him removed twice by police.
He also has a personality disorder and as a result of these two things (disorder and the police visits) our children are under a child protection order. !

So does he have a diagnosis or not?

Fluffybug

miamoo wrote: »

Your OH has another address but he isn't allowed to tell anyone where that is, and isn't allowed to have any post sent there!?

He can't have post sent there. CS know where it is though. Not sure where you got the idea that he can't tell anyone where it is?
It's not exactly like he has another address either, he's crashing on a sofa and it should have been for under a month, it's not like he has his own place. Unfortunately, a private rent for a one bed house locally is more than he earns! So he went on the housing list, but they're being useless.

Fluffybug

Zziggi wrote: »

So does he have a diagnosis or not?

The psych/counsellor duo he has been seeing are only students on placement. They believe he has personality disorders, but have not given a solid diagnosis as it is not for them. From what I know, they have said that he potentially suffers from issues around social integration, paranoia, narcissism (I think thats the one, anyway?) and ADHD (which we disagree with, as he doesn't really display any signs of ADHD)
However, this needs to be confirmed by one of the lead psych team.

LittleMax

Fluffybug wrote: »

He has no history of violence of any sort, I've been his only serious long-term partner, and he's never been violent towards me, or any of his family. He has a clean criminal record too, not even a caution.

But when you called the police out it was so that he could be removed, you say "as a preventative measure". The question is what did you think was going to happen and why you would think that? It sounds like you requested help from the police to remove him from the house because you were pre-empting him becoming aggressive / violent towards you. Why else would you need him to leave? If so, there is a history of violence / aggression.

Fluffybug

LittleMax wrote: »

But when you called the police out it was so that he could be removed, you say "as a preventative measure". The question is what did you think was going to happen and why you would think that? It sounds like you requested help from the police to remove him from the house because you were pre-empting him becoming aggressive / violent towards you. Why else would you need him to leave? If so, there is a history of violence / aggression.

Actually, it's the opposite, I was pre-empting me becoming aggressive. I was very stressed at the time due to a death in the family, but my husband didn't want to leave the property as he didn't want to leave me alone and upset. The police were actually happy to remove either one of us, but I insisted on staying with the children.

LittleMax

Then you need to reread the advice that Princessdon has tried to give you and you need to co-operate with Children's Services for your children's sake.

Fluffybug

LittleMax wrote: »

Then you need to reread the advice that Princessdon has tried to give you and you need to co-operate with Children's Services for your children's sake.

I already comply. Access in a contact centre or supervised access has never even been suggested by CS, and whilst they have no proof of any issues likely to arise of my husband being violent, other than their conclusions drawn from statistics from cases entirely different from ours, they have OK'd the arrangements on the basis that we remain separated and don't share a bed etc (which we don't), that we have a plan of action in place I he does get violent (which he won't), and that we agree to review it if any violence does occur (which it won't)
We have not done anything sneaky or that could give them any reason to take action.

LittleMax

Yes, you are complying with Children's Services, but you are not co-operating - you are pushing the boundaries, and do not want to see that the relationship is damaging to all of you, not least the children.

It is interesting that you chose the term comply when I used co-operate ... Complying is doing as you are told; co-operating is working to together.

I would re-iterate what Princessdon has said, please re-read it ...

princessdon wrote: »

I know - I see this daily hence knowing its a sec 20 etc. you KNOW you should comply and cut all ties for the short term with supervised contact. I cannot change your personal needs and the fact you need him as a partner (hence him staying), its you living that life not me and you need to balance your own mental health too.

That's why you need legal advice as I know how ss would use evidence of cohabitation if dwp find you living together

princessdon wrote: »

Re social services - you are not ready to hear the advice, and your need to have him in your life is too strong.

Fluffybug

LittleMax wrote: »

Yes, you are complying with Children's Services, but you are not co-operating - you are pushing the boundaries, and do not want to see that the relationship is damaging to all of you, not least the children.

It is interesting that you chose the term comply when I used co-operate ... Complying is doing as you are told; co-operating is working to together.

I would re-iterate what Princessdon has said, please re-read it ...

The relationship is damaging no-one. Most of the reasons that CS are involved have been proved to be false or to be an assumption based on things that haven't even happened.
And I am complying, not co-operating. They're not working with us, they're forcing us to do things we do not want or need to do. They are making me go to a support group for abused women, when I have never been abused. They made me change the locks whilst my husband was away for no reason, they are forcing me to take medication that has a negative effect, they are doing the same to my husband, they are forcing me to see a counsellor despite the counsellor saying that they were happy that there were no issues, they forced me to take my youngest son for a paediatric assessment for his weight, despite me proving his height and weight are proportional (he's 14 months, and is almost a metre high). I took him to the GP, who basically told me and CS off for time wasting as there's nothing wrong with him, and he is perfectly healthy.
We do what we are told so as not to lose out children. We want what's best for our children, which unfortunately is not CS involvement. Their involvement has destroyed a once happy family and now I feel depressed and suicidal. I can't speak to anyone professional about that, though, as they will use it as ammo against me.
They don't co-operate. They storm in, tear your life up, and intrude in your life. They make appointments they don't keep, turn up unannounced and intrude on family events (post Christmas checks are done on all families, apparently) and ignore any and all evidence put in front of them.
They're useless, we've had a huge list of complaints and they never deal with them. Half of one of their reports referred to my children by the wrong names, stated my house was bigger than it is, said that my husband was of no relation to the children and even suggested that he wasn't working (despite being offered all the details for the people he subcontracts for) and was in fact hiding out at my house!!!
They also told me, and this is verbatim, "you will do as you're told or we'll take your children, so stop trying to prove us wrong with your evidence, as we'll just find more negative information on you".
Since that, I now record all meetings with a dictaphone.