Compliance Visit from DWP

LittleMax

Fluffybug - I understand why you feel like this and why you do not trust the Social Workers. Are there any healthcare professionals or voluntary agencies that you do trust in order to help you with your dealings with Children's Services?

swingaloo

'The relationship is damaging no one'

Clearly it is, its damaging you and especially your children. They cannot be oblivious to all this even though you say they are always asleep when you and your husband argue.

Errata

they are forcing me to take medication that has a negative effect,

Have you discussed this? Have you asked why you're being prescribed lithium, which is prescribed for schizophrenia, when your diagnosis is bi-polar?
It all sounds very chaotic, and I hope a solution is arrived at for the sake of your children.

Fluffybug

LittleMax wrote: »

Fluffybug - I understand why you feel like this and why you do not trust the Social Workers. Are there any healthcare professionals or voluntary agencies that you do trust in order to help you with your dealings with Children's Services?

There probably are, but no-one I trust

Fluffybug

swingaloo wrote: »

'The relationship is damaging no one'

Clearly it is, its damaging you and especially your children. They cannot be oblivious to all this even though you say they are always asleep when you and your husband argue.

It wasn't damaging anyone until CS ripped it apart. We rarely argued, in fact, the last time we argued about anything was when he was removed by the police, 6-odd months ago.
I was having a tough time, mentally, and so we had a trial separation. We didn't like being apart, I had started to get back on track and was ready to sort things out, but then CS stuck their oar in.

jayII

Errata wrote: »

Have you discussed this? Have you asked why you're being prescribed lithium, which is prescribed for schizophrenia, when your diagnosis is bi-polar?
It all sounds very chaotic, and I hope a solution is arrived at for the sake of your children.

Lithium can also be also prescribed for bipolar disorder.

OP, you need to sit down with social services, ideally with your legal representative or another experienced 3rd party, such as an advocate, and ask social services exacly what their concerns are.

If social services really do agree to your husband spending time with the children alone, staying over and so on, then they may be concerned about the interactions between you and your OH, rather than either of you, (as individuals,) posing a risk to the children per se.

Until you ask social services formally, in a calm meeting, you will not know exactly what they want you to do or change, to have your children taken off the CP plan.

Fluffybug

Errata wrote: »

Have you discussed this? Have you asked why you're being prescribed lithium, which is prescribed for schizophrenia, when your diagnosis is bi-polar?
It all sounds very chaotic, and I hope a solution is arrived at for the sake of your children.

Yes, I have to wait until my next appointment (8 weeks between appts) to sort it out. When the tablets were prescribed it was as an option after I reacted quite badly to anti depressants and mood stabilisers. They thought lithium may be a viable alternative, but I was told to take it as long as it helped. It doesn't help and I don't like it, but when I stated that I was coming off it to my SW, she said I can't until I have a letter from my psych confirming this is OK. My psych is on maternity leave and the temp replacement won't see me any sooner or write a letter until they've seen me. 3 and a half more weeks to go now.

princessdon

Another thought - have you been offered family support and or assisted nursery places?

My primary concern from what you have said is your emotional well being. You are under stress and there is help out there for you as a mother. Forcing something like freedom project or triple p when the attendee doesn't think they need it is pointless IMO.

But family support can cover so much more - like bedtime routines, behaviour etc and the nursery place can give you time to recharge your emotional batteries.

Children even very young ones know when to push their luck and you are ripe for pushing as you don't have the emotional strength to fight it. It's not a criticism it's just life and parenthood. It's easier to give in and bring into bed as opposed to dealing with a child at 3am when you are exhausted etc.

Family support and or some time off can help your well being. If they haven't offered then ask your health visitor before your next taf if this is a possibility.

I do know that ss are cautious with mental health (sometimes overly cautious) as its unknown but they believe there is DV and whilst they are investigating this all you can really do is what they ask. That doesn't mean you can't ask for things yourself or put your own needs in last place.

Fluffybug

princessdon wrote: »

Another thought - have you been offered family support and or assisted nursery places?

My primary concern from what you have said is your emotional well being. You are under stress and there is help out there for you as a mother. Forcing something like freedom project or triple p when the attendee doesn't think they need it is pointless IMO.

But family support can cover so much more - like bedtime routines, behaviour etc and the nursery place can give you time to recharge your emotional batteries.

Children even very young ones know when to push their luck and you are ripe for pushing as you don't have the emotional strength to fight it. It's not a criticism it's just life and parenthood. It's easier to give in and bring into bed as opposed to dealing with a child at 3am when you are exhausted etc.

Family support and or some time off can help your well being. If they haven't offered then ask your health visitor before your next taf if this is a possibility.

I do know that ss are cautious with mental health (sometimes overly cautious) as its unknown but they believe there is DV and whilst they are investigating this all you can really do is what they ask. That doesn't mean you can't ask for things yourself or put your own needs in last place.

My children are fabulous. Well behaved, and have a great bedtime routine, well established, and neither has ever spent a night in my bed. Last night I was up all night as my youngest has an ear infection and a fever. Calpol wasn't helping and I couldn't get him any antibiotics until this morning.
Usually they sleep for 13-15 hours a night, straight through, my eldest occasionally wakes up to use the potty but that's it.
The problem is me. I can't switch off at night. There's too much in my head, and no amount of stress relief techniques or aromatherapy or calming music will help. And when I do get to sleep I'm unsettled and wake up frequently. When my husband stays over, even though I can't fall asleep with him as I used to, just knowing he's there in the house calms me and I get to sleep.
My eldest attends nursery for 6 hours a week over two days.
Unfortunately the main problem is the stresses caused by CS and my constant fear of having my children removed. It feels like they're this huge weight on my life.

recoverydust

Errata wrote: »

Have you discussed this? Have you asked why you're being prescribed lithium, which is prescribed for schizophrenia, when your diagnosis is bi-polar?
It all sounds very chaotic, and I hope a solution is arrived at for the sake of your children.

Lithium is a mood stabiliser prescribed for bipolar.