Compliance Visit from DWP

Fluffybug

Hi all.
I have a compliance visit soon from DWP. I am a single mother to two and claim income support, housing benefit, council tax benefit, child benefit and child tax credit. I have been on benefits for about 7 months since my husband and I separated.
Unfortunately, I have a strange situation. My husband and I separated as we were arguing lots and I had him removed twice by police.
He also has a personality disorder and as a result of these two things (disorder and the police visits) our children are under a child protection order. Despite the fact my ex never hit me, and we never argued in front of the kids (or even when they were awake!), children's services still stuck their oar in and are using my husbands mental illness as proof that he will hurt me or the kids.
Anyway, the point is, although my husband and I would like to fix our marriage, and intend to go to counselling, children's services have told us we cannot get back together until they have an up to date psychiatric report or they will take our children. Unfortunately, there's a 6 month waiting list for this, and his regular psych went off on maternity leave 4 months ago and he hasn't been seen by anyone since, despite asking to.
So, currently, we are separated (albeit begrudgingly) for the sake of the children. He is staying with a friend a 90 minute bus ride away, and has recently started work 5 days a week. Although he is on the local housing register and has supporting letters from social services etc, he is on a low banding, and there hasn't been a single property available to bid on in this banding since he went on the list 6 months ago!
He sees the kids Mon, Tue, Wed between 6-8, then goes home. Then he comes over on Friday night and leaves Sunday night. He sleeps in our bed on Friday night, and I sleep on the sofa and get up with the children on Saturday mornings, meaning my ex can sleep in and then not have a 90 minute commute through the city centre before he sees the kids. When he wakes up, I usually go out and do the food shopping and any errands etc.
Saturday night we swap, and I have a lie in on Sunday. Then we spend the day doing activities with the children. Then he'll go home.
He uses my address as a correspondence address as he has no permanent fixed address.
He doesn't pay maintenance, although he usually buys milk & nappies for the kids. He doesn't contribute to the bills, we are not a couple, he doesn't live with me, we don't share a bed, and we have been expressly forbidden to even be a couple by children's services, however I'm worried that as we are still on such good terms and he therefore has such regular relaxed contact, that they will get the wrong impression.
Can anyone help? I intend to be honest with them, but how can I make them see that I am not fiddling the system?
I would LOVE to have my husband home, living as a family, but we are simply not allowed.
Someone has obviously reported me for benefit fraud (I have my suspicions that it's actually children's services, but that's another story).
I also have mental health issues (manic-depression and anxiety) and this is stressing me, I know in my heart I've done nothing wrong, but I also know how weird this situation is.
I would appreciate any advice.
Sorry for the long post!

HappyMJ

Just explain the above and you should be OK. Don't mix anything financial yet. Make sure he pays you child support/maintenance and just wait until he can move back. You are single until he moves in and you start sharing bills.

Fluffybug

HappyMJ wrote: »

Just explain the above and you should be OK. Don't mix anything financial yet. Make sure he pays you child support/maintenance and just wait until he can move back. You are single until he moves in and you start sharing bills.

Thank you.
He isn't paying maintenance as he's just started SE work, and his first invoice is due to be paid in 2 weeks, then it should be regular weekly, at which point we'll work out a maintenance plan.

fishybusiness

All said, you want your relationship to work, but it seems the system is not working for you at the moment.

Then he comes over on Friday night and leaves Sunday night.

I don't know the rules exactly, hopefully someone wiser can help, but I think this bit is the only part that could cause confusion with respect you to your benefits.

Best of luck, hope it works out for you.

Gentile

Tiglath wrote: »

How nice of you to pick on a couple with mental health issues who are trying to sort out their family situation.

Where am i picking on them ? Pointed out the problem in the scenario.

She argued lots with him and got him removed by police and then haves him over every week for a shag. Does not add up. The only possible explanation is she got him removed so she can claim a lot of benefits.

Mojisola

Fluffybug wrote: »

children's services have told us we cannot get back together until they have an up to date psychiatric report or they will take our children.

He sees the kids Mon, Tue, Wed between 6-8, then goes home. Then he comes over on Friday night and leaves Sunday night.

Do Children's Services know that he spends so much time at your house? I can't see any difference between what you're doing now and "being back together".

My OH used to have to work away most weeks for a time when the children were little and only saw them at weekends but we were definitely a couple!

He uses my address as a correspondence address as he has no permanent fixed address.

This is going to be a problem and may be what caused the investigation.

He doesn't pay maintenance, although he usually buys milk & nappies for the kids.

It would be better if he gave you the money and you gave him a receipt for Child Maintenance.

He doesn't contribute to the bills, we are not a couple, he doesn't live with me, we don't share a bed, and we have been expressly forbidden to even be a couple by children's services, however I'm worried that as we are still on such good terms and he therefore has such regular relaxed contact, that they will get the wrong impression.

You're not complying with Children's Services which could put you in a difficult position regarding the children. It's good that the children are still seeing their Dad but don't put your family at risk by not keeping the CS informed about the amount of time he spends at the house.

Fluffybug

fishybusiness wrote: »

All said, you want your relationship to work, but it seems the system is not working for you at the moment.



I don't know the rules exactly, hopefully someone wiser can help, but I think this bit is the only part that could cause confusion with respect you to your benefits.

Best of luck, hope it works out for you.

Thank you.

Fluffybug

Mojisola wrote: »

You're not complying with Children's Services which could put you in a difficult position regarding the children.

Thank you, but we are complying with children's services. They are aware of the arrangements and often do spot checks. I have been woken at 8 in the morning by them pressing their nose up against the window and banging on it and checking I was asleep alone on the sofa. They often do unannounced visits to check, and have watched our house to make sure he only attends during the hours they know of.
Unfortunately, he is my entire support network, so they understand he helps out a lot with the kids

whitewing

OP, I do believe you are doing your best in extremely trying circumstances. I also think that this arrangement is not going to go down well with Children's Services if they are concerned about the safety of your children.

Is it possible for you to get some legal advice from a solicitor? I don't know the rules but perhaps the children themselves may be eligible for support towards the cost of this, if you aren't? I guess it may mean though that legally the courts agree with children's services.

miduck

I am in agreement with Mojisola here, your living arrangements are unlikely to be what SS intended when it was agreed your husband was moving out. He sees the children more than many fathers that do live at home.

You need to be honest with both the DWP and SS, but be prepared that both may not be happy with your arrangement.

If the only thing keeping you apart is a psychiatric report, why not just pay to go private? Far cheaper than maintaining two households.

Fluffybug

Gentile wrote: »

Where am i picking on them ? Pointed out the problem in the scenario.

She argued lots with him and got him removed by police and then haves him over every week for a shag. Does not add up. The only possible explanation is she got him removed so she can claim a lot of benefits.

Actually, we argued a few times, I had him removed twice, then he went to stay at a friends for a week so we had time to ourselves. We decided to have a trial separation for a month, neither of us were happy, and when he went to move back in, children's services said no, insisted I cancelled the joint tax credits claim, and then claimed everything as a single parent.
I protested, but was told if I didn't comply, they'd seek legal advice to take the children.